In this episode of 20 VC, host Harry Stebbings discusses the often-overlooked topic of mental health in the venture capital and entrepreneurial space with Nick Mehta, CEO of Gainsight. Delving into themes of vulnerability, the pressure of success, and the stigma surrounding mental health, Nick shares personal anecdotes about growing up feeling like an outsider, his journey with self-development, and the challenges of balancing a high-achieving mindset with personal contentment. They also touch on the importance of instilling work ethic in privileged children and the complexities of identity tied to professional achievements. Harry and Nick's conversation serves as a candid exploration of the emotional landscape that many leaders navigate, highlighting the need for more openness and vulnerability within the tech ecosystem.
"A friend once told me everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about and I always think to that one very often."
This quote emphasizes the often invisible personal struggles individuals face, reinforcing the need for mental health awareness.
"Last year, as a result of their incredible success, Gainsight was acquired by Vista for a reported $1.1 billion."
This quote highlights the significant achievement of Gainsight under Nick Mater's leadership, showcasing the company's success and impact in its industry.
"More than 16,000 companies issue equity to their employees through Carter."
This quote demonstrates the widespread adoption of Carter's services, indicating its value proposition in the equity management space for companies.
"I joined a CEO peer group, international group called YPO Young Presidents Organization... And so I just kind of unearthed a lot of stuff."
This quote reveals how joining a peer group led to personal growth and a greater awareness of mental health for Nick.
"I ate alone at lunch, which kind of lunch is like the litmus test... It's the litmus test. Like, are you with all the friends around you laughing, or are you on your own?"
This quote conveys the profound impact of childhood isolation on Nick's sense of belonging and social interactions.
"I absolutely want people to like me and constantly am not sure whether people really like me or not."
This quote captures Nick's internal struggle with self-doubt and the need for external validation.
"I'm a three. Like, I'm the most hardcore three you could possibly imagine."
This quote suggests that Nick's personality is strongly aligned with the traits of an enneagram three, which includes a focus on performance and approval-seeking.
"I have this part of me that's deeply inquisitive about existentialism... And I'm a big into physics, too, so, like, what the universe is and what time is."
This quote reveals an intellectual side of Nick that is passionate about understanding the fundamental aspects of reality and existence.## Identity and Authenticity
"Yeah, I do. And I think that there's a part of my day or my week, where I feel like I have no external self judgment or wondering what people think or thinking about whether I'm successful or not."
This quote highlights Nick's experience of feeling authentic and free from external judgment during certain parts of his day, particularly when with his children.
"Like, they don't. Do you know Ozzy Medais? Have you heard of Ozzy Medais? Oh, my gosh. You got. Okay, so another. I'm dropping a lot of knowledge here."
This quote introduces the poem "Ozymandias" as a metaphor for the impermanence of achievements and legacies.
"But I feel like the metaphor I have is it's a train, and I'm the conductor in the front and handcuff myself. To the steering wheel."
The metaphor of being handcuffed to the steering wheel of a train conveys Nick's sense of obligation and inescapability regarding his leadership role at Gainsight.
"But not everyone seems to emote that. And actually, what I've figured out is, actually, those people under the covers do care about it, but they don't always feel open to talking about it."
Nick observes that while many people care about deeper issues, there is often a reluctance to discuss them openly, contributing to a sense of loneliness.
"So short answer is yes, but I've learned that I can't do it all because I don't think any partner, it's not like their job to take every single thing you're dealing with."
Nick acknowledges the need to share his struggles but also the importance of not relying solely on his partner for emotional support.
"I do feel like that. So I do feel, not that I have to be strong because we're big into vulnerability as a family, but that I probably can't share everything because I don't know if they're ready for it."
Nick expresses his commitment to vulnerability within his family, but also his caution in sharing everything, considering their readiness to handle it.## Vulnerability in Leadership
"But where what you said makes total sense is at work, I do feel like there is an element of leadership that's about confidence."
This quote emphasizes the traditional view that leaders need to exude confidence to inspire their teams and ensure successful outcomes.
"We're big on it at Gainsight. And a lot of Gainsight people have heard me talk about all these topics, but there's still some veneer of needing to have the story still end up with a positive note."
Nick Mater highlights Gainsight's company culture, which encourages vulnerability in leadership, but also acknowledges the lingering expectation for leaders to maintain a positive outlook.
"I always remember those 3% of people or the 1% of people now."
Nick Mater reflects on how a small amount of criticism can overshadow the majority of positive feedback, highlighting the disproportionate weight negative comments can carry.
"Do I feel like I'm enough? Absolutely not. Not at all."
Nick Mater candidly expresses his persistent feelings of inadequacy despite his achievements, illustrating a common struggle with self-worth.
"It's my problem. I always feel like, in general, whenever I externalize something and say, oh, that person's not doing enough, or they're telling me to do something, or it's my parents. It's. No, it's me judging myself."
Nick Mater acknowledges that the issue of feeling inadequate is rooted in his own self-judgment rather than external factors like his parents' comments.
"It feels good. So it's actually not like I always feel bad. It's more like I'm always reminded of, like, there's always more."
Nick Mater describes the fleeting nature of satisfaction after reaching goals, suggesting that the feeling of accomplishment is often quickly replaced by new aspirations.
"I can either know who I am and love who I am or I can hate who I am and try to be something different."
Nick Mater advocates for self-awareness and self-love as the preferable approach to dealing with personal challenges and the pressure to be enough.## Self-Acceptance and Personal Development
"But I know that I'm not going to change it. And I don't really want to. I love myself. That's the thing. That's the bottom line of this is, as much as all these things sound sad, the development has been for myself. I'm the best version of myself I can be and that's what I want. I don't want anyone else."
The quote emphasizes the speaker's realization that they do not wish to change themselves, highlighting a deep sense of self-acceptance and the culmination of personal growth.
"And so I think there's definitely like a level of comfort that money brings. And I think that's a big privilege for people to have it."
The quote reflects the speaker's understanding that while money can bring comfort and alleviate worries about basic needs, it is a privilege that not everyone has.
"I do think that what I don't want is our kids to just kind of fail to launch in society, meaning they just can't get started. And so we want them to feel that hunger, because I do think the hunger... I think there's some healthiness to it, right?"
The quote discusses the speaker's hope that their children will have the drive to succeed on their own, recognizing that a certain level of ambition is healthy and necessary for personal fulfillment.
"Vulnerability is infectious. If we all do it, everyone will do it, and then we'll be more real and we'll feel less lonely."
This quote captures the speaker's belief that by sharing vulnerabilities, people can create a more supportive and genuine community, reducing feelings of isolation.
"The number one thing I say and try to do, but it's so hard, is hiring people based on values and really assessing that mine's being vulnerable."
The speaker acknowledges the challenge of consistently applying the value of vulnerability, both in personal behavior and in hiring practices, despite advocating for it.
"That's a really good one. I would say you made it all happen, that you yourself are the one that made it all happen versus lots of other things that contributed to that."
The quote addresses the common misconception among the wealthy that their success is entirely self-made, ignoring other contributing factors.
"It's that talking about this is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength."
The speaker emphasizes the need to reframe conversations about mental health as a demonstration of strength, challenging existing stigmas in the tech industry.
"I would love to take gainsight public and I have no idea if it will happen or not, but because certainly there's an ego part of it, there's part that I really believe in our business and I want to do it part about pleasing my parents."
The speaker shares their aspiration to take their company public, motivated by a mix of personal belief in the business, ego, and a desire to make their parents proud.