Moment 139 Your Inner Voice Is Limiting You! How To Control The Negative Inner Thoughts Mo Gowdat

Abstract
Summary Notes

Abstract

In a deep dive into the human psyche, Speaker A, an author, explores the concept of illusions and the influence of entrenched thoughts on our actions and beliefs. He emphasizes the prevalence of such illusions, highlighting how unexamined beliefs, such as the perceived burden of family, can skew one's reality. Through introspection and honesty, Speaker A advocates for identifying and confronting these limiting beliefs to align one's actions, thoughts, and feelings, achieving a state of equilibrium. Speaker B, the host, engages in this introspection, revealing contradictions in their own life, prompting Speaker A to explain the importance of compartmentalizing unresolved issues and prioritizing life aspects to manage personal growth and balance effectively.

Summary Notes

Introduction to Speaker A's Inspiration

  • Speaker A's book begins with exploring personal inspirations, including reflections on his own life and relationships.
  • Illusions in life are a central theme, questioning the authenticity of one's beliefs and actions.
  • Speaker A mentions the role of his family, particularly his children, in realizing some of his mistaken beliefs.

"The basics here, which is the, the title of the first chapter of your book. And it's, and it feels like the first chapter really kind of introduces some of the inspiration behind you. Wrote, why you wrote, wrote the book. You talk a lot about your wife and the illusions that you live under."

The quote introduces the main topic of the first chapter of Speaker A's book, highlighting the personal aspects that inspired him to write, including his relationship with his wife and the concept of living under illusions.

The Concept of Illusion

  • Speaker A suggests that most unexamined beliefs are likely illusions.
  • There is an emphasis on the need for reflection to identify and understand one's true convictions.
  • Illusions can encompass a wide range of ideas, from materialism to societal expectations.

"Everything that you haven't visited and investigated and arrived at a competent, confident conviction that this is your own view is probably an illusion, okay?"

Speaker A defines an illusion as any belief or view that has not been critically examined and personally affirmed, implying that many commonly accepted ideas may be baseless if not personally scrutinized.

The Illusion of Responsibility and Burden

  • Speaker A reflects on his early belief that his family, especially his children, were a burden due to the responsibilities they brought.
  • He acknowledges that this perspective was a result of the pressure he put on himself, rather than the reality of his family's needs or desires.
  • The realization came that his family would have preferred his presence over material provision.

"One, I think the biggest of them was a conviction in my early years that my kids were a burden, my family was a responsibility."

Speaker A shares a personal illusion he held, viewing his children as a burden, which he later recognized as a misinterpretation of the responsibilities of family life.

The Misalignment of Perception and Reality

  • Speaker A discusses the conflict between what we are told, how we behave, and how we feel, which can lead to a misperception of reality.
  • He uses his own life as an example, where his actions contradicted his beliefs and feelings, causing confusion about his true reality.
  • The acknowledgment of one's mistakes is an important aspect of understanding the illusions one lives under.

"I'm behaving this way, which might be contradicting what I have been told, but I'm feeling that way, which might be a third contradiction, and where is my reality?"

This quote highlights the complexity of aligning one's behavior, emotions, and the information received from external sources, which can lead to a distorted sense of reality.

The Power of the Brain's Convictions

  • Speaker A emphasizes the influence of the brain's narratives on our actions and well-being.
  • He points out that believing what the brain tells us can shape our entire being and response to life.
  • The analogy with the movie "Inception" is used to illustrate how a persistent thought can distort one's perception of reality.

"And the basics of the challenges we have with our brains is that we believe what our brains tell us, okay?"

Speaker A expresses the idea that our brain's convictions can be so strong that they dictate our entire response to life, emphasizing the importance of questioning those convictions to understand what is truly real.

The Power of a Single Thought

  • A single, deeply ingrained thought can shape a person's entire life and actions.
  • Such a thought acts as a resilient parasite, more potent than bacteria or viruses.
  • These thoughts can lead to extreme behaviors, such as suicide, failed startups due to mistrust, or even acts of war and terrorism.
  • The key to living authentically is identifying and dealing with these ingrained thoughts.

"The most resilient parasite is not a bacteria, it's not a virus. It is a thought that you implant deep in your brain and believe in it over and over and over through your life, and it shapes everything."

This quote emphasizes the concept that a single thought or belief, when deeply internalized, can have a more significant impact on a person's life than any physical parasite.

The Consequences of Limiting Beliefs

  • Limiting beliefs can prevent success, as seen in the example of a brilliant engineer who couldn't trust businessmen.
  • The speaker's friend failed in every startup attempt because he could not relinquish control due to his mistrust.
  • Identifying and eradicating these limiting beliefs is crucial for personal and professional fulfillment.

"And as a result, everything he started failed, even though the ideas and the engineering, the rigor was incredible, but he just couldn't get that idea out of his mind."

This quote illustrates the practical consequences of holding onto a limiting belief, demonstrating how it can lead to repeated failures despite having excellent ideas and skills.

Identifying Limiting Thoughts

  • To find limiting thoughts, one must engage in a moment of truth and honesty.
  • Comparing one's thoughts with actual feelings and actions can reveal inconsistencies.
  • Recognizing and admitting discrepancies between self-identification and true desires or behaviors is the first step in changing limiting beliefs.

"It's a moment of truth. It's a moment of honesty. I think you started with that very. I can't believe I spoke about that, about the very personal question about my relationship choices."

This quote introduces the idea that confronting personal truths is essential for identifying the thoughts that limit us, using the example of relationship choices to illustrate the point.

The Importance of Self-Coherence

  • Coherence between one's identity, desires, and actions is crucial.
  • The example of identifying as vegan while craving animal protein demonstrates a lack of coherence.
  • Admitting to striving for a goal rather than falsely claiming an identity can lead to more authentic living and self-improvement.

"If you say, I am vegan, for example, if you identify yourself as vegan but you crave eating animal protein and you feel that you're pressured, then you're not a vegan."

This quote highlights the need for self-coherence and the importance of aligning one's identity with one's true desires and actions, using veganism as an example of a potentially incongruent self-identification.

Internal Conflict and Self-Reflection

  • The speaker is grappling with the feeling of being trapped despite being in a loving partnership.
  • There is a contradiction between the speaker's feelings, actions, and thoughts.
  • Self-conversation is encouraged to address these contradictions.

"I love her and I want to stay with her forever. But I'm looking at every other woman and I feel that I am in jail." This quote illustrates the speaker's internal conflict between their desire for commitment and feelings of entrapment, highlighting the need for introspection.

Contradictions in Life

  • Speaker B recognizes a pattern of contradiction in their life.
  • Actions are not aligning with stated desires, such as wanting a committed relationship but prioritizing work.

"So much of my life is filled with contradict." This quote from Speaker B acknowledges the pervasive nature of contradictions in their life, setting the stage for further exploration of this dissonance.

Understanding Compartmentalization

  • Speaker A introduces the concept of three mental compartments.
  • Compartment one contains truths we acknowledge.
  • Compartment three includes falsehoods we recognize.
  • Compartment two is where unresolved or contradictory thoughts and feelings reside.

"There are three compartments in our brains. One compartment is what I call compartment one, which are things that are true and we know are true." This quote explains the concept of compartment one, where acknowledged truths are stored in our consciousness.

The Significance of Compartment Two

  • Identifying issues as compartment two is crucial for mental organization.
  • Compartment two issues are acknowledged but not prioritized for immediate resolution.
  • The speaker has personally used this method to navigate life after separation.

"What matters is marking them as compartment two." This quote emphasizes the importance of recognizing unresolved issues as compartment two, allowing for a more organized approach to personal conflicts and uncertainties.

Equilibrium and Balance in Life

  • Equilibrium represents a state of minimal effort and struggle.
  • A balanced life, like a pendulum at equilibrium, requires no extra force to maintain.
  • Lack of balance results in actions, feelings, and thoughts not aligning, leading to internal struggle.

"If you're in balance, you're not struggling. Just like the pendulum. The pendulum, when it's at its equilibrium point, you literally need zero force to keep it in the equilibrium point forever." This quote draws an analogy between life balance and a pendulum at equilibrium, suggesting that achieving balance in life reduces the need for constant effort and struggle.

Effort and Natural Equilibrium

  • Life involves constant effort to maintain a state that is not our natural equilibrium.
  • Acknowledging the non-natural state and its benefits is crucial.
  • It's acceptable to plan for a future shift towards equilibrium.
  • People can choose to work towards equilibrium gradually or accept their current state without plans to change.

"And that's what we do with our lives all the time. That our nature, our balance, our equilibrium is not exactly how we're living. And so we're constantly applying effort."

This quote highlights the ongoing effort required to maintain a life situation that deviates from our natural state of equilibrium.

"I am aware that this place is not my natural tendency. And I am okay with that, because that place gives me a, b and c."

The speaker is acknowledging the conscious trade-off between the current state and natural tendencies, accepting it due to the benefits it provides.

"I'm heading from that place to that point of equilibrium. That could be by saying, in the next seven years, I'm not going to do anything about it, but in seven years time, I'm going to start to head in that equilibrium."

This quote discusses the idea of planning for a future transition towards a natural state of equilibrium, accepting the current state for the time being.

"I know it's not my equilibrium, but I'm going to do it anyway because that's what I believe in."

The speaker expresses a commitment to their current path despite recognizing it's not their equilibrium, driven by personal beliefs.

Prioritizing Life's Pendulums

  • Humans tend to leave multiple aspects of life out of balance.
  • Prioritizing aspects of life can help focus efforts and achieve a sense of equilibrium in each, one at a time.
  • It's important to accept the imbalances without guilt.
  • Life can be approached linearly by resolving one issue before moving on to the next.

"The other thing that humans do, most of us, is we leave a lot of pendulums out of equilibrium."

The speaker points out that it's common for people to have various aspects of their lives that are not in balance.

"And then the game is, if you want your work to actually benefit, put the others in equilibrium, or acknowledge to yourself that they're not, but don't complain about it, don't feel bad about it."

This quote suggests that recognizing and accepting imbalances can help improve focus on the highest priority without negative emotions.

"In physics, it's basically instead of the parallel processing of trying to fix all of them at the same time, you're simply saying, I'm going to process them in series."

The speaker compares life management to a serial processing approach in physics, emphasizing the idea of tackling one issue at a time rather than all simultaneously.

Reflection and Self-Awareness

  • Constant reflection and investigation into one's life is a shared human experience.
  • Recognizing the journey towards equilibrium can provide comfort in knowing others share the same struggles.

"Constantly, constantly searching and constantly reflecting and investigating and finding that equal helped you close."

The speaker shares the notion that ongoing self-reflection and the search for balance is a common and continuous process for many people, suggesting a shared human experience.

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