In a candid conversation, the host and their guest discuss life-changing decisions, personal growth, and the pursuit of joy. The guest, once a management consultant, shares their journey of self-discovery, which involved leaving a lucrative job and familial expectations behind to seek genuine happiness. They reflect on the pressure to achieve societal and paternal approval and the realization that most decisions are inconsequential in the grand scheme of life. This epiphany led to a more present-focused, joy-oriented approach, culminating in their decision to abandon a predestined path and start anew in the fitness industry. The discussion also touches on the fleeting nature of legacy and the freedom found in recognizing the impermanence of life, ultimately encouraging listeners to live authentically and joyfully in the present.
"I can either die to myself or I can die to my father. And at the end of the day, I have to survive."
This quote emphasizes the speaker's internal conflict between their own desires and their father's expectations, leading to a life-changing decision prioritizing their own survival and happiness.
"So only child raised by a single father, middle Eastern. He was born in Iran, and everything in my life up until that point was really just to make him proud."
This quote provides context on the speaker's upbringing and cultural influences that shaped their drive for parental approval and the subsequent personal crisis they faced.
"It looks like a smiley face. So seven year olds think they're killing life, and then it drops dramatically between 20 and 30, and then there's still a little bit more of a dip right around 45."
This quote explains the general trend of subjective well-being throughout the lifespan, highlighting the periods of life where individuals often reassess their happiness and life choices.
"Mortality has been the single biggest driver and the biggest decisions that I've made in my life."
The quote reveals that the speaker's major life decisions have been heavily influenced by their awareness of mortality, which has served as a tool for making clear and independent choices.
"And then you get to your twenty s and thirty s, and the rubber hits the road a little bit. And if you've made money, I guess, and if that's your sign of success, then you're okay."
This quote from Speaker B outlines the shift from childhood freedom to the adult realities of societal expectations, particularly around success and financial stability.
"But if you just look at expanding the time horizon over a much longer period of time, if you look at it in 10,000 years, or 100,000 years or a million years...I don't even remember the man's name, nor do I have any piece of that legacy."
This quote illustrates Speaker A's viewpoint that the concept of legacy loses its importance when examined over a very long time span, as even significant legacies can be forgotten or lost.
"When the revolution happened in Iran...Government just says, those are ours now. That's it. There's your legacy gone."
Speaker A uses the Iranian revolution as an example of how quickly and easily a legacy can be dismantled, emphasizing the fragility of legacies.
"And I think on a long enough time horizon, we're all screwed. And I think in some ways people find that incredibly disheartening. But an equal opposite is you can't find it both disheartening and also not freeing..."
Speaker A suggests that while the idea that everything is temporary can be disheartening, it also provides freedom from societal expectations and pressures.
"That advice is good because it helps us live in the moment, because even if you believe in something after, that's still in the future, and there's a question mark because no one actually knows with knowledge what happens or if something happens."
Speaker B agrees with Speaker A, noting that focusing on the present is beneficial because the future is uncertain and unknowable.
"An interesting one that I thought through around that was a lot of us, not a lot of us, all of us have 100% experience not being alive...And so I would imagine that that's the closest experience that we can have to not being alive yet again, which to me is not that frightening."
Speaker A reflects on the concept of non-existence before birth to rationalize the lack of fear toward non-existence after death.
"And now I contemplated I had to die to my father or die to myself. And I realized that I would rather die to him, which pretty much ended up happening."
Speaker A discusses the difficult choice between following their father's wishes or pursuing their own interests, ultimately choosing the latter and facing the consequences.
"I ended up quitting that job, sold everything I had, packed my car, went to California, because that's where I thought the land of fitness opportunity was, because that was the only thing I really enjoyed."
This quote describes Speaker A's decision to pursue their passion for fitness by moving to California, illustrating a personal commitment to living in the present and following one's joy.
Started my first facility, slept on the floor for the first nine months, which was a very terrible experience for me.
This quote highlights the challenging beginnings of Speaker A's entrepreneurial journey, emphasizing the sacrifices made during the initial phase of starting their business.
And that was really at the time. And all of this kind of, it was at a splitting point where I had done two years and the kind of career path traditionally is like two to four years of management consulting, and then you go back to an Ivy League for your GMAT, and then from there you can go do investment banking, you can do private equity, you can do some of the bigger white collar jobs.
Speaker A explains their decision to diverge from the traditional career path in consulting and finance, opting instead to start their own venture.
And I figured I would learn more in the first two years and with that money and maybe even have a business by the end of that period of time that made an equivalent amount of money compared to what I would have had as a job offer.
Speaker A rationalizes their choice to pursue entrepreneurship by comparing the potential learning and earnings to what they would have achieved through traditional employment.
Hey guys, real quick, if you're new to the podcast, I have a book on Amazon. It's called 100 million dollar offers. At over 8005 star reviews, it has almost a perfect score.
Speaker A promotes their book, highlighting its success and positive reception as a way to build rapport with the podcast audience.
You can get it for $0.99 on Kindle. The reason I bring it up is that I put over 1000 hours into writing that book and it's my biggest give to our community.
Speaker A emphasizes the effort put into the book and its affordability, positioning it as a significant contribution to their community.
I mean, at first, I was driven by fear, okay? It was all fear. Fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of other people's judgment.
Speaker A acknowledges that fear was a major factor influencing their early career decisions.
He thought he was stupid. He thought I was wasting my life and wasted a degree that he had spent money on and wasted a good job opportunity that he had set up for me.
Speaker A recounts their father's reaction to their entrepreneurial pursuit, highlighting the generational and cultural clash in attitudes toward career and risk.
My dad came here with $1,000 and a medical degree. And then built everything. Didn't even speak English.
This quote illustrates the challenges Speaker A's father overcame as an immigrant, setting a backdrop for Speaker A's own journey and the contrast between their starting points.
I mean, I speak English. Just the basics. Like, I speak English. I went to a good school, just all the support, infrastructure, known and unknown that was around me to be successful.
Speaker A recognizes the privileges they had, such as language proficiency and educational opportunities, which contributed to their success.
The biggest thing that made the decision for me, I would say I had the logical decision, and then I had the emotional decision. The emotional decision was, I don't want to do this. This is not the life I want to lead.
Speaker A describes the emotional reasoning behind their career choice, emphasizing the desire for a life aligned with personal happiness and fulfillment.
If I would prefer to not be alive, then that kind of opens up my decision calculus.
Speaker A candidly shares the depth of their unhappiness in their previous career, which profoundly influenced their decision to change paths.
I didn't know what made me happy. I knew what was not making me happy.
This quote emphasizes the speaker's journey in understanding their own happiness, where they start by identifying what does not bring them joy.
Okay. So I think that's another important lesson, too. If I can just extract them, I'm sure a lot of people watching, they feel the same kind of family pressure.
Speaker B highlights the lesson of navigating through family expectations and the importance of context when considering life choices.
And as a side to what you were saying about my dad, education saved his life.
Speaker A reflects on the significance of education in their father's life, acknowledging its profound impact while also recognizing its different relevance in their own life.
And when we did come to terms later, the only time he's ever apologized to me in my life and said, but to be fair, in my time, I would have been right.
The quote captures a moment of reconciliation and understanding between Speaker A and their father, highlighting the generational differences in perspective.
I love the saying, in our 20s, we're concerned about what everyone thinks about us. In our 40s, we don't care what anyone thinks about us. And in our 60s, we realize that no one was thinking about us to begin with.
This quote reflects on the changing nature of self-consciousness and the freedom that comes with the realization that others' opinions are not as pervasive as one might think.
And I continue to unlearn rules that I thought existed as I continue to go on this journey.
Speaker A conveys the ongoing process of challenging and discarding preconceived notions and societal expectations in pursuit of personal fulfillment.
Well, if I wanted to destroy my life, I wanted to have the worst life possible, what would I do?
The quote presents a thought experiment that encourages reversing negative scenarios to find pathways to a more joyful and fulfilling life.
I'm remembering this Picasso quote, which is, I think he said, everyone is born an artist.
Speaker B shares Picasso's perspective on the intrinsic creativity in everyone and the challenge of reclaiming that creativity amidst societal influences.