ranking the tortured poets department based on vibes and DELUSION

Zach, a self-proclaimed Swift doist and pop culture theologist, eagerly anticipates Taylor Swift's upcoming album "Tortured Poets Department," ranking its tracks based on titles, lengths, and his own "Tay Voodoo" intuition. He also aligns existing Swift songs with the new tracks to predict their vibes. Zach is skeptical about features, preferring Swift's solo work, and admonishes his audience to avoid sharing leaks and rumors. He teases a midweek video on Swift's "hot girl summer" and promotes his Patreon for exclusive content. In his categorization, "Holy Ground sister" represents top-tier songs while "Delete" denotes the least anticipated. Zach's excitement is palpable as he dissects potential themes, from breakups and personal growth to satirical takes on Swift's relationships and experiences. He maintains a playful yet critical tone throughout, especially towards Swift's ex, Joe, and hints at a deeper analysis of the album's narrative structure once released.

• Zach introduces himself as a Swift doist living in delusion.
• He will rank every track from the album "Tortured Poets Department" based on track titles, lengths, and his own intuitions.
• Zach mentions receiving "vibrations" and "Tay Voodoo" that influence his thoughts on the songs.
• He has created a corresponding playlist with existing Taylor Swift songs to match the vibe of each track on the new album.

"did you ever hear about the Swift doist who lives in delusion nice to meet you I am him he is me today we are going to be ranking every single track from the tortured poets Department the track titles and track lengths are now completely available for all of us to speculate and let me tell you when I saw those track links it changed my mind about a couple of these songs I knew I had held off on ranking for a good reason"

Zach identifies as a Swift doist who uses his intuition and available information about the tracks to speculate and rank them.

• Zach is a self-proclaimed Swifty and expresses his dedication to Taylor Swift's music.
• He insists on experiencing the album without spoilers and will block anyone who sends leaks or rumors.
• Zach's excitement for the album is evident, as he mentions it's one of Taylor Swift's longest.

"I'm theologist. and I make thoughtful weekly videos about pop culture. but right now I'm in full Swifty mode I am a Swifty hear me roar I'm handh Harding until the day that I die."

Zach is passionate about pop culture and identifies strongly with the Swifty community, showing his dedication to Taylor Swift's work.

• Zach encourages viewers to join his Patreon for exclusive content.
• He announces the sell-out of his first live show in London and hints at the possibility of additional tickets.
• Updates on tickets and content will be available on Patreon and Instagram.

"and we just sold out our very first live show in London I'm so excited I can't believe it we cannot wait to perform for you guys and we also may be able to add some additional tickets sometime in the near future"

Zach shares the success of his upcoming live show and suggests there may be more opportunities for fans to attend.

• Zach explains the ranking categories he will use for the tracks: Holy Ground sister, bra brav bra, well yes, great gown, no thanks, and delete.
• Each category reflects his anticipated enjoyment and quality of the tracks.

"so that's basically the categories that we are working with today"

Zach provides an overview of his unique ranking system for assessing the tracks on "Tortured Poets Department."

• Zach admits to misreading the track title "Fortnite" as "footnote" initially.
• He speculates on the potential meaning of the song, suggesting it might relate to Taylor Swift's relationship timeline with Joe Alwyn.
• Zach anticipates "Fortnite" to be catchy, possibly a single, and places it in the "well yes" category.
• He compares "Fortnite" to another Taylor Swift song on his playlist, indicating a vibe of dealing with a recent but final breakup.

"I think that fortnite is going to be about I'm wondering if it's about the period of time between when she last Saw Joe and started the ARs tour or when she started the ARs tour and they broke up"

Zach hypothesizes about the narrative content of "Fortnite," relating it to specific events in Taylor Swift's personal life.

• Zach is excited about the title track "Tortured Poets Department," noting its significant length.
• He theorizes it could be either a satirical take or a sad reflection on finding community during tough times.
• Based on his expectations, Zach ranks the title track in the "bra brav bra" category.

"I'm leaning more into the satirical sense and because of that I'm putting the torure PO Department in bra bra bra"

Zach shares his anticipation for the title track and where it stands in his ranking system, leaning towards a satirical interpretation.

• Zach anticipates a great album based on the title and theming, though it hasn't fully clicked yet.
• He is keeping an eye out for Selena Gomez's involvement and compares her unpredictability to the anticipation of the album's release.
• Zach likens a five-minute-long song to Taylor Swift's "I Bet You Think About Me," suggesting a detailed and vindictive tone.

"I think it's going to be great something about the title is just and the theming of the record has not fully clicked for me yet it will when I hear it obviously but for now I'm not side eyeing."

The quote reflects Zach's positive yet cautious anticipation for the upcoming album, awaiting the full experience to understand the theme.

• Zach identifies as a "Swiftolist" and dismisses criticism from "Joe Defenders."
• He makes it clear that his channel is not about presenting both sides of a story, but rather a celebration of Taylor Swift and her work.
• Zach expresses that his content is focused on thoughtful pop culture, not objectivity, and he has a history of critiquing Taylor Swift's exes.

"I'm the Swift olist and I've been a Swifty longer than you've had a fingernail for so leave me alone and let me practice my culture my culture is not your costume if you don't get it don't pretend to be a Swifty go be a Joe Stan I mean you can't cuz there's nothing to stand as we've been through."

This quote emphasizes Zach's dedication to being a Taylor Swift fan and his disinterest in neutrality or sympathizing with Joe.

• Zach shares his excitement for a song titled "My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys" and predicts an angry tone.
• He relates the song to Taylor Swift's "Holy Ground" and "Forever and Always," expecting a theme of frustration with a partner's actions.
• Zach uses Taylor Swift lyrics to express his thoughts, indicating his deep engagement with her music.

"My boy only breaks his favorite toys I am so excited to hear this song I'm putting it in Holy Ground sister and correspondingly I've given it a Holy Ground cousin as the vibe check match that I put on my playlist which is forever and always."

The quote reveals Zach's anticipation for the song and his prediction of its emotional content based on its placement in his themed playlist.

• Zach notes that the song "Down Bad" is one of the longer tracks on the record and anticipates a sad tone.
• He discusses the significance of track five on Taylor Swift's albums and the context provided by surrounding songs.
• Zach is particularly interested in the songs "Down Bad" and "But Daddy I Love Him," expecting them to be sadder than "So Long London."

"I was super gagged when I found out that downbad was 4 minutes and 21 seconds long that's actually very long it is one of the longer songs on the record."

This quote indicates Zach's surprise at the length of "Down Bad" and suggests that the song's duration might correlate with its emotional depth.

• Zach contemplates Taylor Swift's relationship with London and how it compares to her depiction of New York in her music.
• He expects "So Long London" to be a highlight of the record and to share parallels with "Cornelia Street."
• Zach trusts Taylor Swift's judgment in track placement and looks forward to the storytelling in "So Long London."

"Taylor really has not spoken at length or written about as diaristic London as she has New York in that early phase of their relationship. so I'm very curious to hear what her relationship is to London now she's always loved it and had an affinity for it."

The quote conveys Zach's curiosity about how London will be represented in the upcoming music, given its significance in Taylor Swift's personal life.

• Zach predicts "But Daddy I Love Him" will be a shocking and revealing song.
• He associates the song with the "tortured poets" theme and suggests it will encapsulate that concept.
• Zach contrasts the excitement for the song with the negative reactions from "Joe widows" in his comment section.

"But daddy I love him Holy Ground sister Holy Ground sister this is going to be an unhinged monologue it is going to be one of the most shocking things you've ever heard in your entire life."

This quote highlights Zach's high expectations for "But Daddy I Love Him," predicting it to be a standout track with a dramatic narrative.

• Zach expresses enthusiasm for "Fresh Out. The Slammer," anticipating it as a treasure.
• The song is associated with a sense of liberation, but with a negative twist, suggesting a reckless freedom.
• Zach compares the song's energy to a dog shaking off water and wanting to get dirty again.

"I am literally getting so excited sitting here salivating dreaming about what Treasures these songs are going to be to me fresh out the slam Hammer is uh like a dog shaking its fur like I got to get this damp off of me I hated having that bath and now I need to run around and roll in the mud and get dirty again that is the vibe of this song Fresh Out."

The quote shows Zach's anticipation and the imagery he uses to describe the vibe of "Fresh Out. The Slammer," suggesting a desire to break free from constraints.

• Zach believes the song will discuss the experience of feeling confined and then suddenly being released.
• He anticipates a theme of doing everything all at once, potentially leading to negative consequences.
• Zach adds the song to his "Holy Ground sister" playlist, likening it to "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" due to a sense of finality and anger.

"I think this is going to be about Liberation but not in a good way I think it's going to be about the contrasting extreme of being locked up for a long time it's going to be like. oh my God I'm out of jail like I have to do everything now I have to do it all."

Zach's explanation suggests the song will explore the overwhelming feeling of needing to experience everything after being restricted for a long time.

• Zach is not a big fan of Florence and the Machine but is curious about the song "Florida."
• He speculates it will reflect a tumultuous time, perhaps marked by confusion and a mix of good and bad experiences.
• The song is likened to "Cruel Summer" and is placed in the "Holy Ground sister" category of his playlist.

"Florida featuring Florence and the Machine. I'm not a huge Florence head to be honest I'm not but I'm thinking about where this song is placed it has the exclamation points which is weird but also. fun."

Zach expresses his thoughts on the song "Florida," noting the placement and punctuation in the tracklist, which suggests a potentially fun and energetic song.

• Zach is intrigued by the song title "Guilty as Sin" and its longer duration.
• He theorizes it may deal with themes of blame, limits being pushed, and possibly a sexy undertone.
• The song is compared to "So It Goes..." and is categorized as "Brav Brav," indicating a stricter self-assessment.

"Guilty as Sin question mark did I do anything wrong is it really my fault that I behave this way when you pushed me to my limit when you brought me to the extreme."

Zach interprets the song title "Guilty as Sin" as questioning one's culpability and the circumstances that lead to certain behaviors.

• Zach predicts "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me" will address mental illness and may be the second-longest song on the record.
• He speculates it could be about dealing with fame, cultural dominance, and the challenges of dating with intense public scrutiny.
• The song is expected to be a powerful track with a potential clapback moment, likened to "Dear John."

"I think so I thought that this was going to be like a clapback like a banger like a Bop like a kiss off. but I don't think that's what it is I don't think that's what it is could this be a Reckoning with her Fame could this be contending with Newfound cultural dominance and power."

Zach shares his initial and revised expectations for "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me," considering its potential themes and emotional weight.

• Zach initially believes "I Can Fix Him. No Really, I Can" will have a humorous tone.
• He is concerned about the song's short length but still thinks it will be enjoyable.
• The song is compared to "Style," and Zach predicts it might be a single, emphasizing its catchy and single-like qualities.

"I think it's going to be funny. and I know I'm going to wish that it was longer come on Taylor Swift We need to just be adding an extra chorus that's all we need to be doing to just you know make it all worthwhile."

Zach comments on the song's length and his wish for it to be longer, suggesting that an additional chorus could enhance its impact.

• Zach initially dismisses "Love of My Life" as potentially inconsequential but later senses it might carry more depth.
• He feels the song might be introspective, reflecting on a past relationship where sacrifices were expected.
• The song is likened to "The Archer" and is placed in the "Great Gown" category, indicating mixed feelings about its potential.

"I thought this was going to be kind of a nothing song to be honest with you I thought this was going to be kind of like a Stay Stay Stay or a Starlight or a labyrinth something that was just inconsequential but I'm having a Feeling that it's going to be a little bit more than that."

Zach's quote reveals his evolving perception of "Love of My Life," suggesting that the song may have a more significant emotional depth than initially thought.

• Zach identifies "I Can Do It with a Broken Heart" as a quintessential Taylor Swift title.
• He anticipates the song will be bittersweet, combining sadness with an upbeat tempo.
• The song is associated with "New Romantics" and is expected to evoke the feeling of overcoming challenges with resilience.

"I can do it with a broken heart is going to be something. sad fun. it's going to be like a crying on the dance floor kind of moment we can't be friends. Dancing On My Own those kinds of uplifting but also deeply depressing numbers."

Zach describes his expectations for "I Can Do It with a Broken Heart," predicting a song that captures the duality of feeling sad yet empowered.

• The speaker, Zach, discusses a theme of overcoming adversity and using work as a refuge during personal struggles.
• He anticipates that the song will be about entering a new career phase and immersing oneself in work to cope with personal issues.
• Zach interprets the song as an embodiment of resilience, building strength from past hardships.

"Rising above feeling attacked I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me."

This quote encapsulates the idea of transforming negative experiences into a foundation for future success. It suggests using criticism or adversity as a motivator to create something positive.

• Zach expresses a personal disdain for Scooter Braun and hopes the song will be a form of poetic justice.
• He links the song to themes of karma and retribution, as well as communication challenges and cowardice.

"I would be very happy if this was about Scooter Braun. I'm always here to destroy him."

Zach's quote reveals a strong personal bias against Scooter Braun and a desire for the song to reflect negative sentiments towards him.

• The song "The Alchemy" is associated with the ability to transform and start anew, similar to a phoenix rising from the ashes.
• Zach connects this theme to the artist's intuition and decisiveness when it comes to making life changes.
• He compares the song to "Midnight Rain," which he believes also deals with the theme of transformation.

"The Alchemy I think is going to be about her capacity to transform her ability to start over Phoenix Rising From the Ashes."

This quote highlights the theme of personal growth and the transformative power of the artist, likening her to a mythical phoenix capable of rebirth and renewal.

• Zach discusses the song "Manuscript" and theorizes that it may be about discarding or radically changing a creative work.
• He relates to the concept of a manuscript as a draft or unfinished piece, which can undergo significant revision or be completely scrapped.

"A manuscript is a draft of a book that is maybe unfinished... I think that this could be about throwing something out that you've worked really hard on."

The quote explains the metaphor of a manuscript representing an unfinished or discarded work, suggesting the song may deal with the difficult decisions involved in the creative process.

• Zach admits difficulty in predicting the themes of the bonus tracks, but makes connections based on song titles.
• He speculates on "The Bolter" being related to themes of escape or fleeing, drawing a parallel with the song "Getaway Car."
• The song "The Albatross" is thought to represent a burdensome love, likened to "Dancing With Our Hands Tied."

"The Bolter... I mean I just had to put getaway car because that's what you do when you get in a getaway car you are bolting away from something."

This quote indicates Zach's attempt to interpret the song "The Bolter" through the lens of escaping a situation, using the metaphor of a getaway car to convey the concept of fleeing.

• Zach shares his initial ranking of the songs based on his excitement and interest levels.
• He invites his audience to join his Patreon and Discord for further discussion and analysis of the songs.
• Zach emphasizes the value of having a community to share thoughts and engage in conversation about the music.

"I think I'll arrange the holy sister in order of my excitement for them as well just you know for posterity."

The quote shows Zach's intention to organize the songs based on his personal excitement and to share this ranking with his audience for discussion and engagement.