Matina's Journey From Loneliness to Overflow

Martina, a holistic healing and divorce recovery coach, shares her personal journey from loneliness to a fulfilling life of love and purpose. She emphasizes the importance of asking quality, future-focused questions to unlock one's inner potential and shift from external validation to internal self-worth. Inspired by Tony Robbins, Martina discusses how changing her mindset from "why me?" to "what do I want?" transformed her life. She advocates for self-awareness, questioning societal norms, and embracing personal growth to achieve an abundant life. Her story aims to inspire others to pursue healing and deeper connections.

• Host introduction: Martina, a holistic healing coach and divorce recovery coach.
• Podcast focus: Helping those struggling with loneliness, disconnection, and feeling stuck.
• Objective: Discover inner potential and live a life overflowing with love and connection.

"This podcast is for those who are struggling with the feelings of loneliness, disconnection, feeling stuck, and who are ready to discover their inner potential and live a life overflowing with love and connection."

• The podcast aims to support individuals on their journey from pain to transformation.

• Martina shares her personal journey from loneliness to abundance.
• She describes feeling empty despite building a life she believed in.
• The realization that she was searching for something more.

"I was now two years in my separation, building a life that I truly believed in. But yet there was something empty inside of me, something that was telling me, it isn't enough, there's more."

• Martina's experience of feeling lonely even in the midst of people and chaos.

"All my life I've had so many moments where I felt lonely, where I felt alone. Even in the midst of chaos, even in the midst of people, even in the midst of not knowing where my life was truly going."

• Martina's discovery of Tony Robbins' videos as a turning point.
• The importance of asking quality, future-based questions.

"As I sat down with the questions that Tony Robbins was sharing in his videos, as I sat down and looked at those questions, they were all future-based. None of them was past-based."

• The shift from focusing on what she didn't want to understanding what she truly wanted.

"It wasn't about analyzing and sitting with the past. It was truly about who are you? What do you want? I knew what I didn't want."

• Martina's early belief in a societal "magic box" of life goals.
• The idea that a good education, job, partner, children, home, and vacations would lead to a perfect life.

"From a very young age, I was given this magic box. And this magic box truly only said, what you need is a good education, a good job, a partner to go to children, to raise, have a home, have cars, and go on these beautiful vacations."

• Realization that achieving these external goals did not fulfill her.

"I had that life. I lived that life. But in that life, I felt alone. In my marriage, I felt alone. Growing up as a little girl, I felt alone."

• The societal focus on external achievements for fulfillment.
• The lack of internal self-inquiry and understanding one's true desires.

"I was so focused on the external. I was so focused on what life was telling and teaching me."

• The need for internal reflection and asking oneself meaningful questions.

"Nothing in my life, from that little girl moment to the adult woman that I am today, asked what I wanted, asked where I was living and where I wanted to go to."

• Martina's realization that the "magic box" was not her everything.
• Acceptance of the end of her marriage and the different value systems between her and her husband.

"I also realized that my vision of life, my value system in life, was different than my husband's. Now, there's no right or wrong here. We both have our own journeys. The relationship didn't last. That's okay. We both grew from it."

• The importance of being okay with the changes and growth from the relationship.

"But I had to really come to be okay with that. The magic box that I thought that was going to be my everything, wasn't my everything."

• Martina's countless moments of loneliness and questioning why things were happening to her.
• The significance of self-inquiry during these moments of loneliness.

"I can tell you countless moments where I was crying in my bed alone, asking myself, why is this happening to me?"

• The journey of moving from questioning to understanding and healing.

"And that question alone..."

• Transition from asking "Why me?" to "What am I calling into my life?"
• Focus on internal factors and personal growth rather than external circumstances.
• Recognize the power and control one has over their life and decisions.

"Why me? Is such a loaded question that's focused in on, oh, my gosh, poor me, look at me. And it's a victim mentality."

• Emphasizes how the "Why me?" question fosters a victim mentality and external focus.

"When you ask yourself, who are you? What are you calling into your life? And you get so crystal clear as to what that is, and you live that frequency every single day your life will shift."

• Highlights the importance of clarity in self-identity and intentions for life transformation.

• Asking quality questions leads to self-discovery and personal growth.
• Reflecting on one's worth and capabilities can shift perspective and behavior.
• Loneliness and other negative emotions can be addressed through introspective questioning.

"In those loneliness moments, I ask myself quality questions. Okay, this is happening. I don't like this. What can I do?"

• Illustrates the use of quality questions to navigate through loneliness and negative emotions.

"Where in me am I showing up and not really, truly vocalizing what I believe in? Where in me am I playing small?"

• Encourages self-examination of areas where one might be limiting themselves or not expressing true beliefs.

• Self-worth should not be based on external validation but on internal values and contributions.
• Questioning societal norms and personal beliefs about worthiness.
• Understanding that one is worthy of love and success regardless of external factors.

"I really started recognizing how much value I was putting out in the world based on other people, not based on who I am from my heart and soul."

• Reflects the shift from external validation to internal self-worth.

"Am I also worthy right now? Am I worthy right now? That question really hit hard because I didn't feel worthy."

• Highlights the critical self-reflection on worthiness and the impact of societal and external judgments.

• Encourages living beyond societal expectations and norms.
• Emphasizes the importance of personal fulfillment and living authentically.
• Recognizes that individuals are not limited to traditional roles and can strive for more.

"I tell you, you're not here to do a nine to five job, to raise your children, to have a partner alone. All of those things are wonderful. All of those things you are worthy of."

• Challenges traditional life roles and encourages seeking personal fulfillment beyond them.

"When you start to believe, when you start to show up with this energy of I am worthy and I'm coming here with this energy of I don't need to cling to you."

• Suggests that self-worth and personal energy can lead to healthier, non-clingy relationships.

• Understanding and valuing oneself enhances the ability to value others.
• Self-assurance reduces dependency and clinginess in relationships.
• Recognizes the strength and resilience to face life's challenges independently.

"The reason why I can see your value is because I'm seeing my value. The reason why I don't need to cling to you is because I know that whatever life throws at me..."

• Connects self-value with the ability to appreciate others and maintain healthy relationships.

• The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and questioning one's identity and desires.
• Recognizing the disparity between current reality and aspirations is crucial for growth.
• The process involves raising one's frequency and stepping into self-belief and empowerment.

"We get to decide first who we are, what we want in this life."

• Highlighting the power of personal choice in defining one's identity and life goals.

"The question that I started asking myself is literally like, who is Matina? Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up in this world? What do I believe in?"

• Illustrates the process of self-inquiry and its role in personal development.

"I recognized that my current reality wasn't what I had down on paper."

• Identifies the gap between one's aspirations and current state, prompting the need for change.

• The speaker discusses the challenge of believing in one's worthiness of great things.
• Childhood conditioning and limiting beliefs often restrict one's potential and sense of worth.
• The journey involves expanding one's comfort zone and embracing greater possibilities.

"When I wrote down that I am worthy of great things, did I truly believe that? No."

• Acknowledges the difficulty in internalizing affirmations of worthiness.

"My younger self, my inner child, would be like, no, no, no, no. I can only want this much."

• Describes the inner conflict between desire and deeply ingrained limitations.

"I needed to understand that this little bubble could grow to be bigger and bigger."

• Emphasizes the potential for growth beyond self-imposed limitations.

• The speaker contrasts the scarcity mindset with the abundance mindset.
• Scarcity mindset involves fear and disbelief in one's worthiness of more.
• Abundance mindset requires believing in one's potential to receive and grow.

"You believe that this is enough. You don't believe that this can be grown."

• Defines the scarcity mindset and its impact on personal growth.

"I have more potential to really, truly see that every cell in my body believe that I'm worthy as I am."

• Advocates for embracing an abundance mindset and recognizing inherent worthiness.

• External influences such as family, school, and societal norms shape one's beliefs and behaviors.
• Questioning these external influences is essential to align with one's true self.
• The speaker encourages asking quality questions to discern true desires from imposed beliefs.

"The belief system doesn't come from my internal self. It actually comes from external factors."

• Highlights the role of external conditioning in shaping one's belief system.

"Is this something that resonates with me, that I truly, fully, wholeheartedly believe in?"

• Encourages introspection to differentiate between internal desires and external pressures.

• Personal growth involves connecting with one's holistic self and disconnecting from limiting systems.
• Recognizing connections that affirm worthiness and disconnections from unserving beliefs is key.

"You're going to see the connection and the disconnection, the connection to you as a holistic person."

• Describes the process of identifying supportive and non-supportive influences.

"The disconnection from systems, from places, from ways of being and living that don't serve you."

• Emphasizes the importance of distancing oneself from limiting environments and beliefs.

• Revisiting past experiences helps understand the origins of limiting beliefs.
• Childhood experiences often shape one's self-perception and behavior patterns.
• Questioning past conditioning can lead to greater self-awareness and empowerment.

"I had to go back into my past to understand that when I was growing up, that little girl who was allowed to be seen but not heard."

• Reflects on childhood experiences to uncover the roots of limiting beliefs.

"I was receiving that not as information to question, but as facts."

• Acknowledges how past conditioning was accepted without question, shaping current beliefs.

• Realization that specific behaviors lead to acceptance and safety.
• Suppressing personal beliefs and feelings to fit in or maintain harmony.
• Struggling with self-worth and external validation.

"So I quickly understood that if I behave in this specific way, I will be accepted, I will belong, I will be safe."

• Recognition that behavior modification is driven by the need for acceptance and safety.

"In my marriage, when there were disagreements or when there were things that weren't really in alignment with what I believed in, I started telling myself, this is everyone. Everyone goes through this. It's okay. I'll figure it out."

• Suppressing personal beliefs and feelings to maintain harmony in relationships.

• Fear of making mistakes and harming children.
• Shift from external validation to internal guidance in parenting.
• Seeking resources and changing approaches based on personal values.

"Raising children, having that sense of responsibility on me, being so scared to do it wrong, to scar them for life."

• Anxiety about parenting and the potential negative impact on children.

"Once I started asking how do I want to raise them, I started looking for resources. I started doing things differently."

• Transition to a more intentional and resourceful approach to parenting.

• Letting go of outdated solutions and embracing new ones.
• Holding onto deeply resonant practices.
• Striving to do one's best despite societal pressures.

"Some solutions you will grow out of, some solution will just naturally go away and others you will hold on to as there's no tomorrow because it resonates so deeply with you."

• Understanding that personal growth involves evolving solutions and practices.

"At the end of the day, I believe that we all are out to do our best. But the best in society is so external based and not internal based."

• Critique of societal standards and the importance of internal validation.

• Importance of asking meaningful questions rather than self-pitying ones.
• Shifting focus from self-criticism to constructive self-reflection.
• Embracing personal responsibility and future-oriented thinking.

"Give yourself a gift of questions, quality questions, not the why me? Questions. Because the simple answer is why not?"

• Encouragement to ask empowering questions rather than self-defeating ones.

"When I ask the question, why me? I'm going to come up with 80% of the answers going to be about how I am showing up, I'm going to be hard on me, I'm going to put myself down."

• Recognition that self-pitying questions lead to negative self-judgment.

• Mindset's profound impact on personal experiences and relationships.
• Inspiring others through personal growth and resilience.
• Reducing the influence of the inner critic over time.

"Feel inspired to embrace your healing, unlocking your inner beautiful potential. Because I promise you, once you start seeing the overflow of your mindset and how your mindset truly impacts the way the world shows up for you, you're going to impact so many more lives than you could ever imagine."

• Encouragement to embrace personal healing and its broader impact.

"They're going to see and feel and embrace what is truly happening in their lives. They're going to feel inspired by you. Are they going to see you struggle? Perhaps. But they're also going to see you thrive."

• Acknowledgment that personal growth can inspire and positively affect others.

• Emphasizing inherent worthiness and self-acceptance.
• Choosing how to show up and who to keep in one's life.
• The importance of self-compassion and internal safety.

"Feeling and knowing that you are worthy as you are, that you belong in this world, that the safety is within you, that you get to choose how you show up, who stays and who remains in your life and who doesn't."

• Emphasis on self-worth, belonging, and personal choice in relationships.

"We are harder on ourselves and the things that we say to ourselves, we would never, ever say to a best friend the way that we treat ourselves, we would not treat someone else."

• Highlighting the need for self-compassion and kinder self-talk.

• Transforming loneliness into a source of abundance and love for others.
• The metaphor of a full cup overflowing to benefit others.
• Encouragement to share love and light from a place of personal fulfillment.

"My loneliness moments elevated me into my overflow moments and as my cup is full and as I am overflowing my cup, I have this beautiful saucer through which I can overflow my love and light to others with and I hope you will do the same."

• Using personal growth and fulfillment to positively impact others.