the beginning with Cari Fletcher

Summary notes created by Deciphr AI
Summary Notes


In this episode of "Ex's and O's," host Shannon Beverage candidly discusses the complexities of her past relationship with pop singer Fletcher, also known as Cari Fletcher, her ex-girlfriend. Addressing the balance between public perception and personal experience, Shannon delves into the nuances of their private life becoming public, particularly through Fletcher's music, which often referenced their on-and-off relationship. They reflect on their initial connection, coming out, and the decision to keep their relationship private, despite releasing intimate art together. The conversation also touches on the dynamics of their breakup, the impact of their actions on each other, and the importance of sharing their sides of the story to provide context and humanize their experiences beyond the sensationalized drama. Shannon expresses her nervousness about the public's reaction to the episode, emphasizing her desire to maintain her own narrative while being transparent about the challenges they faced.

Summary Notes

Introduction and Mental Health Check-In

  • Shannon Beverage hosts the podcast "Ex's and O's," discussing career, relationships, and sex.
  • She expresses feeling stressed, excited, and a bit scared due to the perception of many people.
  • Shannon acknowledges the controversy surrounding the podcast guest and anticipates that it will be a topic of discussion among listeners.

"I'm stressed but I'm also really excited um you obviously know know who the guest is on this podcast episode I am so happy that I get to clear the air a little bit and have this conversation obviously it's controversial it's a controversial decision maybe maybe you think it is uh."

  • Shannon is feeling a mix of stress and excitement about having a controversial guest on the podcast, aiming to clear the air.
  • Tomboy X sponsors the episode; Shannon expresses her love for the company and its support for queer businesses.
  • Shannon announces the launch of her Patreon, offering bonus content, exclusive access to merchandise, and additional podcast content.

"thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you to tomboy X for sponsoring the video I also have really exciting news in that I am launching my patreon today."

  • Gratitude is expressed towards Tomboy X for sponsoring the episode, and excitement is shared about launching a Patreon for the podcast.

Reflection on Relationship and Public Perception

  • Shannon aims to remind listeners that she and her ex-guest are real people who had a genuine relationship before the drama.
  • She hopes the episode humanizes them and provides a foundation for those who joined the storyline during the height of drama.
  • The goal is to change the narrative from characters in a drama to real people with a history.

"I think a lot of people joined this story line uh kind of like at this height of drama there was some drama that happened. and I hope that this episode today can just be uh of reminder that we are both people we're real real people who like really really dated each other and really had a real relationship."

  • Shannon emphasizes the reality of their past relationship, aiming to provide context and humanity to the story beyond the drama.

The Guest Introduction and Relationship Privacy

  • Fletcher, pop singer and sensation, is introduced as the guest, also known as Carrie, Shannon's ex-girlfriend.
  • They discuss the privacy of their relationship, how it was kept from the public, and the decision to quarantine together post-breakup.

"we have never like really sat down and talked like ever really online like people don't remember that our relationship was Private."

  • Fletcher and Shannon reflect on how their relationship was kept private and how they have not publicly discussed it in detail before.

The Decision to Keep the Relationship Private

  • Shannon and Fletcher deliberate on why they chose to keep their relationship private, touching upon the impact of Shannon's previous public relationship and the desire for personal space.
  • They discuss the moment they considered going public with their breakup during quarantine and the complexities of their on-and-off relationship.

"what happened was when we were quarantined together we had been on and off and on and off and on and off a few times and then we were quarantined together."

  • The on-and-off nature of their relationship and the decision to quarantine together are highlighted, leading to discussions about their privacy choices.

The Sex Tapes and Artistic Expression

  • They address the "sex tapes," a reference to their private life being made public, and reflect on whether they regret sharing so much.
  • The conversation shifts to the art that came from their relationship and the lack of clarity provided to the public about their situation.

"yeah because we also gave no clarity about that either it was just like here you go guys and yeah weird decision making skills we've got but it beautiful art."

  • They ponder the decision to make aspects of their private life public and the resulting art, acknowledging their unusual decision-making process.

(Note: The transcript provided does not include further details about the "sex tapes" or additional context, so the notes are limited to the information given.)

Introduction and Relationship Background

  • The speaker introduces their ex-girlfriend, who is a singer and identifies as a lesbian.
  • They both create art together and have collaborated on projects.
  • The speaker is also a singer and has produced an EP titled "The Sex Tapes."
  • The EP's music videos and creative content were shot and directed by their ex-girlfriend, Shannon Beverage.
  • They quarantined together during the creation of the EP.

"this is my ex-girlfriend. she's a singer sing she is sing. she she is she is sing singer she is multi lesbian. she is singer she is lesbian lesbian we make art we make art together."

  • This quote introduces the ex-girlfriend, her profession, and their collaborative artistic relationship.

The Creation of "The Sex Tapes" EP

  • The EP was a significant project for the speaker, described as their favorite.
  • The process of working together on the EP was both rewarding and challenging.
  • The songs were about their on-and-off relationship, which added emotional complexity to the performance.
  • They faced difficulties due to the songs' content, which referenced times when they were broken up and seeing other people.

"I'm a singer. and I made I made an EP I wrote an EP and it was called the sex tapes and uh it was shot all the music videos and creative and photos were all shot and directed by my ex Shannon beverage lesbian lesbian."

  • The speaker discusses their role in creating the EP and Shannon's involvement in its production.

Emotional Complexity and Relationship Dynamics

  • The speaker acknowledges their immaturity and emotional irresponsibility during the relationship.
  • They express no regret for creating the EP but would approach sharing it differently in hindsight.
  • The release of the EP led to a period of no contact and coincided with their breakup, which was not celebrated or communicated effectively.

"but it was also really hard because I was performing these songs that I had written about us being on and off and on and off and on and off MH um in our throughout our relationship."

  • This quote highlights the emotional difficulty of performing songs about their tumultuous relationship.

Breakup and Aftermath

  • The process of creating the music videos started positively but became more strained over time.
  • There was tension and arguments during filming, particularly during a scene where they tried to provoke crying.
  • The speaker reflects on the tumultuous nature of the creative process and its impact on their relationship.

"and it was like so fun. but I was thinking about it it was wild like at the beginning it started so positive and it was like. okay we have nothing to do it's co like what are we going to do like let's make these videos and they're were fun."

  • The initial excitement of the creative process is contrasted with the eventual breakdown of their relationship.

Personal Growth and Reflection

  • The speaker discusses the need for a new mattress, symbolizing the desire for change and moving on from the past.
  • They ponder the reasons behind their ultimate breakup, citing their youth and lack of experience as contributing factors.
  • The speaker empathizes with their ex-girlfriend's need for independence and life experiences.

"ultimately there's I mean which time I mean ultimately you mean like the very end. yeah. well I feel like do you want to talk about this. we can."

  • This quote introduces the topic of their final breakup and the complexities surrounding it.

Cycle of Breaking Up and Reuniting

  • The speaker describes the cycle of breaking up, getting back together, and the involvement with other people during their separations.
  • They reflect on the toxic patterns that emerged and the difficulty in setting boundaries.
  • The dynamic between them was characterized by a push-and-pull behavior, with alternating periods of avoidance and pursuit.

"and then it was just like a cycle of us being like break up get back together break up get back together hook up with other people get back together."

  • The quote summarizes the repetitive nature of their relationship cycle.

Meeting and Early Relationship

  • The speaker recounts how they met, starting with an internet crush and a chance encounter arranged by a mutual friend.
  • Their first encounter was at a bowling alley, followed by a night out, which led to an immediate romantic connection.
  • They share a humorous anecdote about a rat falling from a tree on their first date, hinting at a bad omen.

"so I had followed you on Instagram for a long time and I had an internet crush on you. and I we had a mutual friend."

  • This quote explains the beginning of their attraction and the role of social media in their meeting.

Attempt to Impress and Initial Attraction

  • The conversation begins with an anecdote about trying to impress someone by jumping over a barrier.
  • The act was perceived as weird rather than impressive, suggesting a humorous or awkward attempt at gaining attention.
  • The mention of a rat is metaphorically linked to a bad omen, but the speaker reflects positively on the relationship that followed.

"actually I know I've been told I recently jumped at tenants like jumped over a barrier to try to impress a girl she was like that was weird."

  • The quote describes a failed attempt to impress someone, which sets a humorous tone for the conversation and illustrates a moment of vulnerability or silliness.

The Beginning of a Relationship

  • The speakers discuss the transition from being single to entering a new relationship.
  • The relationship developed quickly after deciding to be single.
  • The conversation indicates that the relationship started despite initial intentions of remaining single and the geographical distance between the two individuals.

"wasted youth happened really quickly after that basically because I was like. oh I need to be single. and I was was like excited to be single. and then I met you."

  • This quote highlights the unexpected nature of the relationship beginning right after one party had decided to embrace single life, emphasizing the unpredictability of romantic connections.

Creation of "Wasted Youth" Music Video

  • The music video for "Wasted Youth" was spontaneously conceived during a casual outing with friends.
  • The filming included candid moments such as almost drowning due to intoxication and an incident with a tree.
  • The warm water during the shoot and the casual filming by a friend, Ryan, contributed to the video's authenticity.
  • The music video inadvertently confirmed the speakers' relationship status to the public.

"and then that's how we ended up filming that music video and like everything else after that."

  • The quote explains how a casual moment led to the creation of a music video, which played a significant role in the public perception of their relationship.

Personal Struggles and Public Image

  • The speakers touch on the difficulties of managing personal life and public image, including the fear of being pigeonholed due to one's sexual orientation.
  • In 2016, there was concern about the lack of representation and potential negative repercussions of coming out as queer in the music industry.
  • The decision to come out was both liberating and frightening, but it led to a stronger connection with fans and a more authentic public persona.

"and um. yeah I had like come out to my family and and then didn't come out to people like that was just my sort of. like hey I like women um."

  • This quote conveys the personal nature of coming out and the subsequent decision to be public about one's sexuality, highlighting the emotional complexity involved in such disclosures.

Artistic Honesty and Fan Loyalty

  • The conversation acknowledges the importance of honesty in artistry and how it fosters a deeper connection with fans.
  • The speakers reflect on the evolution of their public narrative, initially avoiding specifics about their love lives, and the eventual embrace of transparency.
  • The discussion of pronoun usage in music underscores the gradual process of becoming more open about one's identity and relationships.

"you know so that was like a switch for you so much it was cuz before that I was just sort of like being vague and being like I'm singing about love I love love here's a song about love I feel like it just you weren't giving you didn't have like you had a story you had a story and you had to not tell your story."

  • This quote emphasizes the transformative effect of embracing and sharing one's truth, noting the shift from vague to specific references in music that align with personal experiences.

Social Media Presence and Privacy

  • The speakers discuss their strategic use of social media to maintain privacy while still being in the public eye.
  • They never explicitly confirmed their relationship through social media posts, despite being frequently seen together.
  • The conversation reveals incidents where they had to ask friends to remove posts that might reveal too much about their relationship.

"we basically just we basically like removed ourselves from the internet except for that we were still together and it was the time of like Snapchat and Instagram stories and we were always with like Alex and posting with each other."

  • This quote describes the delicate balance between maintaining a social media presence and protecting the privacy of their relationship, illustrating the challenges faced by public figures.

Shared Birthdays and Symbolic Events

  • The speakers share the same birthday, which is presented as a serendipitous and significant coincidence.
  • The conversation includes a humorous recount of one speaker falling into a fire, which is again linked to the idea of omens and the universe sending signs.
  • The shared birthday and other coincidental events add a layer of perceived destiny or fate to their story.

"and I was like March. what. and you were like 19th. and I was like my birthday is March 19th. it was creepy."

  • The quote captures the moment of discovering their shared birthday, emphasizing the surprise and emotional impact of this coincidence.

Reflection on the Relationship's Evolution

  • The speakers reflect on the progression of their relationship, from its beginning to its current state as friends.
  • The conversation alludes to a structured timeline of their relationship, with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
  • The discussion on the relationship's evolution suggests a thoughtful and reflective approach to understanding their past together.

"we do we have a beginning a middle and an end."

  • This quote succinctly summarizes the speakers' perception of their relationship as having gone through distinct phases, mirroring the structure of a story or narrative arc.

Shared Birthdays and Personal Celebrations

  • Celebrating birthdays close together can be fun but may lead to one person's birthday being overshadowed.
  • One partner often becomes the primary focus of the birthday celebrations.
  • A desire for separate celebration days is expressed for individual attention.

e a birthday not cuz when you are so close together then you have to celebrate with each other which is fun. but then when you're like me and I'm usually the more laid-back person in the couple feel like it get lost I'm just like. okay. so what are we doing for your birthday this year it stops being my birthday as much but we did a good job. and also she did a fine job too.

  • The quote reflects the speaker's experience of shared birthday celebrations and a preference for individual recognition during such occasions.

Relationship Dynamics and Public Perception

  • Discusses the complexity of having a relationship in the public eye.
  • The struggle with how much of the relationship to share online, especially during on-and-off periods.
  • The decision to publicly announce a breakup without having made a public dating announcement.
  • The lack of communication after the breakup and its long-term impact.

and then we basically pulled away from the internet then we started breaking up doing that on and off again thing MH. so then we were sharing even less I feel cuz I felt I feel like we knew that the end was happen like something it was going to end you know we I stopped sharing even when we would reconnect with each other like Instagram stories and stuff cuz it was like we should and that's why when we were quarantined together we had that conversation where we were like we have to do something to tell people that we are not together otherwise we are going to spend the rest of our lives with people being like are they together or they not together like how do you make a public breakup announcement when you never made a public da announcement.

  • This quote describes the challenges of managing a relationship in the public eye and the decision to publicly clarify the relationship status to avoid ongoing speculation.

The Impact of Artistic Expression on Relationships

  • Discusses the impact of dating an artist and how their work can reflect past emotions and events.
  • The time delay between the creation of art and its release can cause old feelings to resurface.
  • The non-artist partner may feel stressed upon hearing songs or seeing content related to their past relationship.
  • Songwriting is described as a therapeutic outlet for the artist.

but I think also you don't necessarily think about the the consequences of what all of that does like for years and years after and then obviously like it's so weird to date an artist because then music gets written that comes out years later like years later where I'm like this stuff isn't even really relevant anymore. but people who like listen to music don't think of that like they don't know they're like. oh they must have wrot that they wrote that last month it's like. yeah. no there's been songs.

  • The quote highlights the disconnect between the artist's timeline of creating work and the public's perception of when the events inspiring that work occurred.

Personal Responsibility and Public Narratives

  • Acknowledges the need to take responsibility for public actions, especially as a public figure.
  • The speaker has a podcast which adds to the public narrative and requires a balance between sharing and respecting others.
  • Emphasizes the importance of learning from mistakes and the sensitivity of creatives.

well I also have to take responsibility because as a public person who now has a pod whole ass podcast where I'm talking for like an hour a week about things I get I get that there's like there's a line between like sharing and being like a public person and like trying to respect people and making mistakes like I've made mistakes I think too maybe not as big of one as you.

  • This quote reflects the speaker's awareness of their role in shaping public narratives and the importance of being mindful of the impact on others.

Starting a Podcast and Controlling Narrative

  • The podcast was started as a means to regain control of the speaker's personal narrative.
  • There is a focus on representation and using the platform to share unique stories and perspectives.
  • The podcast is seen as a way to contribute positively to conversations around representation.

but a big part of why I started the podcast in in the first place was to have control of my own narrative again cuz I felt like super out of control like just between between things with you and music and songs but then also my own relationship with social media and like kind of having moments of wanting to like disappear and not give people like access to me anymore.

  • The quote discusses the motivation behind starting a podcast, which was to regain narrative control and address the lack of representation.

Preparing for Candid Conversations

  • The speakers express nervousness about having a candid conversation on the podcast.
  • There is a mutual understanding that they do not want to hurt anyone's feelings but also want to respect their own experiences.
  • They have had a private conversation to work through issues before bringing the discussion to the podcast.

I'm nervous I'm nervous too this is like the worst part about it obviously that's. okay. I think for us both to be able to say it's like we're we're nervous like we're nervous to do this.

  • This quote captures the apprehension felt by both speakers about having an open and potentially difficult conversation in a public forum.
  • The speaker promotes Tomboy X, a queer-owned company that sells underwear.
  • There is a personal endorsement of the comfort and confidence gained from wearing Tomboy X products.
  • A discount code is offered for the listeners to use on the Tomboy X website.

(Note: As per the instructions, the advertisement content has not been included in the detailed notes.)

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