Deep Dive: In Depth Examination Of Getting In One’s (My) Own Way With Manifestations

The speaker discusses the challenge of overcoming self-imposed barriers, particularly in areas of life that hold significant personal importance. They emphasize the difficulty of relinquishing control over these critical areas, using their own experiences with weight and self-image as examples. The speaker describes a journey of shifting mindset from a focus on physical appearance to mental freedom, highlighting the role of self-awareness and the importance of letting go of the need to micromanage. They stress the significance of defining goals, trusting in a higher intelligence, and allowing desires to manifest naturally without constant worry or interference.

• Discusses the difficulty of getting out of one's own way, especially in areas of life that are deeply important.
• Highlights the tendency to over-control significant areas due to fear of failure or loss.
• Emphasizes the importance of defining goals and desires, then trusting in a higher intelligence to manifest them.

"It's really easy to get out of your own way in some areas... but if you have a big one in your life... those are the areas where you feel like you have to continue to control things the most."

• This quote underscores the challenge of relinquishing control in areas that hold significant personal value.

"The part of this that's my business is defining the goal, defining the desire, and then giving it to Divine intelligence to coordinate and bring to me."

• The speaker emphasizes the importance of focusing on setting intentions rather than obsessing over the process of achieving them.

• Shares a personal journey of striving towards an ideal physical shape, which was an obsession for over 25 years.
• Describes a pivotal moment of realization at age 38, leading to a mental shift and successful weight loss.
• Discusses the discomfort and challenges faced during the weight loss journey.

"I was pretty much in my IDEAL Physical shape... getting into my IDEAL Physical shape was nearly an obsession for 25 years."

• Illustrates the long-standing focus and effort dedicated to achieving a personal goal.

"I had this moment where I just realized I can absolutely do this... all these ideas... were gone in an instant."

• Highlights the transformative moment of realizing personal capability and dispelling limiting beliefs.

• Explains the mental shift that led to the success of the weight loss journey, emphasizing self-belief and discipline.
• Describes the process of exercising and maintaining a restrictive diet as key actions.

"In that moment, I knew... this thing that I had wanted for so long plus this understanding that I could absolutely do it would equal me doing it."

• This quote captures the speaker's newfound confidence and the equation of desire plus belief leading to achievement.

"I am just going to discipline my way through it because I can do it. I know I can."

• Reflects the speaker's commitment to discipline as a means to achieve personal goals.

• Discusses the mental and emotional challenges of maintaining weight loss and physical fitness.
• Describes the disruption of routine due to external circumstances like COVID-19 and its impact on mental health.
• Acknowledges lingering perceptions and judgments about body image despite achieving physical goals.

"I still have all these judgments about my body myself physically... my worth as a woman is nearly 100% based on the outer."

• Reveals ongoing struggles with self-perception and societal pressures related to body image.

"I was back up to like almost 1:30... I became aware during all those experiences how many perceptions I had about this issue that were still like wildly off."

• Highlights the realization of persistent mental barriers and the need for continued personal growth and acceptance.

• Recognizes the need to relinquish control and trust in a higher process for managing personal challenges.
• Emphasizes the importance of setting intentions and allowing divine intelligence to guide outcomes.

"I keep trying to manage this... I need to make an intention about this and give it up and let Divine intelligence do its thing."

• Conveys the speaker's understanding of the necessity to let go of control and trust in a greater process for resolution.

• The speaker discusses overcoming self-doubt about being lovable and finding love with their fiancé, Matt.
• The relationship with Matt helped dispel fears of being physically flawed and seeking approval from others.
• The speaker expresses a newfound confidence and self-acceptance that wasn't present before Matt's influence.

"I met my fiancé Matt who helped in many ways with that stuff... I still had this idea of like could somebody love me... him showing up and loving me in my near ideal state really like some big..."

• The speaker found reassurance and self-acceptance through the love and support of their fiancé, Matt.

• The speaker reflects on emotional eating habits linked to family memories, specifically with their father.
• A particular food, Oreo Blizzard from Dairy Queen, is associated with childhood memories and becomes a trigger for emotional eating.
• The speaker struggled with emotional eating during a difficult time when their father was dying.

"There is a specific food that I don't ever eat because it is just like a drug... it is an Oreo Blizzard from Dairy Queen... Dairy Queen is also heavily associated with my dad."

• Emotional eating was tied to nostalgic memories with the speaker's father, making certain foods difficult to resist.

• The speaker shares their journey of struggling with self-worth, weight, and mental health.
• An intention was set to prioritize mental freedom over physical appearance, even if it meant gaining weight.
• The speaker experienced a challenging period of weight gain and self-judgment but sought to overcome it by focusing on mental liberation.

"I even said in this intention I would rather be fat and free from this mental prison... what I want is to be out of this mental prison."

• The speaker prioritized mental health over societal standards of physical appearance, aiming for liberation from self-imposed mental constraints.

• The speaker describes a period of weight gain as an out-of-control experience, feeling like an observer of their own life.
• Despite setting intentions for mental freedom, the speaker struggled with accepting the physical changes.
• The experience was described as a bizarre manifestation that eventually resolved itself without conscious effort.

"It was like some entity took over me and made me gain 30 lbs... it just like leveled out and went away."

• The speaker felt detached from their actions during the weight gain, observing it as an uncontrollable event that eventually subsided.

• The speaker emphasizes the importance of not resisting and trusting in a loving presence or divine intelligence.
• They believe that developing faith and trust can lead to faster and less painful resolutions of life's challenges.
• Reflecting on their past, the speaker acknowledges the difficulty of letting go and trusting the process.

"If you can get good at not resisting and if you can get good at dealing with your fear that what's happening is bad... I think things can happen so fast."

• The speaker highlights the significance of faith and trust in overcoming challenges and achieving personal growth.

• The speaker recounts a period of self-blame and anger towards themselves and their fiancé, Matt, for supporting their behavior.
• They discuss the process of forgiving themselves and Matt for the perceived mistakes during this time.
• The speaker acknowledges the inevitability of the experience and the necessity of moving past self-judgment.

"I was super pissed off at myself and judging myself... I was mad at Matt sometimes but 1% of the time 99% of the time I was super pissed off at myself."

• The speaker struggled with self-blame and had to work through feelings of anger and judgment to find forgiveness and understanding.

• The speaker discusses their experience with aging and the use of cosmetic procedures to maintain a youthful appearance.
• They share a story about being denied a cosmetic procedure and the impact it had on their self-image.
• The speaker reflects on their attachment to cosmetic enhancements and the challenge of accepting natural aging.

"I used to get filler around my eyes... I was very attached to this filler that I was getting... the plastic surgeon that was doing it for me retired."

• The speaker's reliance on cosmetic procedures highlights their struggle with self-image and the societal pressures of aging.

• The speaker experienced a significant personal transformation by rejecting the reliance on physical appearance for self-worth.
• A critical moment of realization led to a decision to stop living in a way that prioritized appearance over well-being.
• The speaker's journey involved fighting against self-critical thoughts and embracing self-acceptance over a two-year period.
• The process of change was gradual and involved constant self-correction and awareness.

"I was just like, no, I'm, you know, no, I'm not living like this anymore, and I kind of popped out of that depression."

• This quote signifies a pivotal moment where the speaker decided to reject their previous mindset, marking the beginning of their personal transformation.

"I would go to take an action I realized that I always berated myself if I enjoyed a meal."

• The speaker identified a pattern of self-criticism related to food and began challenging this mindset as part of their journey towards self-acceptance.

• The speaker describes an internal voice that criticized their actions, especially related to food and appearance.
• Through awareness and repetition, the speaker managed to silence this critical voice, which was responsible for much of their inner turmoil.
• The speaker acknowledges that overcoming this internal criticism was essential for achieving peace and self-acceptance.

"I just started saying, you know what, the truth is I don't have to do anything."

• This realization helped the speaker break free from the self-imposed obligations tied to appearance and societal expectations.

"That voice is gone, like that thing was responsible for 95% of the disruptions to my peace in my life, and it's gone."

• The speaker highlights the significance of silencing the internal critic in achieving personal peace and contentment.

• Events such as family gatherings and weddings prompted the speaker to confront their concerns about social perception and self-worth.
• The speaker realized the superficiality of worrying about others' opinions and began to focus on intrinsic self-value.
• This shift in perspective was part of the broader mental evolution towards self-acceptance and away from external validation.

"I had to just come to this realization that I make taking so much out of something that isn't a big deal."

• The speaker acknowledges the unnecessary weight they placed on others' opinions, leading to a more liberated self-view.

"Why do I need to be attractive to like 60-year-old cousins of mine? Why is that important to me?"

• This rhetorical question reflects the speaker's realization of the triviality of seeking validation from others, prompting a reevaluation of personal priorities.

• The speaker identifies work-related stress and a busy lifestyle as factors contributing to unhealthy habits and self-neglect.
• Acknowledging these stressors allowed the speaker to recognize the need for balance and self-care.
• The speaker expresses readiness to pursue physical changes without the previous resistance, focusing on holistic well-being.

"I'm really busy at work all the time, like it's very difficult for me to worry about food at work."

• The speaker highlights how work stress impacted their ability to maintain a healthy lifestyle, prompting a need for change.

"I think it's time for the outer manifestation to start to happen."

• This indicates the speaker's readiness to align their physical state with their mental well-being, marking a new phase in their transformation journey.

• The speaker expresses a newfound openness to change, including diet and exercise, without the previous resistance.
• This openness is part of a broader intention to achieve an ideal physical state that complements their mental growth.
• The speaker's journey reflects a balance between accepting the present and striving for future improvements.

"I think probably now I need to do some of this changing in a different physical form."

• The speaker acknowledges the need for physical change to align with their mental evolution, indicating a holistic approach to self-improvement.

"I don't feel this big resistance to that."

• This lack of resistance signifies the speaker's readiness to embrace necessary changes, reflecting growth and acceptance of the transformation process.

• The speaker discusses the realization of self-imposed barriers, particularly regarding cooking and food choices, and acknowledges the unnecessary limitations previously set.
• A significant incident involving an unexpected encounter led to a profound insight about the need for change in work and lifestyle to reduce stress and anxiety.
• The speaker highlights the internal conflict of trying to manage multiple goals simultaneously, leading to stress and failure.

"All these objections that I'd have just left, and I just started doing it without even really thinking about it."

• The speaker acknowledges how previous objections to cooking at work were unnecessary, leading to a new perspective and action.

"I started, I was like, this isn't happening fast enough... I'm fighting two battles at once."

• Reflects the struggle of managing multiple goals and the realization that trying too hard can hinder progress.

• Anxiety is identified as a trigger for compulsive eating, not out of hunger but as a response to stress.
• The speaker describes a cycle of eating driven by anxiety rather than genuine hunger, leading to a lack of progress in weight management.

"For me, it's just like every time the anxiety comes up, you just eat something."

• The speaker describes the compulsion to eat as a response to anxiety, highlighting the emotional rather than physical need.

"I was just kind of like eating what I wanted and I was like, I'm not getting anywhere."

• This quote reflects the frustration of not seeing progress in weight management despite efforts to control eating habits.

• Emphasizes the need to take personal responsibility for one's actions and the importance of letting go of rigid control.
• The speaker discusses the difficulty of letting go of control and the realization that meticulous planning can sometimes hinder progress.

"I'm going to have to be the general contractor for this thing... which is different from wanting to do something and then doing it even though you don't want to."

• Highlights the need for personal responsibility and the distinction between doing something out of necessity versus desire.

"I have to let this go and the how is not my business."

• Reflects the realization that over-planning and control can be counterproductive, and letting go can lead to better outcomes.

• The speaker explores the concept of control as an illusion, identifying how central life themes can distract from deeper existential fears.
• The narrative suggests that focusing on fixing external problems can be a way to avoid confronting internal fears and the nature of reality.

"These big Central life themes... they're a giant distraction so that you don't have to actually deal with the nature of reality."

• The speaker posits that life themes can serve as distractions from confronting deeper existential issues.

"How long am I going to continue to play in this world of Illusion with this romantic theme and this weight theme and this business theme?"

• Reflects the recognition of life themes as potentially illusory and the desire to break free from them.

• The speaker shares experiences of manifestation and the perception of change, emphasizing the importance of mental shifts in achieving desired outcomes.
• The narrative includes a personal account of how mental shifts led to unexpected positive changes, reinforcing the power of mindset.

"I was like, my romantic fulfillment is a done deal... and then boom, Matt just showed up out of nowhere."

• Demonstrates the speaker's belief in the power of mental shifts and manifestation leading to desired outcomes.

"I'm convinced... what you're seeing at any given time is pretty much exactly how I want it to be."

• Suggests that one's current circumstances reflect internal desires and choices, emphasizing the power of perception in shaping reality.