Disappointment (How to Get Over Disappointment) - Teal Swan

The discussion delves into the theme of disappointment, focusing on the anticipation and management of such feelings. It highlights how expecting disappointment can lead to a constriction of joy and a self-fulfilling prophecy of negative outcomes. The speaker suggests practical steps to combat this mindset, including visualization techniques to reinforce the belief in one's ability to create their own reality. Strategies for coping with disappointment include allowing oneself to feel disappointment fully, gaining perspective, practicing non-attachment, and remaining open to new opportunities. The overarching message encourages resilience and the pursuit of desires despite setbacks.

• People often expect disappointment in life, which leads to a constriction of joy and positive emotions.
• There is a sense of comfort and safety in negative emotional states like sadness because it prevents further disappointment.
• Individuals who expect disappointment often feel a sense of powerlessness and believe that good things will inevitably lead to a fall.

"You might be one of those people who doesn't let yourself get your hopes up."

• This quote highlights the tendency of some individuals to avoid raising their expectations to prevent potential disappointment.

"Those of us who expect disappointment do not let ourselves feel positive emotion."

• This statement underscores how expecting disappointment can prevent individuals from experiencing joy and happiness.

"We feel a kind of familiar safe comfort when we are feeling negative emotional states like sadness."

• The quote explains the comfort found in negative emotions, as they are perceived as safe and predictable.

"We live our lives according to the belief that the universe is out to get us and that the higher they rise the harder they fall."

• This reflects the belief in an inevitable downfall following any positive experience, reinforcing the expectation of disappointment.

• Many who expect disappointment see themselves as inherently disappointing due to early life experiences.
• Feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness are often rooted in childhood interactions with authority figures.
• A belief that one is undeserving of good things perpetuates the cycle of expecting disappointment.

"We expect ourselves to be a disappointment."

• This quote reveals the internalized belief of being a disappointment, often stemming from childhood experiences.

"Nothing we ever do is good enough to mean that we have worth and value."

• The statement reflects the pervasive sense of inadequacy and the struggle to feel worthy.

"We believe we’re not worthy of positive treatment by the universe."

• This highlights the belief in unworthiness and the expectation that good things are not deserved.

• Expecting disappointment can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy, where negative expectations shape reality.
• Reminding someone of this pattern can cause shame and further anxiety rather than help.
• It's crucial to provide evidence against the inevitability of disappointment to break this cycle.

"When mind creates reality and you expect disappointment, you are literally in the creation pattern of disappointment."

• This quote illustrates how negative expectations can manifest into reality, reinforcing the cycle of disappointment.

"The very worst thing you can do is to remind someone that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy."

• The statement cautions against pointing out the self-fulfilling nature of disappointment, as it can lead to further negative emotions.

• Creating a list of instances where expected disappointment did not occur can help challenge negative beliefs.
• Recognizing when outcomes were better than expected can weaken the attachment to disappointment.
• Building evidence against the inevitability of disappointment can shift one's mindset towards a more positive outlook.

"It's important to make a list of times that you expected disappointment, or the worst-case scenario to happen, and it didn't occur."

• This quote suggests a practical strategy to counteract the expectation of disappointment by focusing on positive outcomes.

"When you are looking at proof that disappointment does not always happen to you, your brain cannot attach the expectation of disappointment with so much fervor anymore."

• The statement emphasizes the importance of evidence in changing the mindset and reducing the expectation of disappointment.

• The fear and expectation of disappointment stem from a belief in powerlessness.
• People who expect disappointment often feel they do not create their own reality.
• This belief is rooted in the idea that life happens to them, without their control.
• The core issue is the belief that something larger and more powerful than themselves determines their life experience.

"The only people who fear disappointment are those who think that they do not ultimately have control over their lives."

• This quote underscores the connection between fear of disappointment and the belief in a lack of personal control over life circumstances.

• Visualization is suggested as a method to prove to oneself that they can create their own reality.
• The exercise involves focusing on a neutral subject for five minutes daily over two weeks.
• Choosing a neutral subject minimizes resistance and allows pure focus.
• The exercise aims to demonstrate the law of attraction, where focused thoughts become part of one's reality.

"The way to do this is to use visualization every day only 5 minutes a day, no more."

• The quote emphasizes the importance of a daily, time-bound visualization practice to cultivate belief in one's ability to shape reality.

• Resistance arises from deeply held beliefs that conflict with desired outcomes.
• Focusing on neutral subjects, like bowling balls, avoids resistance and allows clearer visualization.
• The goal is to gradually build belief in creating reality before tackling subjects with more emotional weight.

"The reason I want you to pick something that doesn't matter to you, is because you don't have a whole lot of resistance to that particular subject."

• This quote explains the rationale behind choosing neutral subjects to practice visualization, highlighting the role of resistance in the process.

• The law of attraction posits that focused thoughts must manifest in reality.
• Visualization aligns one's vibration with the subject, drawing it into one's experience.
• Recognizing the mind's role in creating reality can dismantle feelings of powerlessness and reduce expectations of disappointment.

"The law of attraction makes it so that it's a universal law that whatever you focus on, is now included in your vibration and must become a part of your reality, according to your own personal beliefs."

• The quote explains how the law of attraction operates, reinforcing the idea that focused attention creates tangible outcomes.

• Expecting disappointment is linked to worry and feelings of undeservingness.
• Viewing related resources, such as videos on deservingness and stopping worry, can provide additional support in overcoming these issues.

"Worrying is tied in integrally with expecting disappointment. And so is the idea that one doesn't deserve."

• This quote highlights the interconnectedness of worry, undeservingness, and the expectation of disappointment, suggesting further exploration of these themes.

• Allowing oneself to feel and express disappointment is crucial for processing it.
• Resistance to experiencing disappointment can prolong the feeling, while expression can facilitate moving through it.
• Expression can be through communication with others or journaling.

"Let yourself feel and express that disappointment. Admit to it."

• The quote advises embracing and articulating feelings of disappointment as a means to effectively process and move past them.

• Embrace and explore the emotions and sensations associated with disappointment without trying to change them.
• Genuine readiness to move forward is essential and can only be achieved by facing and understanding your feelings of disappointment.
• Avoid expecting yourself to simply "get over it" without processing the emotions involved.

"You need to be genuinely ready to move forward in order to move forward. And you can't do that until you face disappointment and have faced what you feel."

• This quote emphasizes the importance of confronting and understanding disappointment as a prerequisite for personal growth and moving forward.

• Involving others in your disappointment can provide new perspectives and help you see the situation differently.
• It's crucial to fully experience your own emotions before seeking external perspectives to avoid invalidating your feelings.

"It's a good idea to involve other people in your disappointment. Why? Because their perspective may serve you, to look at the situation in a different way."

• The quote highlights the value of external perspectives in gaining a broader understanding of disappointment, while stressing the importance of processing personal emotions first.

• Many people personalize disappointment, leading to self-blame and shame.
• Understanding that experiences are not about deserving or not deserving is key to gaining insight.
• The law of attraction mirrors your dominant thoughts and is impartial, not a punishment.

"Insight about the experience can only come if you are not taking it personally. You aren't going to learn anything if you're beating yourself up or shaming yourself."

• This quote underscores the necessity of avoiding self-blame to gain true insight from disappointing experiences.

• Stay open to the possibility of a silver lining in disappointing situations.
• What seems disappointing might not align with your true desires, and something better could be forthcoming.
• Writing about positive aspects of a disappointment can prevent negative spirals.

"Finding approval for something that has disappointed us is one of the most crucial steps to overcoming disappointment."

• The quote suggests that finding positives in disappointment is vital for overcoming and moving through such experiences.

• Desire without attachment to outcomes is possible and beneficial.
• Non-attachment is about trusting the universe to deliver desires in unforeseen ways, unlike detachment, which is a defense mechanism.
• Being overly attached to specific outcomes can limit potential opportunities.

"Non attachment is a practice of trust and allowing the universe to deliver your desires to you in ways that you cannot even foresee yet."

• This quote differentiates between non-attachment and detachment, emphasizing trust in the universe's role in fulfilling desires.

• Disappointment signals the need for change and offers a chance to reevaluate and learn.
• Use insights from disappointment to adjust future approaches and strategies.
• Learning should be empowering and not about expecting future disappointments.

"Disappointments are often an indication that something needs to be changed. Disappointment provides an opportunity to reevaluate."

• The quote indicates that disappointment can be a catalyst for reassessment and positive change, rather than a reason to expect future failures.

• Disappointment often serves as a catalyst for radical change and innovation.
• Historical inventions frequently follow periods of significant disappointment, driving individuals to make transformative changes that ultimately succeed.

"Inventions in human history have been the result of massive disappointment. They've come on the heels of disappointment because that disappointment was just jarring enough, to make people change things radically."

• Disappointment acts as a powerful motivator for change, prompting individuals to seek innovative solutions.

• Recognizing and appreciating current positives in life can counteract feelings of lack and disappointment.
• Focusing on gratitude helps to shift perspective from absence to abundance.

"Take note of things that are going right for you right here and now. Things that you have, that you enjoy."

• Acknowledging existing joys and successes can mitigate feelings of deprivation and enhance overall life satisfaction.

• Disappointment can significantly damage self-confidence, making it crucial to avoid taking action from this emotional state.
• Allowing time for inspiration to emerge is essential to avoid actions driven by desperation, which often lead to negative outcomes.

"Disappointment is a serious self blow to our self-confidence. So we don't want to take any kind of action from that vibrational set point."

• Acting from a place of desperation is counterproductive and typically results in unfavorable outcomes.

• Taking small, manageable steps can help rebuild confidence and foster a renewed sense of positive expectation.
• Gradual progress reinforces the belief that desired outcomes are attainable.

"When you do begin again to go in the direction of what you want, think baby steps."

• Incremental achievements bolster confidence and facilitate the journey towards larger goals.

• Disappointment can signal the closure of one opportunity and the opening of another.
• Remaining open to unforeseen opportunities can reveal that unmet desires may lead to better outcomes.

"When God closes a door, he opens a window."

• The closure of one path often leads to the opening of another, potentially more beneficial, opportunity.

• Continuously pursuing dreams and desires is essential to a meaningful life.
• Disappointment should not deter individuals from striving towards happiness and passion.

"Never stopped going in the direction of what you want and never give up. Life is meaningless if it is not lived for the purpose of happiness and passion."

• A life dedicated to pursuing joy and passion remains meaningful despite setbacks.

• Achieving desires is crucial for both universal and personal growth, as it leads to new perspectives and further expansion.
• Disappointment is not in the best interest of universal progression, indicating that desires are meant to be fulfilled.

"Universal expansion and even personal expansion can only happen as the result of lining up with your new desires."

• Fulfillment of desires is essential for achieving new perspectives and facilitating personal and universal growth.

• Disappointment is inherently temporary and not aligned with the universe's interest in expansion.
• All desired outcomes are meant to be realized, affirming that disappointment is a transient state.

"This means that all disappointment is temporary."

• Disappointment is a fleeting experience, and desired outcomes are ultimately intended to be achieved.