Past Mistakes that Almost Ruined My Reputation Ep 397

Summary Notes


In a candid reflection, Alshamosi, owner of and a portfolio of companies worth $85 million a year, shares his personal journey of transformation from a self-centered and promiscuous reputation in high school to a more respectable and hardworking individual in college. He recounts a pivotal conversation with his father, who advised him to change himself rather than people's perceptions, leading Alshamosi to drastically alter his behavior—studying diligently and abstaining from partying—to improve his grades and ultimately his self-image. He emphasizes the importance of self-perception over others' opinions and the power of being one's own witness to personal integrity. Alshamosi's story underscores the challenges of overcoming negative first impressions and the continuous effort required to maintain a positive reputation.

Summary Notes

Personal Growth and Perception

  • Alshamosi reflects on his past behavior and the importance of personal change over trying to manipulate others' perceptions.
  • He acknowledges his self-centeredness and desire for respect and status after high school.
  • Alshamosi shares that he believes he has either improved himself or gained a better understanding of people.

"Why are you trying to change people's perception of you when you can just change who you are and let their perceptions catch up?"

This quote emphasizes the idea that personal transformation is more authentic and effective than attempting to alter how others see you. It suggests that perceptions will naturally adjust to who you truly become.

Business and Customer Relations

  • The conversation shifts to business strategies such as acquiring customers, increasing customer value, and retention.
  • The speaker implies that these strategies come with both failures and lessons.

"About how to get more customers, how to make more per customer, and how to keep them longer, and the many failures and lessons we have learned along the way."

The quote outlines the primary objectives of any business concerning customer relations and acknowledges that the path to achieving these goals involves learning from both failures and successes.

Life-Changing Realizations

  • Alshamosi details a significant period of his life during his transition from high school to college.
  • He admits to having a poor reputation in high school due to promiscuity and hoped for a fresh start in college.
  • Despite intentions to change, he initially amplified his negative behaviors in college, leading to academic failure.

"I'm going to break down one of the stories that impacted my life the most and hopefully how you can learn from it."

This quote introduces the intent to share a personal story with the aim of providing a learning experience for the listener.

Academic Consequences and Family Intervention

  • Alshamosi's actions in his first college semester led to a low GPA and failing grades.
  • His father's intervention is mentioned as a pivotal moment.

"I ended up having a one nine gpa going into. I basically had these report cards from my teachers that were like, halfway through the first semester that were sent home that were like, your son is failing basically every class."

The quote describes the academic consequences of Alshamosi's actions and sets the stage for the life-changing conversation that followed, indicating the seriousness of his situation at the time.

Introduction and Professional Background

  • Alshamosi introduces himself formally and mentions his professional achievements.
  • He owns a portfolio of companies through with significant annual revenue.

"My name is Alshamosi It's a portfolio of companies of $85 million a year."

This quote establishes Alshamosi's credibility and professional success, which contrasts with his earlier personal and academic struggles, highlighting the transformation he has undergone.

Dealing with Reputation and Personal Change

  • Alshamosi sought advice from his father on how to improve his tarnished reputation.
  • His father emphasized the importance of changing one's behavior rather than trying to alter others' perceptions.
  • Alshamosi realized the need for personal change, which led to a shift in his college lifestyle.
  • He stopped engaging in activities that contributed to his negative reputation and focused on his studies.
  • This change resulted in a significant improvement in his academic performance.

"How do I get these people to stop talking all the smack? There was this thing back in the day called juicy campus, which is like a gossip form."

  • Alshamosi was concerned about negative gossip on a forum called Juicy Campus, which later got shut down.

"Why are you trying to change people's perception of you when you can just change who you are and let their perceptions catch up?"

  • Alshamosi's father advised him to focus on self-improvement rather than trying to influence what others think of him.

"The only way you're going to change your reputation is by being different."

  • His father highlighted that a change in Alshamosi's actions and behavior would eventually lead to a change in his reputation.

"I didn't go out at all. I didn't drink anymore. I really didn't hang out with girls at all. And all I did was study."

  • Alshamosi describes the drastic changes he made in his lifestyle to improve his grades and reputation.

"I was able to pull my, like, one. It might have been one two. It was very low. I think it was a one two, actually up to a 3.2 for the semester."

  • He improved his GPA from around 1.2 to 3.2 by dedicating himself to his studies, demonstrating the positive impact of his behavioral changes.

Academic Turnaround and Consequences

  • Alshamosi faced the threat of being pulled out of school by his father if his grades did not improve.
  • The fear of this consequence motivated him to change his behavior and prioritize his academics.
  • His commitment to studying allowed him to recover from a low GPA and avoid the potential of leaving school.

"But I ended up knowing that he was very serious about the threat of pulling out of school if I didn't get my grades up."

  • Alshamosi acknowledges the severity of his father's warning about the need to improve his academic performance.

"And so what I ended up doing for the next half of the semester, of my first semester of freshman year is I didn't go out at all."

  • He took his father's warning seriously and made significant lifestyle changes, which included abstaining from social activities that were affecting his grades.

"And I was able to pull my, like, one. It might have been one two...up to a 3.2 for the semester, which basically meant I got an A on everything from that point for the rest of the semester."

  • Alshamosi's efforts to focus on his studies paid off, as he was able to raise his GPA significantly by the end of the semester.

Personal Growth and Self-Realization

  • Alshamosi reflects on the importance of self-improvement and the challenges of altering one's reputation.
  • He discusses the transition from being perceived negatively to changing others' perceptions through consistent behavior over time.
  • Alshamosi emphasizes the difficulty of changing first impressions and the effort required to overcome a negative reputation.
  • He acknowledges the realization that managing one's reputation among numerous people is impractical.

"And so we should always expect that is what you're going to get from here on out. And I was like, and what he meant was the straight a is not the three toe. And it also kind of proved it to myself, too. I was like, I guess I can do this."

This quote highlights Alshamosi's moment of self-realization where he acknowledges his potential to achieve high academic success, which served as a turning point in his self-perception and academic performance.

"And what happened is, after I started switching that way, people still thought of me as a whore, and I still had to deal with that."

Alshamosi shares the struggle he faced in changing the negative perceptions others had of him despite his efforts to improve himself and his behavior.

"And I think during that period of time, I grew an appreciation for how easy it is, especially in first impressions, to set the wrong one and how hard it is to overcome a negative impression."

This quote reflects Alshamosi's understanding of the lasting impact of first impressions and the challenges involved in altering them.

"And my reputation overall, the realization I had was, there's too many eyeballs, there's too many people that you're interacting with in the world to try and curate your reputation."

Alshamosi concludes that trying to control one's reputation among the many people one interacts with is an overwhelming and impractical task.

The Role of Reputation

  • Alshamosi discusses the concept of reputation as a reflection of how others perceive an individual.
  • He differentiates between the opinions of individuals and collective impressions.
  • The importance of self-assessment in response to widespread negative feedback is highlighted.
  • Alshamosi suggests that reputation is an external manifestation of one's character and actions.

"The only way to change your reputation is to change who you are. And reputation is fundamentally just what people say about you to your face and behind your back."

This quote implies that altering one's reputation requires a genuine change in character, as reputation is the sum of what others think and say about an individual.

"Now, I'm not saying that you need to care about what everyone else thinks. That's not really the point of this. It's much more. If one person says, you're an asshole, whatever. If every person you know says you're an asshole, you might be an asshole."

Alshamosi distinguishes between disregarding individual criticisms and recognizing a pattern of negative feedback from a wider group, which may indicate a need for personal change.

"And so if you have one of those situations where you feel like the proof or the evidence is overwhelming and you might even believe it, then it's probably you."

The quote suggests that when there is overwhelming evidence that many people share a negative perception of an individual, it is likely a reflection of the individual's own behavior or character.

Content Accessibility and Engagement

  • Alshamosi promotes the video version of his podcast, which includes additional visual elements.
  • He suggests that different formats can enhance the audience's understanding and engagement with the content.
  • The video content is mentioned to be freely accessible, encouraging listeners to explore the content in their preferred format.

"Hey, guys. Love that you're listening to the podcast. If you ever want to have the video version of this, which usually has more effects, more visuals, more graphs, drawn out stuff, sometimes it can help hit the brain centers in different ways."

This quote is an invitation for the audience to engage with the podcast's video version, which offers enhanced visual elements that may appeal to different learning styles.

"It's absolutely free."

Speaker B confirms that the video content is available at no cost, removing a potential barrier for the audience to access the additional content.

"Go check that out if that's what you are into, and if not, keep enjoying the show."

Alshamosi closes the promotion by encouraging the audience to explore the video content if it suits their preferences, while also affirming the value of the audio podcast for those who prefer it.

Self-Reflection and Personal Growth

  • Alshamosi discusses the importance of self-acceptance and striving to be a person one can admire.
  • The focus is on self-improvement rather than the perception of others.
  • Key aspects of the desired personal growth include studying hard, working out, being a good friend, loyalty, respectfulness, and lack of ego.
  • Continuous work on insecurities and self-improvement is highlighted as an ongoing process.
  • The transition from seeking external validation to internal satisfaction is emphasized.

"And transitioning to be like, at the end of the day, I'm the only person who knows who I am, and I don't like who I am. And just saying, like, well, how can I get to a point where I would like me and that would be good enough?"

This quote explains the turning point where Alshamosi realizes the importance of self-liking and the idea that one's own approval should be sufficient.

"Well, that guy studies really hard, and that guy works out really hard, and that guy is a really good friend. He's very loyal. He's always respectful, doesn't have an ego."

Alshamosi describes the attributes of the person he aspires to be, focusing on hard work, physical fitness, friendship, loyalty, respectfulness, and humility.

Integrity and Self-Witnessing

  • Alshamosi references a quote by "ethnic cheetah" that emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and integrity.
  • The idea is that one should not need external affirmation to understand oneself.
  • Self-witnessing is crucial for personal development and maintaining integrity.

"And there's this quote by ethnic cheetah that I'm probably going to butcher. But he says, if you need someone else to tell you something about yourself, you are out of integrity because you can always be your own witness."

Alshamosi shares a quote that conveys the concept that relying on others for self-knowledge compromises one's integrity, highlighting the importance of being one's own witness.

Reputation and the Public Eye

  • The importance of self-reputation and its eventual reflection in the public image is discussed.
  • Alshamosi talks about the pressure of being recognized in public and the need to consistently behave in a manner that reflects well on oneself.
  • The concept of "pretending like you're famous" to oneself is introduced, suggesting that one should always act with integrity, as if under public scrutiny.

"And if we want to change our reputation, we need to change a reputation with ourselves first. And then eventually it will reflect in the world."

This quote explains that changing one's public reputation begins with changing how one views and behaves towards oneself, suggesting that internal change precedes external perception.

"If I'm out to dinner and I'm just not concentrating and I'm short with the waiter, and the waiter recognizes me, then he's like, this guy's an asshole or whatever."

Alshamosi expresses concern about being perceived negatively in public due to off moments, illustrating the need for consistent behavior that aligns with one's values.

Conclusion and Channel Engagement

  • Alshamosi wraps up the discussion by addressing his audience, known as "mosy nation."
  • He welcomes new viewers to the channel and signs off with a message of love.

"And so I will leave you with that mosy nation, if you're new to the channel, welcome. Lots of love. Bye."

Alshamosi concludes the video with a farewell to his viewers, acknowledging his regular audience and extending a welcome to new followers, emphasizing a sense of community and positivity.

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