The Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! Dr Rena Malik

Dr. Reena Malik, a board-certified urologist and sexual health expert, discusses common myths and facts about sexual health, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's body and maintaining open communication in relationships. Key topics include the misconception about sexual frequency among couples, the benefits of pelvic floor exercises, and the role of masturbation in health. She highlights the lack of adequate sexual education and the impact of societal perceptions, particularly pornography, on sexual expectations. Dr. Malik advocates for accessible sexual health education to empower individuals and improve overall well-being.

• Frequent ejaculation, defined as 21 times or more a month, is linked to a reduced risk of developing prostate cancer.
• This statistic is presented by Dr. Reena Malik, a board-certified urologist and sexual health expert.

"Men who ejaculate 21 times or more a month are less likely to develop prostate cancer."

• This quote highlights the potential health benefit of frequent ejaculation in reducing prostate cancer risk.

• There is a common myth that other couples are having significantly more sex than the average couple.
• Studies indicate that people in partnered relationships have sex about once a week on average.
• The focus should be on the quality of sex rather than the frequency.

"People are having sex about once a week."

• This statement dispels the myth of frequent sexual activity among couples, emphasizing that once a week is average.

• Many individuals lack understanding of their bodies in relation to sexual health.
• Common misconceptions include the natural occurrence of erections at night and nocturnal emissions.
• Media often portrays unrealistic sexual scenarios, leading to misconceptions about normal sexual function.

"We have so much misunderstanding about one what is good sexual health."

• Dr. Malik stresses the widespread lack of understanding regarding sexual health and the myths perpetuated by media.

• The pelvic floor is crucial for various functions, including sexual function and stability.
• Weakness or dysfunction in the pelvic floor can lead to issues such as erectile dysfunction and urinary problems.
• Pelvic floor exercises can enhance sexual function and overall health.

"There's a whole host of issues that can come from having a weak pelvic floor including erectile dysfunction."

• This quote underscores the importance of pelvic floor health in preventing sexual dysfunction and other health issues.

• Doctors often do not inquire about sexual health issues, leaving patients feeling isolated in their concerns.
• Sexual health issues can have broader implications for mental health and relationships.
• Erectile dysfunction can be an early indicator of cardiovascular problems.

"People are not being asked about sexual function even when you go to see your primary doctor."

• This highlights the gap in communication between healthcare providers and patients regarding sexual health.

• Pain during sex is not normal and can be due to insufficient lubrication or inadequate foreplay.
• Lubricants can enhance sexual pleasure and reduce pain.
• Persistent pain should be evaluated by a healthcare professional to identify underlying causes.

"If it hurts you want to assess... is it that you're not lubricated enough is it that you have not had enough foreplay."

• Dr. Malik explains the common causes of pain during sex and the importance of addressing these issues.

• Open communication about sexual preferences and issues is crucial for a healthy sexual relationship.
• Miscommunication or lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction.
• Conversations about sex should occur outside the bedroom and be approached with sensitivity.

"You have to know what you like right you have to know what you want and you have to communicate it with your partner."

• This quote emphasizes the necessity of self-awareness and communication in achieving a fulfilling sexual relationship.

• Sexual desire can be spontaneous or responsive, with men often experiencing the former and women the latter.
• Understanding these differences can help address mismatched sexual desires in relationships.
• Responsive desire is common and normal, especially in long-term relationships.

"Desire comes in two flavors... spontaneous desire and responsive desire."

• Dr. Malik explains the different types of sexual desire, highlighting that both are normal and valid.

• Sexless relationships can develop gradually, often unnoticed until they become a significant issue.
• It's important to assess the importance of sex in the relationship and address any underlying issues.
• Open dialogue and professional help can be beneficial in rekindling intimacy.

"If you want to fight for that in your relationship it's going to take work and it's going to take buy-in on both sides."

• This quote underscores the effort and cooperation required to address and improve a sexless relationship.

• The idea of scheduling intimacy, not just sex, can help couples reconnect without pressure.
• Anticipation of scheduled intimacy can enhance excitement but can also cause anxiety if focused solely on sex.
• Removing expectations of sex can lead to a more relaxed and genuine connection.

"We're not going to just go have dinner and talk; we're going to literally be together, not have our phones with us, maybe touch each other, maybe get undressed, maybe just feel what it feels like, and that's it."

• This quote highlights the importance of being present and intimate without the pressure of having sex, which can foster a deeper connection.

• Testosterone is crucial for desire in both men and women; it's more prevalent in women than estrogen.
• Stress can lower testosterone levels by increasing cortisol, which inhibits testosterone production.
• Hormonal imbalances, such as thyroid or prolactin issues, can also affect libido.

"Testosterone is very important for desire in both men and women, but anything that interacts with testosterone is also important."

• This emphasizes the multifaceted nature of desire, involving not just testosterone but other hormones and stress levels.

• Sleep is essential for maintaining testosterone levels; poor sleep can significantly reduce testosterone.
• Resistance exercise, especially targeting large muscle groups, can boost testosterone.
• A balanced diet, particularly the Mediterranean diet, supports healthy testosterone levels.

"When you reduce the amount of sleep you have, for example, you sleep less than six, five, or six hours, you're going to have at least a 10 to 15% reduction in testosterone."

• This underscores the critical role of sleep in hormone regulation and overall health.

• Testosterone levels and sperm quality have been declining due to lifestyle changes and environmental factors.
• Sedentary lifestyles and metabolic conditions contribute to hormonal and reproductive health issues.
• Exposure to microplastics and endocrine-disrupting chemicals may also play a role.

"We're not only seeing a decline in testosterone levels, but we're seeing a decline in sperm quality and sperm numbers over the course of the last 50 years."

• This quote highlights the concerning trend of declining reproductive health metrics over decades.

• Fertility issues are increasingly common and can be linked to both male and female factors.
• Delayed childbearing and lifestyle factors contribute to fertility challenges.
• Sperm concentration, rather than volume, is a key indicator of fertility potential.

"About half of fertility is due to women, half fertility is due to men, and then some combination of the two."

• This points out the equal contribution of both genders to fertility issues, emphasizing a holistic approach to addressing them.

• Devices like phones and laptops can increase temperature around the genitals, affecting sperm production.
• Saunas and hot tubs can similarly impact sperm count due to increased temperatures.
• The potential impact of electromagnetic frequencies from devices remains uncertain.

"The testicles are in the scrotum for a reason; it's because they need this very perfect environment with this specific temperature to create sperm."

• This highlights the sensitivity of sperm production to temperature changes and environmental factors.

• Masturbation does not decrease testosterone levels; it can be part of a healthy routine.
• Over-reliance on masturbation, especially with specific stimuli, can affect sexual performance with partners.
• Orgasms can strengthen pelvic floor muscles, benefiting sexual health.

"If you're using it in terms of masturbating to get orgasm and the benefits of orgasm that I do achieve from that... I think the problem also comes in is when people only masturbate the same way every time."

• This discusses the importance of variety in sexual practices to prevent habituation and maintain healthy sexual function.

• Myths such as masturbation causing blindness or reducing testosterone are unfounded.
• Concepts like "No Nut November" can be more harmful than beneficial if they cause stress or guilt.
• Abstaining from ejaculation does not have proven benefits for athletic performance or mental clarity.

"There's no good data on this... some people do like when you're trying to... You're motivated to get a partner."

• This addresses the lack of scientific evidence supporting common myths and the individual variability in responses to abstaining from ejaculation.

• Post-nut clarity refers to the significant reduction in sexual desire following ejaculation, commonly experienced by men.
• Brain studies show that after orgasm, the brain activity reduces significantly, faster in men than women, possibly due to hormonal changes.
• Evolutionary theories suggest this mechanism prevents exhaustion and aids in sperm retention post-ejaculation.

"After ejaculation, your desire for the other person reduces quite significantly."

• This quote explains the phenomenon of post-nut clarity, highlighting the sudden change in desire.

"In women, it may take a little longer to get really quiet in men it happens very quickly."

• Indicates the gender difference in post-orgasmic brain activity and its impact on sexual desire.

• A study suggests men who ejaculate 21 times or more a month are less likely to develop prostate cancer.
• The prostate stagnation hypothesis explains that frequent ejaculation helps in replenishing and cleaning the prostate fluids.

"Men who ejaculated 21 times or more a month were less likely to develop prostate cancer."

• This quote highlights the potential health benefits of frequent ejaculation.

"There's a prostate stagnation hypothesis that the fluids that you know some of your ejaculate fluids come from the prostate."

• Explains the theory behind why frequent ejaculation might reduce prostate cancer risk.

• Pornography is viewed as entertainment but raises concerns about its impact on children and potential for addiction.
• Early exposure to pornography can affect children's understanding of sex and lead to addictive behaviors due to dopamine release.
• For adults, pornography can be a source of pleasure but can also lead to problematic use and shame cycles.

"The average age of a boy seeing pornography is 13."

• Highlights the concern of early exposure to pornography among children.

"It can become very addictive now as an adult I think it's different because you have a fully formed brain."

• Discusses the potential for addiction and the difference in impact between adults and children.

• Advances in virtual reality (VR) technology may change how people experience intimacy and could reduce real-life intimate relationships.
• VR can be used positively for desensitizing fears and aiding individuals with trauma-related intimacy issues.

"There's going to be so many people that are using that as a way to masturbate and to watch pornography."

• Expresses concern about VR technology potentially replacing real-life intimacy.

"You can actually desensitize yourself using these VR headsets and it can actually be very powerful."

• Highlights a positive application of VR technology in addressing fear and trauma.

• Trauma can have lasting effects on sexual health and function, often manifesting as pelvic floor dysfunction.
• Therapy can be crucial in resolving trauma and improving sexual health.

"When you have a trauma that's unresolved in some shape or form it will affect you whether it's your mental health your physiologic health."

• Emphasizes the importance of addressing trauma for overall health.

"Everybody should ideally see a sex therapist if it was available to everybody but it's not."

• Suggests the need for accessible therapy to address trauma-related sexual dysfunction.

• The clitoris is analogous to the penis and is key to female orgasm, with 85% of women needing clitoral stimulation to climax.
• Communication between partners is crucial to understanding and stimulating the clitoris effectively.

"The clitoris is like the penis... it becomes the clitoris and the clitoris actually then goes deep into the pelvis."

• Describes the anatomical and functional similarities between the clitoris and penis.

"85% of women need some form of clitoral stimulation to Climax."

• Highlights the importance of clitoral stimulation for female orgasm.

• An orgasm is a physiological and psychological experience involving maximal tension and release.
• It involves various physiological changes, and the path to orgasm can be a spectrum rather than a binary switch.

"An orgasm is a moment in time that is combined with a like a maximal tension and then a release."

• Defines what an orgasm is and its physiological characteristics.

"You're completely unable to think about anything else it is a very powerful pleasurable sensation."

• Describes the intense and all-consuming nature of an orgasm.

• Scheduling intimacy can reduce the stress associated with sexual encounters and improve sexual function.
• Mindfulness practices have been shown to improve sexual desire and function.

"Mindfulness practice leads to improved sexual function in terms of desire and other factors like arousal and lubrication and orgasm."

• Highlights the benefits of mindfulness on sexual health.

"Scheduling time for intimacy so because sex adds sort of like a level of stress."

• Suggests scheduling intimacy as a strategy to reduce stress and improve sexual experiences.

• The quality of a sexual experience is more important than its duration.
• People's perceptions of how long sex should last often differ from reality.
• Cultural differences may influence the average duration of sexual intercourse.

"If you have great sex and it takes 3 minutes, that's great, that's fine, but as long as it's great to both of you."

• The focus should be on mutual satisfaction rather than meeting a specific time benchmark.

"The average is about five something… when you look at like Turkey, it was like four minutes, and if you look at the UK, it was like 10 minutes."

• Cultural factors can influence the perceived and actual duration of sex.

• Vaginal size does not increase with sexual activity; it is affected by factors like childbirth and pelvic floor health.
• The myth that more sex leads to a "looser" vagina is false.

"The way that women's vaginas get if you want to say loose… is from having babies, having maybe neurologic conditions that affect the pelvic floor strength."

• Pelvic floor exercises, such as Kegel exercises, can strengthen the pelvic floor and address issues like stress incontinence and prolapse.

"The more orgasms a woman has, the stronger her pelvic floor is."

• Regular orgasms can contribute to pelvic floor strength.

• Pelvic floor health is essential for both men and women, affecting urinary control and sexual function.
• Symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction include leakage, prolapse in women, and reduced ejaculatory force in men.

"For like I said, the obvious ones for women are leakage… for weakness in men we don't often see as much."

• Pelvic floor exercises can help, and professional evaluation is recommended if issues persist.

"If you're having issues is to see a pelvic floor physical therapist… they're like the personal trainers for your pelvic floor."

• Professional guidance can provide targeted strategies for pelvic floor strengthening.

• Penis size is a common concern, often influenced by societal and media portrayals.
• Traction devices are the most reliable method for penile lengthening, although results are modest.

"The safest and most reliable way is using a traction device… you would have to use them for 6 to 8 hours a day for several months to see a 2cm increase in length."

• Surgical options exist but carry significant risks and are not generally advisable.

"Many of them either have a very high complication rate… or risks that I would say are probably not advisable for most people."

• The average penis size is around 5.1 to 5.3 inches, with societal expectations often being higher.

• Female ejaculation and squirting are often misunderstood, with limited scientific research available.
• Squirting involves the release of a clear, odorless fluid, which may contain dilute urine.

"Squirting is… a clear colorless odorless fluid that's emitted from the urethra."

• The origin and nature of squirting fluid remain debated, with studies showing mixed results.

"In the one where they looked at the analysis, they found that it was there was like dilute urine."

• Understanding and communication about sexual experiences can enhance mutual satisfaction.

• Sexual health is a crucial aspect of overall health and well-being.
• Educating young people about sexual health can have far-reaching positive impacts.

"My message is that sexual health is health and that we need to be prioritizing our sexual health and educate our young people about sex."

• Comprehensive sexual health education can improve interpersonal relationships and personal well-being.

"The impacts of having negative sexual health or negative sexual encounters can be so dramatic in terms of physiologic outcomes, interpersonal outcomes, work productivity."

• Open discussions about sexual health can reduce stigma and promote healthier relationships.