Uncertainty (How to Deal with Uncertainty) - Teal Swan

The discussion explores the concept of dealing with uncertainty, emphasizing the importance of embracing it rather than resisting it. It suggests that trying to control or eliminate uncertainty can lead to increased stress and desperation. Instead, one should accept the unknown, release attachment to specific outcomes, and focus on the present moment. The conversation highlights practical steps like acknowledging and integrating past emotional wounds, questioning beliefs, and seeking stress-reducing activities. By adopting a mindset of curiosity and openness, individuals can navigate uncertainty more effectively and find peace amidst life's unpredictability.

• Uncertainty is defined as a state where something is unknown or undecided, leading to stress and vulnerability.
• This lack of resolution adds to distress, creating feelings of powerlessness and desperation.
• Uncertainty can relate to both temporary situations, like emergencies, and long-term concerns, such as future uncertainty.

"Uncertainty is the state of being where something is either not known or not decided."

• The quote highlights the basic definition of uncertainty as a lack of knowledge or decision.

"Uncertainty is one of the most painful states that a person can be in."

• This quote emphasizes the emotional difficulty and distress associated with uncertainty.

• Common belief suggests resolving uncertainty by becoming certain, but the solution is actually the opposite.
• Resisting uncertainty prevents finding solutions, making decisions, or gaining new knowledge.
• Embracing uncertainty allows for progress and aligns with creating one's reality.

"When we're struggling with uncertainty we begin to resist the uncertainty, until we get to the point where we are not a vibrational match to certainty at all."

• Resisting uncertainty creates a mismatch with certainty, hindering progress.

"Embracing what is, including the uncertainty of what is, actually enables us to create our own reality in a more efficient way."

• Embracing uncertainty allows for better alignment with reality creation.

• Instead of seeking certainty, focus on the emotions arising from uncertainty and embrace them with unconditional presence.
• Address childhood wounds and feelings of desperation and powerlessness.

"We've got to stop trying to find the solution. Instead of trying to feel certain or find solutions, or gain knowledge we need to dive deep into the painful feelings that have come up as a result of the uncertainty."

• The focus should be on understanding and embracing emotions rather than seeking immediate solutions.

• Adopt the belief that whatever is happening is supposed to be happening, which shifts the focus from resistance to acceptance.
• Suffering is caused by the belief that circumstances should not be happening, not by the circumstances themselves.

"The circumstances you're experiencing are not the cause of your suffering. The cause of your suffering is the thought that what is happening should not be happening, or is not supposed to be happening."

• Acceptance of current circumstances reduces suffering and opens up to understanding their purpose.

"Even if you're a scientist at heart, you have to acknowledge somewhere within you that you cannot be 100% certain that what's happening is not supposed to be happening."

• Encourages openness to the possibility that current events have a purpose, even if not immediately apparent.

• The universe has a broad perspective and knows the most efficient path to fulfill your desires, even if it seems like a detour from your perspective.
• A seemingly negative event, like a breakup, might actually be the universe's way of leading you to a better outcome aligned with your desires.
• Surrendering to the universe's plan can reveal unexpected gifts and opportunities.

"After you have given rise to your desire, and the universe has heard you, the universe at large, with that perspective which is all-encompassing that it has, knows the shortest shortcut to get you from where you are, to where you want to be."

• The universe understands your desires and can guide you in unexpected ways that align with your ultimate goals.

"In actuality, the universe from its perspective, understood that what you wanted was the best possible relationship, and so it took you there."

• Events that seem negative might be the universe's way of aligning you with your true desires.

• Fear of the unknown is often a projection of fears about potential negative outcomes.
• Identifying and confronting specific fears about the unknown can help release resistance.

"I fear the unknown is a really popular scapegoat. Except for, it's not true at all. Why? Because if you didn't know, you wouldn't fear it."

• Fear is based on projections of known fears rather than the unknown itself.

"So what's really happening is that you are afraid of what you are projecting into the unknown."

• Understanding that fear stems from projections can help address and release fears.

• Attachment to specific outcomes can lead to control and obsession, preventing awareness of other opportunities.
• Letting go involves visualizing the desired outcome as a balloon and releasing it to the universe.

"Uncertainty can be really really painful when we know what we really really want, but it hasn't come to fruition yet."

• Attachment to outcomes can cause distress and prevent noticing other possibilities.

"One of the best practices is to let go of our need for things to be a certain way."

• Releasing attachment allows the universe to work in its own way to fulfill desires.

• Accepting that the universe knows the best way to achieve your desires can reduce the need to control outcomes.
• Focus on present joys and pleasures rather than controlling future outcomes.

"Knowing that the outcome is in the hand of the universe and knowing that the universe knows the best way to get you to that outcome the quickest, makes it easier for you to stop controlling things that you actually have no control over."

• Trust in the universe's plan can reduce anxiety and control tendencies.

"Then, having released that outcome, go about your day in the name of joy placing your mind on things that bring you pleasure in real time."

• Focusing on present joy helps release attachment to specific outcomes and embrace uncertainty.

• In times of uncertainty, deliberately look for positives and things to enjoy in the present situation.
• Shifting focus from worry to positive aspects can alleviate anxiety and depression.

"When we're in uncertainty, we're stuck, and when we're stuck, we have one option, and that's to try to find the positive in being where we are."

• Finding positives in the present can shift focus from anxiety and worry.

"To get aggressive with you, I call this: 'looking for the moonlight in a jail cell.'"

• Actively seeking positives in difficult situations can transform perception and experience.

• Focus on the positives in any negative situation by consciously choosing to see the good aspects, much like choosing to look at moonlight rather than jail bars.
• Keeping a "positive aspects journal" can help in identifying and appreciating positive elements in your current environment, which requires discipline, especially during negative spirals.
• Finding positives in negative situations can significantly reduce suffering, potentially eliminating it entirely.

"Scan your reality for what you do like about it. And especially spend time focusing on what is positive about the negative circumstance that you're in uncertainty about."

• This quote emphasizes the importance of actively seeking out and focusing on positive aspects within negative situations to improve one's mental state.

• Life can be likened to a river where most people try to control the flow instead of adapting to it. Embracing uncertainty means letting go of the need to control life.
• Accepting that the only certainty is uncertainty can lead to a more peaceful and curious approach to life, allowing one to adapt to life's natural flow.
• Curiosity about what life will bring next can help navigate life's ups and downs without resistance, leading to a state of peace.

"If you adopt the idea that the only certain thing is uncertainty, you will stop trying to control your life."

• This quote suggests that accepting life's inherent uncertainty can free individuals from the burden of trying to control every aspect of their lives, fostering a more adaptable and peaceful mindset.

• Obsession with certainty and knowing everything can be limiting, as it closes off possibilities and prevents growth.
• Embracing uncertainty and the state of "maybe" can keep the mind open to new possibilities and learning experiences.
• A state of learning is superior to a state of knowing because it is open and receptive to new information and growth.

"The ego is obsessed with knowing, because it is convinced that if it knows enough, it's going to be able to prevent pain."

• This quote highlights the ego's desire for certainty as a means to avoid pain, suggesting that letting go of this need can lead to a more open and growth-oriented mindset.

• In times of uncertainty, it's important to recognize when to be still rather than forcing clarity or solutions.
• Like muddy water, clarity comes from allowing the sediment to settle rather than stirring it up further with frantic actions.
• Practicing stillness in uncertainty allows for natural clarity and solutions to emerge without forced efforts.

"Trying to become certain when we're in that state of uncertainty, is like desperately trying to get the mud to go back to the place that it was."

• This quote uses the metaphor of muddy water to illustrate how forced attempts to find certainty can lead to more confusion, advocating for stillness as a path to clarity.

• Meditation is recommended to enhance mental stillness, which is critical for dealing with uncertainty.
• Practicing meditation first thing in the morning can be particularly beneficial.

"Quieting your mind through meditation is a very good idea to enhance this phase of stillness."

• Meditation helps in calming the mind, allowing for better clarity and decision-making.

• Embrace questioning as a tool to deal with uncertainty, involving self-reflection and external perspectives.
• Engaging with others, such as friends, family, or therapists, can provide new insights and questions that might not have been considered.

"Sometimes involving other people like therapists or like friends, or like family, is a good idea when it comes to this kind of questioning, because perhaps they have a perspective or a question which you haven't thought of before."

• The process of questioning can lead to discovering the right questions that provide the answers you seek.

• Utilize techniques like Byron Katie's "The Work" to question personal beliefs and thoughts.
• Practice asking yourself what you would advise someone else in your situation to gain clarity and reduce emotional bias.

"One of my favorite ways to do this, is to contact friends or family, or a therapist, and to tell them the situation that you're dealing with that you feel a high degree of uncertainty about."

• This practice helps in dis-identifying with the situation, allowing for a more objective viewpoint.

• Uncertainty triggers the fight or flight response, making stress reduction essential for calming the nervous system.
• A calm nervous system is crucial for clear decision-making.

"So adding stress reducers to our life, enables us to have access to the kinds of state of being which enable us to have a clear enough mind, that we can actually see the situation clearly enough to make good decisions."

• Personalize stress reduction techniques, as they may vary from person to person, including activities like nature walks, writing, or yoga.

• Isolation amplifies stress during uncertain times, making social support vital.
• Having someone to share the experience with can make uncertainty more tolerable.

"You'll find that we can go through almost anything, as long as we have someone to go through it with us, or to be there for us while we go through it."

• Connecting with others can provide emotional support and reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed by uncertainty.

• Stability is found not by seeking certainty but by embracing uncertainty and instability.
• Letting go of attachment while maintaining intention is key to navigating uncertainty.

"Embracing uncertainty does not mean that we stop wanting. It doesn't mean that we stop creating our lives, and it doesn't mean that we stop taking action to create what we want."

• Accepting the unpredictable nature of life allows for personal growth and resilience.

• Life is an unpredictable journey, and resisting future uncertainties can lead to missed opportunities and experiences.
• Embracing life's uncertainties can lead to unexpected beauty and fulfillment.

"Life is like a journey through uncharted waters, for us all. But if we try to resist what's coming in the future, because we keep trying to avoid pain, we resist the waves of our life at our own peril."

• Viewing uncertainty as an opportunity rather than a threat can enhance one's life experience.