Why Being A High Growth Entrepreneur Can Be Lonely 😢 Ep 86

Summary Notes


In a candid discussion, the host reflects on the inherent loneliness of entrepreneurship, drawing from personal experiences and a poignant story from their youth to illustrate the challenges of constant change and growth. They emphasize how society's desire for consistency conflicts with the entrepreneurial spirit, where growth and adaptation are essential. The host also touches on the difficulty of maintaining friendships, as many people prefer the comfort of stagnation over the discomfort of innovation. They advocate for involving one's spouse in the business to foster shared growth and underscore the importance of aligning with like-minded, growth-oriented individuals. The host's message is one of reassurance to fellow entrepreneurs who may feel isolated in their journey, assuring them that prioritizing growth, even at the expense of social ties, is both necessary and acceptable.

Summary Notes

Personal Growth and Change

  • Speaker A reflects on an interaction with their stepsister that highlighted the perception of change.
  • They discuss the societal preference for consistency and how it conflicts with the nature of growth.
  • Speaker A realizes that growth is often seen negatively as inconsistency, rather than positively as evolution.

"And so it went from being a positive trait, which is how we, as entrepreneurs see it, growth, right. Versus what most people see it as, which is just like, you're not consistent, right? Like, you're constantly changing."

The quote emphasizes the dichotomy between the entrepreneurial view of change as growth and the general societal view that favors consistency over change. It underscores the misunderstanding that can arise when personal development is mistaken for inconsistency.

Entrepreneurship and Loneliness

  • Speaker A discusses why being an entrepreneur can be a lonely experience.
  • They suggest that fitness entrepreneurs might feel this more acutely.
  • The entrepreneurial journey often starts with self-improvement, leading to personal transformation.

"But why being an entrepreneur is lonely is that inherently. And I think that fitness entrepreneurs have this even more so than anyone."

This quote introduces the theme of loneliness in entrepreneurship, suggesting that the personal growth journey can isolate entrepreneurs, especially those in the fitness industry, from others who may not understand or relate to their constant evolution.

The Entrepreneurial Journey

  • The entrepreneurial journey often begins with a focus on self-improvement.
  • Speaker A describes the process of learning, acquiring new skills, and undergoing a transformation.
  • This personal transformation can lead to sharing knowledge and skills with others, potentially leading to a business venture.

"And so the first thing that you really think about is, like, physically, you're like, man, I feel like crap. I need to get in shape, right? And so you start going down that path, and what inevitably happens is you go through your own transformation."

The quote details the initial steps of the entrepreneurial journey, which starts with a personal realization and the pursuit of self-improvement. It highlights the transformative nature of entrepreneurship, which often begins with an individual's desire to change themselves before seeking to change or impact others.

Personal Growth Through Fitness and Entrepreneurship

  • Fitness is often the first area where individuals experience personal transformation and develop passion.
  • Entrepreneurs typically start their journey of personal growth with their physical health before moving on to mental and business development.
  • The growth process can be lonely because it involves constant innovation and facing new challenges, which not everyone does.

"And so we, as entrepreneurs started, or fitness entrepreneurs, start this path of personal growth first with our bodies, and then we continue to hone our minds and get into the business world, et cetera."

This quote emphasizes the typical progression of personal growth for fitness entrepreneurs, beginning with physical fitness and expanding to other areas of life, including business.

The Loneliness of Entrepreneurship

  • Entrepreneurship can be a solitary journey because it requires continuous growth; something that not everyone pursues.
  • Many people remain in the same life situations, repeating the same problems and expressing discontent with their lives.
  • Entrepreneurs have a low tolerance for stagnation and discomfort, preferring to associate with others who are also focused on growth.

"But the thing is that the reason it's so hard to have friends... is that most people don't grow straight up. Most people don't grow. Most people don't innovate."

This quote captures the idea that the difficulty in forming friendships as an entrepreneur stems from the lack of growth and innovation in others, which can lead to a disconnect in values and ambitions.

Business Growth Tied to Personal Development

  • Entrepreneurs are forced to grow because their businesses demand it; if the entrepreneur doesn't grow, neither will the business.
  • Realizing that business limitations often reflect personal skill deficits can be a catalyst for personal development.
  • The speaker expresses a sense of isolation, having very few friends and minimal in-person interactions, highlighting the solitary nature of entrepreneurship.

"Like, you have no choice if you own a business, but to grow, because if you don't grow, the business won't grow, right?"

This quote illustrates the direct relationship between personal growth and business success, suggesting that the growth of the business is contingent on the entrepreneur's ability to develop and acquire new skills.

Involving Spouses in the Business

  • The speaker advocates for entrepreneurs to involve their spouses in their businesses to create a shared environment of high growth.
  • Being part of the same "high growth incubator" allows couples to grow together, which can strengthen the relationship.
  • The rationale behind involving spouses is to prevent the entrepreneur from evolving in isolation and to maintain alignment with their partner.

"And so to go back to the title, why being an entrepreneur is lonely is that most people, a don't grow. And second, if they do grow, people don't grow at the same rates."

This quote ties back to the theme of loneliness in entrepreneurship, attributing it to the lack of personal growth in others and the differing rates at which people grow, which can lead to a sense of isolation for the entrepreneur.

Entrepreneurial Growth and Loneliness

  • Entrepreneurial growth can lead to surpassing peers in business development.
  • Stagnation in business can create awkward dynamics in relationships.
  • Entrepreneurship involves continuous evolution and confronting challenges.
  • Identity in business is fluid and must adapt to what the business requires.
  • Growth can lead to feelings of loneliness due to the dynamic nature of entrepreneurship.

"neur friends when I got into the entrepreneur space who are still at the same level of business that they were when I met them. And in some ways, it's, like, awkward."

This quote illustrates the speaker's experience of outgrowing their entrepreneurial peers and the ensuing awkwardness that can arise from differing levels of business development.

"And so maybe it's like, why being an entrepreneur and why being a high growth entrepreneur is lonely is that you continue to evolve."

This quote highlights the speaker's belief that the continuous evolution inherent in entrepreneurship can contribute to a sense of loneliness.

Identity and Adaptability in Business

  • The concept of identity in business should be broken to allow for adaptability.
  • Entrepreneurs need to become what their business needs for the next step in growth.
  • Fluidity in identity is essential for meeting the changing demands of a growing business.

"You have to break the concept of your identity because it's fluid, it's dynamic. You need to become whatever the business needs you to become for that next step."

This quote emphasizes the need for entrepreneurs to let go of a fixed identity and be willing to adapt to the changing needs of their business.

Community Building and Growth Orientation

  • Creating a growth-oriented environment is key for entrepreneurial success.
  • The speaker's company, gym launch, emphasizes the core tenet of "grow or die."
  • Strategic meetups and company culture can foster a sense of family among growth-minded individuals.
  • Growth orientation can lead to a divergence from those who do not share the same mindset, including family and friends.

"They all are growth oriented. I mean, one of the core tenets at gym launch, probably the one that is most frequently cited, is grow or die, right?"

This quote reflects the company's culture and the shared growth mindset of its members, which is central to their collective success.

"But sometimes they don't grow the way you do. And sometimes that can be awkward."

This quote acknowledges that not everyone, including family and friends, will grow in the same way or at the same pace, which can lead to awkwardness or separation.

The Distinction Between Alone and Lonely

  • There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely.
  • It is possible to be physically alone without feeling lonely, especially if one is content with their situation.
  • Entrepreneurship often involves periods of solitude, which can be embraced as part of the journey.

"I think there's a difference between being alone and being lonely."

This quote distinguishes between the physical state of being alone and the emotional state of feeling lonely, implying that the latter is not an inevitable result of the former.

"And I'm okay with that."

This quote conveys the speaker's acceptance and comfort with being alone, suggesting it is a chosen and manageable aspect of their entrepreneurial life.

Personal Growth and Routine

  • Personal growth may require routines that aren't socially conducive.
  • Routine in diet and sleep is crucial for focus on business growth.
  • Social sacrifices are sometimes necessary to maintain growth-oriented routines.

"Like Layla and I pretty much calculate everything that we eat for all meals of every day. So if we go out, it's kind of a pain because I like having my routine, you know what I mean, from a food sample because that gives the attention back to focus on the business that I'm trying to grow."

This quote emphasizes the importance of maintaining a strict diet and routine to keep focus on personal goals, in this case, business growth.

Discipline in Time Management

  • Strict bedtime and waking hours are part of a disciplined routine.
  • Turning down social events can be a part of disciplined time management.
  • Early mornings are used productively to get a head start on the day.

"Like, Leila and I go to bed, we're like in bed at 845. Nine. I'm out by like 915, like cold. I woke up this morning at 230. I only need like 5 hours of sleep anyway."

The speaker details their disciplined sleep schedule and early rising, which are integral to their productivity and routine.

Acceptance of Social Sacrifice

  • It's acceptable to decline social invitations to stay true to personal growth paths.
  • Changing one's environment to fit personal growth needs is part of the journey.
  • Growing apart from people is a natural aspect of life and personal development.

"If someone wants to go to a restaurant and it's like 30 minutes away, they want to do the reservation at 715. I know that we're going to be done at 830. Maybe we'll do that one, but that probably won't get served by until like eight. We'll be done at 830. We drive back, it's nine, and then we decompress. Whatever. I don't know. Probably won't do it."

The speaker illustrates a scenario where social activities conflict with their routine and are likely to be turned down in favor of maintaining their growth-focused lifestyle.

Reassurance and Support for Personal Choices

  • It's okay to prioritize personal growth even if it means less social interaction.
  • Being in a high-growth environment requires control and focus.
  • The speaker offers reassurance that these choices are fine and part of the entrepreneurial journey.

"It's okay to grow, and it's okay to fall apart from people. It happens. It's part of life."

This quote provides reassurance that personal growth can lead to drifting apart from others and that it's a natural and acceptable part of life.

Reflection on Relationships and Growth

  • Personal growth may lead to a desire for different qualities in friends.
  • It's not always possible to have old friends grow with you.
  • Accepting that relationships can drift apart is part of personal evolution.

"Maybe it's not that you wish you were still friends with that person because reality would mean is that because you don't actually wish you were the person who's still friends with that person, you really wish that that person would have grown with you to be the friend that you need them to be now, right?"

The speaker reflects on the nature of wishing to maintain friendships, suggesting that sometimes the wish is for the person to have grown alongside you, rather than maintaining the friendship as it was.

Encouragement and Community Love

  • The speaker expresses love and appreciation for their community.
  • Encouragement is given to pursue dreams and goals relentlessly.
  • The importance of loving one's work and community is highlighted for a fulfilling journey.

"I love you guys. I love this community so much."

This quote shows the speaker's affection for their community, which provides a support system amidst the sacrifices made for personal growth.

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