You Are Not Good Because You Are Unwilling To Be Bad Ep 251

Summary Notes


In a candid discussion, the host emphasizes the detrimental impact of self-limiting beliefs on personal and professional growth. He illustrates how individuals often prematurely label themselves as inherently bad at certain skills, like math or sales, without investing the necessary time and effort to learn and improve. He shares anecdotes, including a friend's reluctance to pursue sales due to a lack of training and a young neighbor's success in real estate through self-taught methods and perseverance. The host urges listeners to adopt the mindset that skills can be acquired through consistent practice, and to reject the notion that initial incompetence precludes eventual mastery. Additionally, Speaker C encourages audience support for the podcast to assist more entrepreneurs.

Summary Notes

Self-Limiting Beliefs

  • Individuals often limit their own learning potential by adopting a defeatist attitude when faced with difficulties.
  • The belief that one is inherently bad at something can prevent success and growth.
  • Identifying with being poor at a skill can create a mental block against improving in that area.

"They inherently limit themselves from learning because they have this checkbox in their head that as soon as it gets difficult, they say, ah, I'm bad at this. I am bad at this. I identify with being poor at this thing and therefore will never succeed at this thing. That's a requirement for being successful."

This quote illustrates the idea that self-imposed limitations are a significant barrier to learning and success. If an individual decides they are inherently bad at something, they are less likely to persist and improve.

The Purpose of the Podcast

  • The podcast aims to discuss strategies for customer acquisition, maximizing customer value, and retention.
  • The hosts share their experiences, failures, and lessons learned along the journey.

"Welcome to the game where we talk about how to get more customers, how to make more per customer, and how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned along the way. I hope you enjoy and subscribe."

Speaker B introduces the podcast's main focus, which revolves around business growth strategies and customer relationship management, while also setting the stage for an exchange of experiences and lessons.

The Danger of Fixed Mindsets

  • Speaker A emphasizes the danger of believing one is inherently bad at certain things.
  • The belief that skill deficiencies are permanent can be harmful and limit personal growth and success.
  • Speaker A aims to deconstruct this belief to help listeners overcome it.

"What's going on? Everyone happy whatever day of the week it is. Friday. Happy Friday. I wanted to make this kind of short video for you because I had two or three things happen over the last handful of days that just seemed to be this repeated thing. And it reminded me that a lot of people struggle with this, which is they believe that they are inherently bad at things because they are not good at them. And I think that is an incredibly dangerous belief set to have."

Speaker A addresses the common issue of people doubting their abilities due to a fixed mindset, which they aim to challenge and change through the podcast.

Building on Success

  • Success requires the development of skills, character traits, and correct beliefs.
  • Beliefs are fundamental throughout the process of skill and character development.
  • Without the belief in one's ability to acquire a skill or trait, the likelihood of achieving it diminishes.

"So I think one of the most viable beliefs, because in terms of building on success, in my opinion, first you need to develop skills, then you need to develop character traits to make sure that you do those skills, and then you have to make sure that your beliefs are correct so that you can open up the world, right? But the beliefs are kind of imbued throughout the entire process. Because if you don't believe you can acquire skill, you never will, right? If you don't believe you can have a character trait, you never will."

Speaker A outlines the importance of beliefs in the process of skill and character development. They argue that without the belief in the possibility of acquiring a skill or trait, one cannot succeed.

The Value of Learning and Training

  • A friend of Speaker A is considering a career change due to a lack of valuable skills and income.
  • Speaker A suggests learning sales as a valuable skill that can lead to higher earnings.
  • The friend's initial reaction is that she is not good at sales due to a lack of training, which Speaker A challenges.

"And so I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who's looking to switch career paths. She's trying to figure out she wasn't making as much money as she wanted to make. And the issue that she was dealing with, she's like, she just doesn't have a valuable enough skill set, right? And she's like, I want to make this much money. And I was like, well, you're never going to do that doing what you're doing, right? And I was like, have you considered learning how to sell? Right? Because if you sell, if you still have the desire for security, but if you know how to sell, you can pretty much write your own paycheck if you know where to look. And she was like, I'm not good at sales. I'm not a salesperson. And I was like, well, how many hours of sales training have you gone through? She was like, none. And I was like, well, then why would it be reasonable for you to be good at sales, right? That doesn't make any sense. Of course you're not good at sales. Like, you haven't done it."

Speaker A recounts a discussion with a friend about the importance of gaining valuable skills, such as sales, to increase income potential. The friend's self-doubt due to a lack of training is highlighted, and Speaker A uses this as an example to demonstrate the irrationality of the belief that one is inherently bad at something without having attempted to learn it.

Investment in Skill Development

  • Discusses the importance of investing time to develop skills, particularly in marketing.
  • Highlights the unreasonable expectation to be good at a skill without investing time into learning it.
  • Emphasizes the recurring issue where people expect proficiency without effort.

"Well, none. Well, then why is it reasonable that it would be unreasonable for you to be good at this skill, given the amount of investment you've made?"

This quote underscores the speaker's point that without dedicating time to study marketing, it is unreasonable to expect oneself to excel in it. The speaker is challenging the listener to reflect on their own efforts towards skill acquisition.

Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

  • Addresses the common fear of math among business professionals.
  • Stresses that basic arithmetic is sufficient for business success.
  • Argues that the belief of being bad at math is a self-imposed limitation.
  • Suggests that a lack of understanding of concepts leads to the misconception of being bad at math.

"And I can see people starting to freak out because they're like, I'm not good at math, and I have to lean back or lean pressure onto that belief because one that's a belief that will literally never serve you."

The speaker observes the panic that arises when math is involved in business discussions and stresses the importance of confronting and challenging the belief of being bad at math, as it is detrimental to one's growth and success.

Simplifying Business Math

  • Emphasizes that success in business does not require advanced math skills.
  • Suggests that understanding and applying basic mathematical operations are all that is needed.
  • Points out that calculators can aid with basic arithmetic required for business calculations.

"You can massively succeed in business knowing only, not even algebra, just basic multiplication, subtraction, division."

The speaker simplifies the math skills needed for business, reassuring listeners that fundamental arithmetic is adequate for success, demystifying the complexity often associated with business math.

Misconception of Abilities

  • Differentiates between being bad at math and not understanding the terminology.
  • Explains that misunderstanding terms like "cost per acquisition" leads to the false belief of being bad at math.
  • Highlights how such misconceptions can prevent individuals from learning and improving.

"And so everyone gets tripped up and then they say, I'm bad at math, when in reality they just don't understand the term."

This quote clarifies that the issue is not a lack of mathematical ability but a lack of understanding of business terminology, which can be mistaken for being bad at math.

Self-Identification and Limitation

  • Discusses the psychological impact of identifying with a lack of ability.
  • Explains how self-identifying as bad at something can create a mental block against improving in that area.
  • Suggests that this mindset can prevent success in areas deemed essential for success.

"I identify with being poor at this thing and therefore will never succeed at this thing. That's a requirement for being successful."

The speaker points out the harmful cycle where individuals label themselves as inherently bad at a skill, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy that hinders their success.

Belief in Possibility

  • Advocates for the belief that if someone else can achieve something, it is also possible for oneself.
  • Encourages the mindset that emulating the actions of successful individuals can lead to similar outcomes.
  • Discusses the impartial nature of actions and their outcomes, regardless of one's perceived deservingness or skill level.

"If someone can, therefore I can."

The speaker shares a personal cornerstone belief that one's ability to achieve is not limited by others' achievements, suggesting that anything another person can do is also possible for oneself if the same actions are taken.

Practice and Mastery

  • Asserts that consistent practice in a skill, such as sales, can lead to mastery.
  • Highlights that most people do not practice regularly, giving an advantage to those who do.
  • Suggests that dedication to practicing a skill can place one in the top percentile of performers in that field.

"If you spend an hour a day practicing sales, over a year, you will likely be in the top 10%, 5%, 2% of people."

This quote suggests a direct correlation between the time invested in practicing a skill and the level of expertise achieved, emphasizing the benefits of consistent effort over time.

Emotional Management and Procrastination

  • People often spend time dealing with their emotions and procrastinating.
  • They justify their lack of success by not acknowledging the insufficient time and effort invested.
  • Success is often deemed unreasonable for those who have not put in the necessary work.

"People do absolutely nothing except for deal with their emotions on a regular basis and procrastinate and give themselves reasons for why they are not successful."

This quote highlights a common behavior where individuals focus on their emotions and procrastination, using them as excuses for their lack of success. It suggests a disconnect between their expectations of success and the actual effort they have invested.

Support for the Podcast

  • The speaker does not run ads or sell products through the podcast.
  • The audience is encouraged to help spread the word to support entrepreneurs.
  • The speaker asks for ratings, reviews, and shares to reach and assist more people.

"Real quick, guys, you guys already know that I don't run any ads on this, and I don't sell anything. And so the only ask that I can ever have of you guys is that you help me spread the word so we can help more entrepreneurs make more money, feed their families, make better products, and have better experiences for their employees and customers."

The speaker emphasizes the non-commercial nature of the podcast and requests audience support in sharing the content to benefit entrepreneurs, indicating the podcast's mission to positively impact the business community.

The Power of Belief and Mentoring

  • The speaker mentors an 18-year-old who has not yet faced significant setbacks, leading to a strong belief in his capabilities.
  • This belief is seen as making him "dangerous" in a positive sense, as he is more likely to take risks and attempt new ventures.
  • The mentor encourages this mindset and provides resources to aid in his success.

"And the thing is, he's too young to know that he can't do things yet. And what that does is it makes him incredibly dangerous because he hasn't been slapped in the face by the world yet."

This quote discusses the advantage of youthful optimism and the lack of limitations that often come with inexperience. The speaker sees this as a strength that can drive the young individual to take risks and potentially succeed.

Learning and Skill Development

  • An example is given of a young individual learning through free resources and taking action by cold calling.
  • The speaker prepared the mentee for the reality of initial failure and the eventual success through persistence.
  • The speaker advocates for a mindset of expecting difficulties when learning a new skill, which can lead to eventual proficiency.

"And so he just started cold calling based on what the YouTube videos said off of a free list that he found on the Internet. And he closed his first deal as 18 year old."

This quote illustrates the practical steps taken by the young mentee to learn and apply new skills, leading to real-world success. It emphasizes the value of self-education and initiative.

"But what I did was I prepared him mentally by saying, like, you're going to suck at this for a very, very long time. And eventually, after doing it so many times, it will be unreasonable for you to suck."

The mentor's advice to the mentee is to expect initial failure as part of the learning process, with the understanding that perseverance will lead to improvement and success. This approach is suggested as a universal method for skill development.

Growth Mindset and Skill Acquisition

  • Adopting a growth mindset is crucial for learning and improving in any field.
  • Consistent practice and effort can lead to mastery over time, even in areas where one initially lacks talent.
  • Overcoming the beginner stage often requires rejecting the belief that one inherently lacks the ability to learn and improve.
  • A growth mindset is particularly important for small business owners and those starting new ventures.
  • Investing in skills, even when fear or self-doubt is present, is a necessary step towards growth.

But if I do these actions, it would, over time, be unreasonable for me to be bad at these things.

This quote emphasizes that consistent actions and practice over time make it unlikely for someone to remain unskilled in a particular area, highlighting the power of effort over innate talent.

The Limiting Nature of Self-Doubt

  • Self-doubt can prevent people from progressing beyond the beginner stage.
  • Many people dismiss their potential to learn new skills by prematurely concluding they're not good at something.
  • Dispelling the ability to learn and improve can be a significant barrier to personal and professional growth.

And that's why people spend so long in the beginner stage, is because they inherently dispel away their ability to learn and get better because they. Well, I'm not good at that. Well, obviously you're not good at that. You have not done it.

This quote discusses how self-doubt and a fixed mindset keep individuals in the beginner stage because they dismiss their ability to improve before even attempting to learn.

Personal Experience with Math

  • The speaker shares a personal anecdote about overcoming a self-imposed belief of being bad at math.
  • By challenging themselves to do mental math without a calculator, the speaker gradually improved.
  • The speaker's experience with math in education and standardized tests like the SAT and GMAT reflects a journey from self-doubt to excellence.
  • Hard work and dedication, as shown by the speaker's rigorous study routine, can lead to significant improvement and high achievement.

And I studied so much harder on the math for the GMAT, and I ended up doing hitting 99th percentile on it. But that was because I did 16 phone books of problems over four months. I spent 4 hours a day for four months. I was like, I will do so much work that would be unreasonable for me to not be good at this.

This quote illustrates the speaker's intense commitment to improving at math for the GMAT exam, leading to exceptional results, and serves as an example of how dedication can overcome initial weaknesses.

Encouragement and Motivation

  • The speaker encourages listeners to try new things and invest in their skills, regardless of initial performance.
  • Allowing oneself to be "reasonably bad" at something is a part of the learning process.
  • The amount of time and effort put into learning a skill should eventually lead to proficiency.

I hope that if there's something that you want to acquire from a skill standpoint, that you allow yourself to be reasonably bad ad until a point where it would be unreasonable for you to be ad given the amount of time and effort you've put into it.

This quote motivates listeners to permit themselves to be novices at the beginning and to continue working until their efforts yield skillfulness, reinforcing the growth mindset philosophy.

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