Why "Follow Your Passion" Is Terrible Advice

The transcript explores the misconception of following one's passion, emphasizing that passion involves enduring suffering for something meaningful. It critiques the modern interpretation of passion as merely doing what one loves, highlighting its origin from the Latin word "pacio," meaning suffering. The speaker argues that passion exists in the rare moments and warns against expecting constant fulfillment from work. They stress the importance of having a compelling "why" to endure life's challenges, suggesting that suffering is a fixed cost across all paths. Ultimately, the speaker encourages reframing reality to find value in difficult experiences, advocating for aiming high despite inevitable hardships.

• The concept of passion is often misunderstood; it is not about doing what you love but finding something worth suffering for.
• Passion originates from the Latin word "pacio," meaning suffering, exemplified by the Passion of Christ.
• The modern interpretation of following one's passion as doing what you love is a misinterpretation.

"People want to follow their passion but don't even know what it actually means. So the root of the word pacio is Latin for suffering. So it's not about doing what you love. It's about finding something that you love enough that it's worth suffering for."

• Passion involves enduring hardships for something you find meaningful, not merely pursuing enjoyment.

• Many people mistakenly believe that pursuing passion means loving every moment of their endeavor.
• True passion involves brief moments of enjoyment surrounded by tasks that may not be enjoyable.

"Your passion only exists in the vague, not in the specific. So even if you start a business around what you believe to be your passion, 95% of what you do every day, if you're successful, will not be your passion."

• Passionate pursuits require enduring non-passionate tasks, as the majority of time is spent on supportive activities.

• The idea that passion should be constant and fulfilling is a myth; passion is often fleeting and rare.
• The rarity of engaging in passionate activities is what maintains their value and enjoyment.

"And if it stays rare, then it means that the vast majority of your time you're not really doing it. And so it's just a complete myth."

• Constant engagement in a "passion" can lead to loss of interest and enjoyment due to overexposure.

• Suffering is a universal experience, regardless of one's life choices or circumstances.
• The belief that changing one's situation will eliminate suffering is misguided.

"There is suffering in every path of life. And so I see the the the core issue especially with entrepreneurs especially new coming entrepreneurs is that they look at their existing state and think I am suffering and therefore there's something wrong with this."

• Accepting suffering as an inevitable part of life can lead to a more realistic and resilient approach to challenges.

• Struggle and suffering are essential for personal growth and achieving meaningful goals.
• Avoiding suffering can prevent individuals from reaching their full potential.

"The ambition and the passion go hand in hand in that you are stating to the world and more importantly to yourself that you were willing to suffer for this thing because you have deemed it important enough to suffer for."

• Embracing challenges and hardships is crucial for developing resilience and achieving long-term success.

• The notion of achieving success without effort, like winning the lottery, is unfulfilling and unrealistic.
• Genuine satisfaction comes from overcoming obstacles and achieving goals through effort.

"If you were playing a video game and day one I said enter this cheat code, you have max life, max strength, max money, max good looks, and then you go through the the whole game and it's incredibly easy. What would you do? You just never play the game."

• True fulfillment is derived from the journey and the challenges faced along the way, not from effortless success.

• Success and failure are intertwined, with failure being an earlier exit on the same journey.
• The path chosen will inherently involve difficulty, so it's crucial to choose a path that aligns with one's values or offers better rewards.
• The notion of suffering is constant across all paths, and the key is to reframe one's perception of reality to find value in challenges.

"Success and failure are on the same path. Failure is just an earlier exit."

• This quote highlights the idea that both success and failure are part of the same journey, with failure simply being a premature stop along the way.

"Suffering is a fixed cost, right? The suffering on all paths is a fixed cost."

• This emphasizes that no matter what path one chooses, some level of suffering is inevitable, and it should be considered a constant factor in decision-making.

• The goal is to change one's frame of reference to see the benefits in both positive and negative experiences.
• It's crucial to focus on altering perceptions rather than trying to change the external conditions of reality.

"The goal is to reframe your living experience so that bad things are good. Not to try and only experience good things."

• This quote stresses the importance of changing one's perspective to find value in adverse situations rather than seeking only positive experiences.

"You have to change your frame, not your conditions. Your perceptions, not reality."

• It underscores the need to adjust one's mindset and perception of circumstances instead of attempting to alter the external world.

• When faced with options that all involve equal suffering, choose the one that aligns most closely with personal values or offers the greatest potential reward.
• Aim high since the fears associated with aiming big are often unfounded.

"You will suffer the same. You'll suffer regret more here. You'll suffer difficulty more here. But you'll suffer the same. It's a fixed cost."

• This quote illustrates that irrespective of the choice, the amount of suffering remains constant, so one should choose paths that offer the most fulfillment or reward.

"Aiming big is so real for me... what's the alternative? Aiming small and also still suffering."

• It advocates for setting ambitious goals because the level of suffering is constant, so it's better to aim for something significant.

• Passion should be directed towards the 'why' and 'how' of actions rather than the specific tasks ('what') being performed.
• A strong, enduring 'why' can help overcome almost any 'how,' making it essential to have a purpose bigger than oneself.

"Do not try to be passionate about what you do, but try to be passionate about why and how you do it."

• This emphasizes focusing passion on the reasons and methods behind actions rather than the specific activities themselves.

"If a man has a big enough why, he can overcome almost any how."

• A quote from Victor Frankl, highlighting the power of a strong purpose in overcoming challenges.

• Love and commitment can drive individuals to endure significant hardships for the sake of others.
• The willingness to sacrifice for loved ones is a powerful motivator and can enhance one's ability to endure challenges.

"The man who loves the journey will walk further than the man who loves the destination. But the man who walks to protect his family will walk until the other man dies."

• This quote illustrates the profound impact of having a purpose or duty that involves others, which can drive one to endure beyond personal limits.

"If you want to do big things, it will cost you great pain... the why is your passion, not the path."

• It underscores the necessity of having a strong 'why' to navigate through significant challenges effectively.

• There is value in embracing duty and responsibility, especially in providing for others.
• The speaker expresses a personal passion for helping men fulfill their roles as providers.

"I want to make duty cool again. I want to make it cool for like a man to go in a field and work a rice patty and know that they did a job because of who they did it for."

• This reflects a desire to reframe traditional roles of duty and provision as honorable and fulfilling responsibilities.

"My passion, what I'm willing to suffer for, is helping men provide."

• The speaker shares a personal mission to support men in their roles as providers, highlighting the significance of duty and sacrifice.

• The speaker identifies the core components of masculinity as providing, protecting, and procreating.
• Emphasizes the importance of focusing on one of these core components as a life mission.
• Discusses the personal significance of creating content and writing books, believing they will matter more than wealth.

"I see the core components of me and men specifically as provide, protect, procreate."

• This quote highlights the speaker's belief in traditional male roles and responsibilities.

"I spend so much time on my books and this content because I think on my deathbed it will matter more than any wealth that I accumulate."

• The speaker values the legacy of knowledge and influence over material wealth.

• The speaker asserts that having a quest or mission is essential for fulfillment, particularly for men.
• Criticizes societal discouragement of facing challenges, emphasizing that overcoming obstacles is part of the journey.
• Believes that the pursuit of a meaningful quest involves suffering and growth.

"Something I believe to my bones is that a man must have a quest. You have to drive towards something."

• The speaker emphasizes the importance of having a purpose-driven life.

"Society is telling us, 'Oh, this is not the right path for you because it's not all sunshine and rainbows and unicorns.'"

• Critiques societal expectations that life should be easy and without challenges.

• Discusses the misconception that passion is solely about enjoying the journey rather than the destination.
• Suggests that passion is often about the results and what the work achieves, rather than the work itself.
• Uses the analogy of Frodo's quest to illustrate commitment and sacrifice for a greater cause.

"You can become passionate about your work because you become passionate about what your work gets you."

• The quote suggests that passion can be derived from the outcomes and impacts of one's work.

"Frodo on his quest to destroy the ring was willing to die for it. He was willing to give up his home for it, his friends for it, his family for it."

• Uses Frodo's journey to exemplify the ultimate dedication to a meaningful quest.

• Argues that growth requires suffering and that enduring challenges is part of personal development.
• Encourages acceptance of the pain associated with growth as an integral part of achieving meaningful goals.
• Warns against those who undermine the value of suffering in pursuit of growth.

"The stretch between who you are and who is required, the person you have to become to handle your current struggle is the pain of growth."

• The speaker highlights the transformative power of facing and overcoming personal challenges.

"The people who try to tell you otherwise either don't know better or actively are trying to destroy you."

• Warns against advice that discourages enduring hardship for personal growth.

• Stresses the importance of finding work that is meaningful and worth suffering for.
• Shares personal experiences of dissatisfaction during periods of inactivity or lack of purpose.
• Believes that meaningful work should be pursued despite its challenges and hardships.

"I had no quest. And I remember being in Mexico... I had to think to myself like what do I find meaningful?"

• Reflects on a personal period of introspection and the realization of the need for purposeful work.

"For me, it's helping younger me out because I know how much pain I was in."

• The speaker finds meaning in alleviating the struggles of others who are in similar situations he once faced.

• Discusses the concept of hedonistic adaptation and how people adjust to both positive and negative changes.
• Suggests that happiness returns to a baseline after significant life changes.
• Encourages focusing on the reasons behind one's actions rather than the fleeting nature of happiness.

"After your next major life change you'll have a short period of improved subjective well-being and then you'll return to baseline."

• Describes the temporary nature of happiness following significant life events.

"There's nothing wrong with you if you were pursuing something for the purpose of something that you find meaningful independent of how hard it is."

• Encourages individuals to pursue meaningful goals despite the challenges involved.

• The speaker shares personal experiences of working long hours with little sleep, highlighting the physical and mental toll it took.
• Hard work and perseverance are emphasized as crucial elements in overcoming adversity and achieving success.
• The speaker reflects on the challenges faced when transitioning from a white-collar job to starting a personal training business.

"I remember like I slept for less than I would sleep for around four to five hours every night. But I did that consistently for about 6 months."

• This quote illustrates the intense commitment and sacrifice required during the speaker's early career phase.

"I had also given up something that was significant. I had a white collar job and every person that I knew... had higher status than me."

• This highlights the social and professional sacrifices made when choosing to pursue a passion over a conventional career path.

• The speaker discusses the uncertainty and risk involved in starting a new business without a guaranteed outcome.
• Emphasizes the importance of commitment and persistence in the face of potential failure and societal pressure.
• Encourages a mindset of continuous effort and resilience, regardless of the challenges faced.

"I didn't know when I would succeed or if I would succeed, but I did know that I wouldn't stop and that if I didn't stop that I couldn't be called a failure."

• This quote underscores the speaker's determination to persevere despite uncertainty and the fear of failure.

"I would encourage you to think out in more specificity what really is the worst case scenario as someone who slept in the car or slept on the floor."

• This suggests the importance of confronting and accepting worst-case scenarios as part of managing risk.

• Money is acknowledged as providing options, but not necessarily improving subjective well-being.
• The speaker reflects on personal experiences of happiness and hardship, irrespective of financial status.
• Emphasizes the internal nature of well-being and the limited impact of external factors like wealth.

"For sure, money will give you options, but it will not really dramatically change your subjective well-being because that is very internal."

• This quote highlights the belief that true happiness and contentment come from within, not from financial success.

• Work is portrayed as a fundamental aspect of identity and purpose, particularly for men.
• The speaker shares a personal family story to illustrate the value of hard work and perseverance.
• Emphasizes the importance of choosing a path aligned with personal values and interests, despite the inherent challenges.

"You have two hands and one mind that's it. And I always thought about that."

• This quote reflects the speaker's belief in the simplicity and power of using one's capabilities to achieve meaningful work.

"I see a man's work as something that's incredibly core to who we are."

• This underscores the integral role work plays in defining personal identity and purpose.

• The inevitability of suffering is acknowledged as a part of life and the pursuit of goals.
• Encourages acceptance of suffering as a constant, allowing for the freedom to choose one's path.
• Advocates for finding meaning and satisfaction in the journey, rather than expecting an end to challenges.

"The suffering will not stop. Like we work because on some level we think the suffering will end and it just won't."

• This quote emphasizes the perpetual nature of challenges and the importance of accepting them as part of life's journey.

"If you can accept the suffering as the toll that you pay on all these paths, then at least you get to pick where you go."

• This suggests that embracing suffering allows for greater autonomy and choice in life's direction.