Why 85YearOld You Doesn't Care About Sht Ep 544

Summary Notes


In this podcast, the host discusses the importance of building genuine confidence through evidence of achievements rather than relying on external validation. He reflects on his own journey, emphasizing the significance of transferring specific confidence from one domain to another to create a broader sense of self-assurance. By drawing parallels between past successes and new challenges, he illustrates how to cultivate a resilient identity grounded in reality. The host also explores the concept of traits as skills that can be developed through repetition and the power of introspection in recognizing one's capabilities. He encourages listeners to value their own opinions over others', sharing insights on personal growth and the long-term perspective of self-acceptance.

Summary Notes

Acquiring Skills and Traits

  • To acquire a skill or trait, one must practice the associated actions repeatedly in relevant situations.
  • Consistent behavior in certain situations can help affirm whether one possesses a particular trait, such as patience.

"And so if I want to acquire skill or a trait, I have to look at what I have to do in the certain situation and then repeat that enough times that I can say, hey, you know what? In these types of situations, I tend to act this way, which means that I believe not. Am I patient or not that I'm pretty patient?"

This quote emphasizes the importance of deliberate practice and reflection in the development of skills and traits. It suggests that through repeated actions, one can assess and affirm the presence of a particular characteristic, such as patience.

Building Businesses and Documenting Journeys

  • The speaker is attempting to build a billion-dollar business with acquisition.com.
  • They express a desire for business magnates like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and Warren Buffett to have documented their journeys for others to learn from.
  • The speaker is documenting their own journey for the benefit of others.

"I'm trying to build a billion dollar thing with acquisition.com. I always wish bezos, musk, and Buffett had documented their journey. So I'm doing it for the rest of us."

The quote reveals the speaker's entrepreneurial ambition and their regret that leading business figures didn't document their paths to success. It highlights their intention to fill this gap by sharing their own experiences.

Personal Appearance and Perception

  • The speaker notes they often receive poor treatment due to their appearance, which they find oddly satisfying.
  • They mention an experiment where they observe how people's treatment of them changes once their success is revealed.
  • The speaker once did a photo shoot in a suit during their poorest time, reflecting on the "Art of War" principle of appearing strong when weak and vice versa.
  • They reject the need to conform to someone else's image of success, emphasizing authenticity.

"Yeah, one of those weird things that I kind of enjoy is that I walk into places looking the way I look, and I get treated poorly, like, plenty. And I just like. I kind of like it in a weird way, because if I do a lot of business anywhere, eventually they do find out. And then I like seeing who treated me well and who didn't before that point."

This quote illustrates the speaker's interest in observing how people's perceptions and treatment of them change based on their appearance and revealed success. It underscores their enjoyment of this social experiment.

Authenticity and Status

  • The speaker believes the best way to achieve status is through confidence, which comes from having proof of one's abilities.
  • They argue against the need for bravado or charisma, instead advocating for presenting factual achievements.
  • By presenting irrefutable evidence of one's accomplishments, one can confidently assert their identity and abilities.

"I think that the best way to have status is be confident. And I think the best way to be confident is to have proof."

This quote connects confidence with having tangible evidence of one's achievements, suggesting that true status comes from demonstrable competence rather than mere self-assertion.

Self-Perception and Identity

  • The speaker admits to being driven by insecurity rather than passion in the early days of their career.
  • They emphasize the importance of accumulating irrefutable proof of one's work to combat negative self-talk and secure one's identity.
  • The speaker uses their sales experience as an example of using quantifiable achievements to build self-confidence and identity.

"For me, I definitely have for sure been more insecurity driven than, like, passion driven, especially in the earlier days. And so if you have a lot of negative self talk, you want to give yourself irrefutable proof that you have done the type of work that the type of person you want to become does."

This quote reveals the speaker's personal struggles with self-doubt and the strategy they employed to overcome it. By focusing on factual accomplishments, they were able to construct a solid identity and self-belief.

Building Confidence from Experience

  • Confidence can be developed by recognizing and leveraging past experiences.
  • Even without direct experience in a new area, related skills can be transferred.
  • Confidence is built by breaking down experiences into transferable skills or traits.
  • The process involves "chunking up" a skill to a general level, then "chunking down" to apply it to a new context.

"But the reality is that you need to chunk down what the things you have."

The quote emphasizes the need to deconstruct one's experiences to identify skills that can be applied in new situations.

Transferring Specific Confidence to General Confidence

  • People often have confidence in specific domains, such as being good at video games.
  • The goal is to transfer domain-specific confidence to a broader context.
  • General confidence is acquired by repeatedly applying specific skills to new areas.
  • This transfer of confidence is a step-by-step process.

"And so the more times you make that transfer, the more generalized your skill set becomes."

This quote highlights the importance of repeatedly applying specific skills to new areas to develop a more generalized skill set and confidence.

Introspection and Skill Acquisition

  • Confidence in certain areas can be traced back to repeated practice and familiarity.
  • By doing more of a particular activity, one can improve and gain confidence.
  • The Chinese proverb "everything must be hard before it can be easy" reflects this idea.
  • Even character traits can be viewed and developed as skills through repetition.

"I think it was just introspection of, like, why am I confident at these things and not confident at these other things?"

This quote reflects the speaker's self-reflection on their confidence levels in different areas, leading to the understanding that confidence comes from practice.

Character Traits as Skills

  • Traits such as patience can be developed like skills through consistent practice.
  • By exposing oneself to similar conditions and altering behavior, one can cultivate a desired trait.
  • Repeated behavior in specific situations leads to the development of consistent responses, which can be seen as traits.

"Like, how is someone patient? Well, they do this thing, which means that if I present someone with a similar condition over and over again, and then they change their behavior, then they have become patient, which means that a trait is a skill, which means it can be learned."

The quote explains how traits are developed through consistent behavior in response to recurring conditions, reinforcing the idea that traits are learnable skills.

The Importance of Word of Mouth for Podcast Growth

  • The podcast relies on word of mouth for its growth.
  • The speaker does not use ads, sponsorships, or sales, instead asking listeners to share the podcast.
  • The success and reach of the podcast are attributed to the audience's recommendations.

"Real quick, guys, if you can think about how you found this podcast, somebody probably tweeted it, told you about it, shared it on Instagram or something like that. The only way this grows is through word of mouth."

This quote is a call to action for listeners to share the podcast, highlighting the reliance on organic growth through personal recommendations.

Entrepreneurial Mindset and Personal Growth

  • Emphasizing the importance of actions over words for proving one's patience and growth.
  • The concept of human behavior as a response to conditions and the need for training desired responses.
  • The idea of improving skills through repeated exposure and practice.
  • Using past achievements as evidence to build confidence for future endeavors.
  • The belief that confidence is synonymous with being secure in one's identity.

"And the longer I continue to act that way, the more patient I can say I am and have proof that I am because of what I've done, not because of what I say."

This quote highlights the significance of actions in demonstrating personal qualities such as patience, rather than just verbal claims.

"Fundamentally, everything is human behavior in response to conditions."

This quote underscores the speaker's view that human behavior is fundamentally a reaction to external stimuli.

"It's just stimulus response. And so if we want to have a different response or basket of responses, then we need to train that response with repeated exposure to the same stimulus."

The speaker is explaining the concept of conditioning and how repeated exposure to a stimulus can train a person to respond in a desired manner.

"I've built a company to 100 billion before, so how do I build one to a billion? Well, do I know I can build it to a billion? I'm confident I can, because I haven't done it yet, but I have evidence that I've done this."

This quote demonstrates the use of past successes as a foundation for confidence in achieving future goals.

"And I think that when I'm 70, I'll be more confident than I am now. And confident, said differently, is just secure in who I am."

The speaker anticipates personal growth and an increase in confidence as they become more secure in their identity with age.

Self-Reliance and Integrity

  • The importance of self-approval over seeking validation from others.
  • Upholding personal integrity by living up to one's rational principles.
  • The notion that one's own witness to their actions and character is sufficient.

"You compromise your integrity when you seek outside approval. Be satisfied that you live up to your rational principles. Be your own witness if you need one."

This quote, attributed to Epictetus, emphasizes the value of self-reliance and integrity over the pursuit of external validation.

"Because they would not have nearly the context I have, because I lived it."

The speaker argues that personal experience provides context that others cannot match, reinforcing the value of one's own judgment.

"And so your opinion of you should always have the highest standing."

This quote stresses the importance of valuing one's own opinion above others when it comes to self-assessment.

Confidence and Social Judgment

  • Building confidence by valuing one's own opinion more than that of others.
  • The irrelevance of others' judgments on personal choices, such as clothing.
  • Reflecting on the minimal impact that the opinions of others truly have on one's life.

"A lot of the path of building confidence is simply, over time, valuing your opinion more than other people's."

The speaker suggests that growing confidence is a process that involves increasingly prioritizing one's own viewpoint.

"Like, the shoes I wear look probably not fashionable. How much do I care what other people think about the clothing that I wear, that they're not wearing it?"

The speaker uses personal clothing choices as an example of disregarding societal judgments to maintain individuality and practicality.

"A lot of times, it's like, deflecting people's judgments on you that why would I care? What weight does their opinion have on my life at all?"

This quote conveys the speaker's attitude of indifference towards others' opinions and the limited effect they have on personal decisions.

Evaluating Criticism and Personal Growth

  • Recognize if criticism has elements of truth and address it if necessary.
  • Disregard criticism that lacks truth and does not contribute to personal growth.
  • Personal growth may involve rebellion against unhelpful advice.

"If people say things to you and you don't like what they're saying. Question is, is there elements of truth to what they're saying? If there is, fix it. If there isn't, then learn nothing from it."

The quote emphasizes the importance of assessing criticism for truth and using it as a basis for self-improvement if valid, or disregarding it if not.

Valuing One's Own Opinion

  • Importance of valuing one's opinion over others, especially fictitious or arbitrary third parties.
  • The tendency to replay a few voices in one's head that may not reflect reality or others' true thoughts.
  • The process of choosing whose opinions to prioritize in life, often leading to self-empowerment.

"And usually it's one to three voices that I play over and over again in my head. And those people don't even know that I'm playing their voice in my head and then wondering and asking myself, do I want this fictitious version of this person's voice to be the main thing that directs my life, that gives a lot of power to this person."

This quote discusses the internal struggle of giving importance to certain voices or opinions and the realization that these may not be as influential or accurate as one believes.

Building and Merging Identity

  • The process of building one's identity based on the type of person one aspires to be.
  • The eventual convergence of one's ideal self and actual self through consistent behavior aligned with one's values.
  • Being aware of and managing the influence of external judgments and criticisms.

"And so then it continually, brick by brick, continue to build the identity of the type of man I want to listen to and try and act in accordance with what I think that guy would do."

The quote illustrates the deliberate effort to construct an identity that aligns with one's aspirations and values.

Perspective of the Elderly Self

  • Imagining one's elderly self to gain perspective on current issues and stressors.
  • The elderly often exhibit a lack of concern for trivial matters, suggesting a shift in priorities over time.
  • The importance of self-acceptance and its role in becoming a content and agreeable older person.
  • Using the imagined perspective of one's elderly self to find answers to current problems.

"I think about a lot of frames a lot. One of them is that none of it's going to matter, but the other frame is like, 85 year old me doesn't care about a lot of shit."

This quote reflects on the idea that many of life's concerns may seem insignificant from the perspective of one's older self, suggesting a more relaxed approach to current worries.

Decision-Making and Long-Term Perspective

  • Reducing pressure in life can lead to better decision-making.
  • Focusing on one's long-term goals rather than short-term comparisons with others.
  • The concept that the person with the longest time horizon in their planning often prevails.
  • Acceptance that in the grand scheme, many current concerns will not be significant.

"And then always remembering that the person with the longest time horizon wins? Because there are people who are ahead of me now who on a longer time horizon, it doesn't matter."

The quote conveys the idea that success and fulfillment are better measured by long-term achievements rather than short-term victories or comparisons.

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