The Hormozis Love Logically and Go All In (on Lifestyle Builders Podcast) Sept. '18 Ep 404



In a candid conversation with hosts Tom and Ariana, entrepreneurial couple Alex and Leila Ormosi share insights into their unique marriage and business partnership. Despite their young age and relatively short marriage, they've found success by intertwining their personal and professional lives, with a mutual passion for business acting as the foundation of their relationship. They discuss the importance of honest communication, structured routines, and aligning business principles with relationship management. The Ormosis emphasize the need for transparency and the willingness to work on the relationship as diligently as one would on a business, highlighting that their similarities have streamlined their collaboration and roles within the company. They advocate for a personalized approach to marriage and entrepreneurship, debunking the one-size-fits-all model and encouraging others to define their paths based on individual strengths and shared goals.

Summary Notes

Introduction to Alex and Leila Ormosi's Unique Marriage and Business Partnership

  • Alex and Leila Ormosi discuss their marriage and business partnership on a podcast.
  • They acknowledge their marriage may be atypical and stress that their advice is based on personal experience.
  • The couple met in a business context, which shaped the foundation of their relationship.
  • They run their marriage with a unique dynamic, incorporating business principles.

"Mozanation. Four years ago, Leila and I did a podcast...we met pretty much under a business context...we run our marriage a little bit uniquely."

This quote introduces the context of Alex and Leila's relationship, emphasizing that it began and operates under business-like conditions, which may not be common for everyone.

The Development of Love and Relationship atop a Business Foundation

  • Leila describes how their love grew intentionally after focusing on their business relationship.
  • The couple applied business principles such as communication, cadence, and organization to their personal relationship.

"We loved each other, but it was not like we weren't in love until we intentionally went all in on the relationship...How do you build a relationship on top of a business?"

Leila explains that love in their relationship evolved with intention and effort, similar to how one would nurture a business.

Application of Business Strategies to Personal Relationships

  • Alex and Leila Ormosi advocate for applying business strategies to strengthen personal relationships.
  • They emphasize the importance of clear roles and responsibilities, both in business and marriage.
  • The couple encourages open communication about each other's desires and needs.

"Relationship, the same thing even with roles, roles and responsibilities within the business and then roles and responsibilities within the relationship."

Alex Ormosi highlights the parallels between managing a business and a relationship, suggesting that clarity in roles and expectations is vital in both areas.

The Importance of Open Communication and Logical Love

  • Alex Ormosi discusses the concept of "loving logically" and the benefits of a relationship grounded in friendship rather than just emotion.
  • The couple believes in the importance of expressing one's desires without fear of judgment.
  • They share the unusual story of their quick decision to marry, which was not based on romance but on a mutual understanding and friendship.

"But then when the other person doesn't know what's ideal...I'd be like, sure, just give me the cheat codes."

This quote from Alex Ormosi emphasizes the significance of communicating one's needs and desires openly in a relationship to ensure mutual understanding and fulfillment.

Rapid Decision-Making Based on Information, Not Time

  • Alex and Leila Ormosi discuss their belief that quality information, rather than the length of time, is key to making good decisions.
  • They reflect on their quick decision to get married, which was based on having sufficient information about each other.

"But we're big believers that you don't need time. You need information to make decisions."

Alex Ormosi conveys the idea that informed decisions are not necessarily time-dependent, suggesting that understanding each other well can lead to confident and rapid decision-making in relationships.

Ideal Day and Inclusion of Partner

  • Discussing the concept of an 'ideal every day' and the importance of including a partner's needs and desires.
  • Emphasizing the need for clear communication between partners to understand each other's ideal scenarios.
  • Recognizing that partners cannot read minds, hence the importance of expressing desires and expectations.

"So if you say, like, oh, I want this, or, I want such and such, but you don't include, I want my husband to, or I want my wife to, they aren't going to know if you don't make the ask."

This quote highlights the necessity of explicitly communicating one's needs and desires to their partner to ensure mutual understanding and fulfillment in the relationship.

Applying Business Principles to Relationships

  • Transferring business strategies to relationship management.
  • The importance of having structures and communication cadences in place to support a successful relationship.

"Because I took a lot of the business experience I had and brought it into our relationship. And like you guys mentioned the cadence and the communication that has just made everything else so much easier because most people think, well, we fall in love, and it all just works. It's like, no, well, you've got to have the structures and some of those things in place to support you in making it work."

This quote explains how the application of business principles, such as structured communication, can enhance relationship dynamics and lead to more effective partnership management.

Personal Practices to Balance Business Growth

  • Implementing personal routines to prevent business from overtaking personal life.
  • Sharing gratitude and daily goals as a couple.
  • Scheduling workouts and meals together to ensure quality time.
  • Establishing a cut-off time for work to prioritize the relationship.

"First thing is in the morning we have our coffee together and we write down the three things we're grateful for and the three things we do to be a better person that day. And we usually share those with each other."

This quote illustrates a daily practice aimed at fostering connection and personal growth within the relationship, emphasizing the importance of starting the day with shared positive intentions.

Maintaining Relationship Quality Amidst Fast Business Growth

  • Delegation and skill development as strategies to manage increasing business demands.
  • The decision to stop working after dinner to prioritize the relationship.
  • The challenge of advising entrepreneurs who don't work with their spouses, due to the integral nature of the couple's joint business and personal life.

"Where there is so much work to do that one person will make no dent in it. And so at that point, it's like, what things can we delegate? What things, what skills can we teach other people so that we don't need to be the one doing."

This quote addresses the necessity of delegation and teaching skills to others as a means to manage workload and maintain relationship quality when a business is growing rapidly.

The Role of Chemistry and Shared Interests in Relationships

  • The belief that chemistry can be developed through repeated actions.
  • The significance of shared interests, such as fitness, in building and maintaining a connection between partners.

"We really made sense on paper. And then we just believed that chemistry could be created with repeated action. Right? But we both liked fitness."

This quote suggests that a relationship can start with logical compatibility and that chemistry can be cultivated over time through shared activities and interests, using the couple's mutual interest in fitness as an example.

Shared Background and Compatibility

  • Alex Ormosi and his wife have similar backgrounds, both of Persian descent and experienced a transition from being raised by their mothers to their fathers.
  • They share common interests in business and fitness, making their relationship and conversations flow easily.
  • Their similarities make their relationship seem logical and effortless to outsiders.

"We both liked business. We were both Persian. We both had the exact same life story in terms of, she was raised by a single dad. The second half of her life had a lot of basically transitioned from being raised by her mom to being raised by her dad, which is the exact same story I had at the same age, which is kind of nuts."

This quote highlights the commonalities between Alex and his wife, emphasizing how their shared experiences and interests contribute to their compatibility.

Integrating Business and Personal Life

  • Alex and his wife see no distinction between business and personal life, discussing business at dinner and finding it exciting and creative.
  • They reject the idea of limiting conversation topics, as their business and life missions are intertwined.
  • They find discussing business more stimulating than mundane topics and enjoy the high-level conversations it entails.

"Some people don't talk about business at dinner. That's bullshit. That's like our lives. What else?" "It's hard to go from driving like a NASCAR to going to riding a moped. And that's what I feel like when we talk about other conversation topics."

Alex criticizes the notion of avoiding business talk in personal settings and expresses how engaging in business discussions is much more thrilling than other topics.

Entrepreneurial Relationships

  • Entrepreneurs often find partners who share their passion for business, leading to integrated personal and professional lives.
  • The enjoyment of their work blurs the line between work and leisure, making entrepreneurial life a daily pursuit of passion.
  • Couples in business together often find themselves discussing everything openly, from business to family, without strict boundaries.

"What we found is that we kind of have all these couples gravitate to us. And a lot of it's because, just like you guys said, they're so integrated to each other."

This quote reflects the tendency of entrepreneurial couples to form close-knit relationships where business and personal life are deeply interconnected.

Challenging Conventional Boundaries

  • The speakers challenge the stigma of separating business from personal life, advocating for a fluid approach to conversations and activities.
  • They encourage following one's instincts in relationships and having open discussions about expectations with partners.
  • The speakers suggest that routines and rigid structures are not necessary and that flexibility can be beneficial.

"I mean, I love that you guys say that unapologetically because I think there is this kind of stigma about, like, oh, well, you should separate your business and your life."

This quote acknowledges the societal pressure to compartmentalize business and personal life, while also supporting the speakers' preference for an integrated approach.

Role Division in Business

  • Alex and his wife initially shared responsibilities but eventually divided roles to focus on their strengths.
  • Alex took on marketing and product creation, while his wife handled operations, despite not considering herself skilled in that area at first.
  • The division of roles was based on each person's strengths and the willingness to learn and adapt.

"The roles we used to share doing the same things, and then we divided roles. And it was basically like, alex is going to do the marketing and the face of the company and create the product. And then I was going to. In the beginning, I started the operations."

This quote details how Alex and his wife decided to split their business responsibilities, allowing each to focus on areas where they excel or have the potential to grow.

Division of Roles and Strengths

  • Alex Ormosi and his partner Leila have distinct roles within their company based on their individual strengths.
  • Leila's strength lies in dealing with people, while Alex focuses on the product aspect.
  • Mimi, Alex's sister-in-law and Leila's older sister, handles the process side as the COO.
  • Alex and Leila share the title of co-CEO, splitting the responsibilities according to their strengths.
  • They believe in leveraging their individual talents to fulfill the company's vision and ensure smooth operations.

Like my sister, for example, who's now our coo, and she does all that stuff. Right. And so I would say I took the strength that we both kind of had, which is like, vision.

This quote emphasizes the importance of recognizing and utilizing individual strengths within a team, particularly in leadership roles.

And so it really works. Like, layla is people, Mimi is process. And Alex is product.

This quote illustrates the clear division of roles based on individual expertise, which contributes to the effective management of the company.

And Layla and I share the title of CEO or co CEO because I think what we did is we took the role of CEO and kind of just split it.

This quote explains how Alex and Leila have divided the CEO role to capitalize on their respective strengths, an unconventional but personalized approach to leadership.

Work-Life Balance and Routine

  • Alex and Leila have adapted their working hours to fit their lifestyle, which they compare to their previous experience of working long hours in the gym business.
  • They emphasize the importance of establishing a routine and putting in the necessary work to make their relationship and business successful.
  • The couple has created a "choreographed morning" routine that has become second nature to them, highlighting the value of consistency and shared interests.

You get to the gym at 430 in the morning. Like, you get there at 430, and then your last client, you said 09:00. This feels like part time.

Alex compares their current work schedule to the demanding hours they used to keep in the gym business, suggesting that their current situation feels more balanced.

A leader of a company is supposed to create the vision and lead the people.

This quote summarizes one of the essential roles of a company leader, which is to establish and communicate the company's vision and guide the team.

You're sharing the CEO, the gym business, and we both were in that game.

The quote indicates that both Alex and Leila have experience in the gym business, which has informed their approach to sharing CEO responsibilities.

Relationship Dynamics and Transparency

  • Alex and Leila prioritize transparency and honesty in their relationship, which they believe is crucial for a successful partnership.
  • They worked on their relationship as diligently as they did on their business, which involved establishing routines and engaging in activities that strengthened their bond.
  • The couple acknowledges that being honest and addressing issues directly, even when painful, is essential for personal growth and a healthy relationship.

We're not in love because we're not 100% transparent with each other, so we should probably just be 100% honest, even if it hurts at times.

This quote stresses the importance of complete honesty and transparency in building a strong and loving relationship.

We read books, we watched movies. We started putting routine in place that we had never done before.

The couple shares how they actively worked on their relationship by incorporating shared activities and routines, similar to how they would strategize for their business.

Being honest, like, hey, I think you're a dick sometimes. And being, okay, where does that come from? Why did I act that way?

This quote highlights the necessity of confronting and discussing uncomfortable truths to understand and improve relationship dynamics.

Some people can't take criticism because they got other issues, but as long as you can take it and just know that both of you have the same goal, which is a good relationship, then.

Alex suggests that the ability to accept criticism is vital for personal and relationship growth, provided that both partners are committed to the same goal of a healthy relationship.

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