Declutter Slowly | The Minimalists Ep. 410

In this episode of The Minimalist Podcast, host Joshua Fields Milburn, alongside co-host TK Coleman, discusses the concept of decluttering as a tool rather than an end goal, emphasizing that clutter is merely debris on the road to a more meaningful life. They address listener questions about decluttering at a slow pace and the emotional attachment to items like coupons, exploring the idea that busyness and clutter can serve as distractions from facing deeper fears and dreams. The conversation highlights the importance of intentional living and making space for what truly matters, encouraging listeners to let go of items that don't add value to their lives.

• Clutter is considered as "debris in the road," not a final destination. The goal of decluttering is not just to declutter but to create space for something more meaningful.
• Decluttering should not be rushed; a slow, mindful approach can prevent the process from becoming overwhelming.
• Decluttering is a tool, similar to a hammer, used to build a life by removing obstacles, not an end in itself.

"Clutter is debris in the road; it is not a destination, and the same thing is true with decluttering. Decluttering is not the end result; it's not your end game; it's not your goal to simply declutter."

• Decluttering should be viewed as a means to an end, not the ultimate goal.

• Decluttering can be used as a form of procrastination to avoid facing larger issues or goals.
• People often use busyness as a defense mechanism to avoid the demands of the world.
• It's important to recognize when decluttering is being used to procrastinate on pursuing dreams or addressing personal challenges.

"Busyness is a defense mechanism that we erect to protect ourselves from the world's demands."

• The act of staying busy with tasks like decluttering can be a way to avoid tackling more significant issues or fears.

• Change doesn't need to happen overnight; gradual steps can lead to significant progress.
• Just as clutter accumulates over time, it can be removed over time without feeling overwhelmed.
• Embrace the process of letting go, understanding that it can be done incrementally.

"You don't accumulate clutter overnight; you also don't have to deconstruct your life overnight."

• The process of decluttering and pursuing dreams can be approached step by step, without the pressure to achieve everything immediately.

• Setting boundaries is essential to prevent decluttering from becoming an endless task.
• Having clear goals and boundaries helps in maintaining focus on what truly adds value to life.
• The minimalist rule book offers guidelines for creating boundaries and living with less.

"If you don't have any boundaries, you just keep decluttering, decluttering, and now you think this is the point of what you're doing, but that's not the destination."

• Boundaries help in maintaining focus and preventing the endless cycle of decluttering without purpose.

• Decluttering and pursuing dreams can be balanced by taking small, consistent steps in both areas.
• Journaling about dreams and goals can help in clarifying what truly matters and what steps to take next.
• Allowing space for dreams and decluttering simultaneously can lead to a more fulfilling life.

"While you're decluttering a little bit at a time, you can take five to ten minutes a day to say, 'I don't need to do anything about my dreams, but I'm just going to journal about it for five minutes today.'"

• Balancing decluttering with dreaming involves small, consistent actions in both areas to create meaningful progress.

• Coupons and just-in-case items can create clutter and mental stress.
• Evaluate the true value of keeping such items and the likelihood of their future use.
• Consider the minimal financial impact of discarding these items versus the mental clarity gained from decluttering.

"These coupons came in the products I purchase online, usually they're 10, 15, 20% off, so I'm keeping them, they're on my fridge, but every time when I look at them, they're such clutter to my eyes."

• The mental clutter caused by holding onto just-in-case items like coupons may outweigh the potential financial savings.

• The idea is to evaluate possessions, relationships, and obligations based on whether they elicit a strong positive response ("hell yes") or not.
• If something does not evoke a "hell yes" feeling, it is considered a "no," and it is okay to let it go.
• Letting go of things that do not serve you can lead to a sense of freedom, despite potential discomfort or regret.

"If it feels like a no, let it go. How do I know that it is a no? Because it's not a hell yes."

• This quote emphasizes the importance of clear, enthusiastic affirmation in decision-making about what to keep or let go.

"It doesn't mean that you won't feel a slight twinge of discomfort and maybe even a little tiny bit of regret for letting something go, but that is the price of your freedom."

• The speaker acknowledges that letting go can be uncomfortable but highlights the long-term benefit of freedom.

• Discusses the psychological impact of holding onto things "just in case," such as coupons.
• Suggests practical steps like taking photos of coupons instead of keeping physical ones.
• Points out that expiration dates on coupons are often artificial, designed to create urgency.

"Practically, if I were in your shoes, I would let these coupons go. But if I also felt like, yeah, these aren't just in case, there are a few I'm certain I'm going to use, I'd simply take photos of them."

• The speaker offers a practical solution to manage the clutter of coupons without losing potential value.

"The psychological clutter that is caused by, 'Oh, I should hold on to this little trinket,' we pretend that coupons are savings vouchers from a benevolent corporation."

• Highlights the mental burden of holding onto items that may not provide real value.

• Explores the internal conflict of wanting to keep things versus wanting to let them go.
• Encourages questioning the true cost of clutter, both in terms of physical space and mental peace.
• Suggests evaluating what clutter is costing in terms of quality of life.

"What is your clutter costing you? I would sit with that for a minute, not because coupons are so important that you should spend hours thinking about them, but because problems tend to manifest in a variety of different ways."

• Encourages introspection on the broader implications of clutter beyond the immediate physical space.

"People compromise their peace in all sorts of ways to save 30 seconds here, 60 seconds there."

• Points out the irony of sacrificing peace of mind for minor conveniences or savings.

• Discusses the emotional and psychological growth that comes from letting go of possessions.
• Highlights the importance of questioning the value of things regularly.
• Suggests that letting go can be a spiritual practice, helping to expand comfort zones.

"Letting go of some of the things that we're holding on to just in case, even things that you know you will use or likely are going to use in the future, man, that is almost a spiritual practice."

• Emphasizes the transformative potential of letting go as a means of personal growth.

"I can let go of any of these things, even the things that I think that I want. I can let go of those, and even that as a practice, it stretches my comfort or my discomfort zone."

• Highlights the challenge and reward of releasing attachments to possessions.

• Shares a story about a hoarder to illustrate the extreme consequences of not letting go.
• Describes the compulsion to keep things due to perceived deals and value.
• Warns against allowing clutter to waste one's peace of mind and life energy.

"This person is a true hoarder. One of the things he described is he says there was one room... a room full of condiments like fully packaged, never opened barbecue sauce, seasonings, salt, pepper."

• Provides a vivid example of how hoarding can manifest in extreme accumulation of unnecessary items.

"You better trash that stuff before it trashes your life. You got to let go of the guilt that says it would be wasteful of me to get rid of something."

• Advises against letting guilt prevent decluttering, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing one's well-being over holding onto items out of a sense of obligation.

• Negotiating for discounts, even in everyday situations, can lead to unexpected savings and increased confidence in social interactions.
• The act of asking for discounts helps in overcoming discomfort and building resilience against rejection.

"For one year, one day a week, no matter what you're buying that day, he had me negotiate for it."

• This quote emphasizes the power of consistently practicing negotiation to build confidence and save money.

"The easiest way to save money is to not spend it in the first place."

• Highlights the importance of mindful spending and avoiding unnecessary purchases.

• Embracing minimalism can help alleviate feelings of being overwhelmed by material possessions.
• Letting go of unnecessary items can lead to a more meaningful and simplified life.

"Maybe this is your sign to get your [ __ ] together if it's feeling right now like you're overwhelmed by material possessions."

• Suggests the importance of recognizing when it's time to declutter and simplify life.

"If it feels like a no, Let It Go."

• Encourages letting go of things that do not contribute positively to one's life.

• Lower-income individuals may spend on luxury items as a form of signaling, despite financial constraints.
• The rich may have the luxury of making reckless financial decisions without immediate consequences.

"The wastefulness of the rich is a luxury that the poor cannot afford."

• Indicates that financial recklessness is a privilege not available to those with limited resources.

"Rich people are not immune to the poverty mindset."

• Suggests that financial habits and mindsets can persist regardless of income level.

• People often buy luxury items to signal success, but this can lead to financial instability.
• There is a misconception that minimalism is only for the wealthy, but it is beneficial for everyone.

"We're often buying things to signal... Look how together my baby is."

• Points out that purchases are sometimes made to project a certain image rather than out of necessity.

"If you have to charge it to a credit card, you can't afford it."

• Emphasizes the importance of financial responsibility and avoiding debt.

• Environmental factors and upbringing can influence financial decisions and behaviors.
• Exposure to certain lifestyles can perpetuate cycles of poor financial management.

"I grew up really poor in a home that was filled with dysfunction."

• Reflects on how upbringing can shape financial habits and perceptions.

"Everyone smoked everyone drank... Why is that so?"

• Questions the environmental and cultural factors that lead to certain financial behaviors.

• People in poverty often make choices that seem irrational to outsiders due to their immediate needs and limited options.
• Purchasing decisions, such as buying expensive shoes or alcohol, are influenced by social and economic signals within their community.
• The poverty mindset can lead to unintentional and wasteful spending habits, which perpetuate the cycle of poverty.

"When you look at somebody that has a $200 pair of shoes, I'm not saying that's the best decision, but we got to understand psychologically, sociologically why that happens."

• Expensive items can serve as social tools and economic signals, offering protection and social standing within a community.

"If you want to stay stuck in that cycle, well, continue to be unintentional with the purchasing decisions that you make."

• Making unintentional purchasing decisions can keep individuals trapped in a cycle of poverty.

• Minimalism involves making intentional choices about what to keep in one's life, which can lead to financial stability and freedom.
• Personal spaces should be designed to be warm and inviting to the individual, reflecting their energy and preferences.
• Minimalism is not about deprivation but about making thoughtful choices that enhance one's life.

"I would say within the realm of what's affordable, design your place in a way that makes you feel warm and inviting."

• Personal spaces should reflect one's preferences and make them feel comfortable, which in turn radiates warmth and invitation to others.

"The way people feel when they are in your space is a reflection of the energy that you radiate."

• The energy you bring into your space influences how others perceive and feel in it.

• The process of letting go of physical items, like photos, can be therapeutic and freeing.
• Sharing memories with others can provide closure and help in the process of decluttering.

"I've managed to let go of so much stuff, and it's really felt freeing, but I've continued to cling to my hard copy photos even though I've scanned and saved them."

• Holding onto sentimental items can be challenging, but letting go can lead to a sense of freedom.

"It allowed me to get closure from the many lives I feel like I've lived in these photos and say goodbye to some of the baggage I was clinging to."

• Letting go of sentimental items can provide emotional closure and reduce the burden of physical clutter.

• Community interactions and shared experiences can provide new perspectives and support in a minimalist journey.
• Engaging with others through platforms like Patreon can offer opportunities for learning and personal growth.

"I enjoyed putting together a bundle of the photos to send her for her birthday as a unique experience."

• Sharing personal memories can create meaningful connections and provide a unique experience for both parties involved.

"I hope someone else can find this exercise as useful and therapeutic as I did."

• Personal experiences in decluttering and minimalism can be valuable and inspiring to others on a similar path.