The Truth I Struggle with My Pride Ep 399

Alex Hormozi reflects on personal growth and humility in the latest episode of his show. He shares his recent experience of feeling he performed poorly in interviews, notably with Ryan Panetta and on the Spartan Up podcast, where he came off as overly analytical and condescending. Hormozi, the owner of acquisition.com, candidly discusses his struggle with ego, the importance of feedback from trusted sources like his wife Layla, and his commitment to self-improvement. He emphasizes the significance of humility, not as self-deprecation but as valuing others more, and outlines his strategy to approach future engagements with a mindset focused on serving the audience rather than proving himself right. Hormozi's goal is to die with no secrets, combating shame and pride by being transparent about his flaws, and he expresses gratitude to his audience for their role in his journey toward being a better person.

• Alex Hormozi discusses his commitment to improving and providing better content for his audience.
• He acknowledges his recent shortcomings in interviews and expresses a desire to improve.
• Hormozi owns acquisition.com, a portfolio of companies with significant annual revenue, and shares his journey towards growth.
• He emphasizes the value of feedback, particularly from those he trusts, like his wife Layla.

"Being transparent, that is what I'm, you know, working on right now in an effort to make better stuff for you guys because I want to, ideally, suck less in the future than I do today."

This quote underscores Alex Hormozi's dedication to self-improvement and transparency with his audience. He openly admits his desire to improve his performance and content.

• Layla, Alex's wife, provides him with honest feedback about his performance in an interview.
• Alex values Layla's opinion highly and takes her feedback seriously because he trusts her intentions.
• He expresses concern about coming off differently than he intends, indicating a fear of blind spots in self-perception.

"I take Layla's feedback more seriously than just about anybody because I trust her intentions. Most people have an ulterior motive, which is one of those difficult things in terms of, like, who do you trust for feedback?"

This quote reflects the importance of receiving feedback from trusted sources. Alex Hormozi highlights the challenge of finding people who provide feedback without ulterior motives, emphasizing his trust in Layla's pure intentions.

• Hormozi is introspective following Layla's feedback, contemplating his actions and their perception.
• He experiences discomfort realizing there may be a disconnect between his intentions and how others perceive him.

"And so I was pretty quiet for the rest of the walk home and just really kind of kept mulling on it. And it did bug me a lot because one of the things that scares me is when I'm coming off in a way that I'm not aware of, you know what I mean?"

This quote reveals Alex Hormozi's internal struggle and concern about being unaware of how he may be perceived by others. It highlights the impact that feedback can have on self-awareness and personal reflection.

• Hormozi discusses a podcast interview with Ryan Panetta where he felt he came off as overly analytical and not as engaging as he intended.
• He also mentions another podcast with Joe from Spartan Up, where he felt the interaction was not positive and he may have sounded condescending.

"I think I came off like a little bit of a douchebag, and I felt like it was off even during the podcast."

This quote illustrates Alex Hormozi's self-critical assessment of his performance during the Spartan Up podcast, indicating his awareness of the negative impression he may have left.

• Hormozi's podcast editor provides him with critical feedback, suggesting that his tone sounded condescending and did not serve the audience well.
• He values this feedback as it comes from a professional perspective and is meant to improve the podcast's quality.

"You kind of sound like a, you know, it sounds condescending and you're talking above the audience. You're not really serving anyone."

This quote captures the podcast editor's critique of Hormozi's delivery, suggesting it was not engaging or helpful to listeners. It emphasizes the importance of constructive criticism in professional settings.

• Alex Hormozi acknowledges a personal struggle with ego throughout his life.
• He expresses gratitude for receiving the same feedback from two people within a short span, which prompted deep reflection.
• Recognizes that ego can negatively impact business by prioritizing being right over serving others.
• Quotes a Harvard Business School professor on humility, emphasizing the importance of valuing others over oneself.
• Reflects on his performance in different podcasts and the varying public perception.
• Discusses the concept of ego as a manifestation of insecurity.
• Views the struggle with ego as an ongoing war with many battles, acknowledging both successes and failures.
• Outlines a proactive strategy to foster humility before entering interviews, including a checklist reminder in his phone.

"The number one thing I've struggled with my entire life is ego... pride kills profits, and a lot of it is because we care more about being right than serving the other person."

This quote highlights Alex Hormozi's admission of his lifelong struggle with ego and its detrimental effect on business success, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing service over personal pride.

"Humility is not thinking less of oneself, but increasing your regard for others."

Alex Hormozi shares a quote that defines humility in a way that resonates with him, shifting the focus from self-deprecation to elevating the importance of others.

"I am very thought and I work at it, you know what I mean? And I fail a lot."

Here, Alex Hormozi is candid about his efforts to improve and his frequent failures, suggesting a continuous process of self-improvement and vulnerability.

"I see it much more as a war than I do a battle, you know what I mean? So wars have many, many battles in them."

Alex Hormozi uses the metaphor of war to describe his ongoing struggle with ego, indicating that it is a series of conflicts rather than a single event to overcome.

"I'm going to try and level set before I get on interviews... humility is increasing your regard for others."

This quote outlines Alex Hormozi's intention to remind himself of the importance of humility before participating in interviews, as a strategy to manage his ego and focus on others.

• Alex Hormozi reflects on how he is perceived in different podcasts and by his audience.
• Notes that positive feedback from certain podcasts indicates a better representation of himself.
• Acknowledges that the audience sometimes places him on a pedestal, which he feels is undeserved.
• Expresses a desire to present himself authentically and be the best version of himself.

"There's a school of greatness podcast with Lewis Howes that I think is really, really good. That's going to come out soon."

Alex Hormozi mentions a podcast where he felt his representation was positive, suggesting it as a successful example of his public engagement.

"I think there are some times where you put me on a pedestal, like I am something that I am not, you know what I mean?"

He addresses his audience's tendency to idealize him, expressing discomfort with being seen as more than he is and emphasizing his humanity and flaws.

• Plans to use a checklist to promote humility before interviews.
• Aims to shift focus from being right to caring about the audience and the interviewers.
• Seeks to elevate others as part of his approach to interviews and public appearances.

"I put a little checklist in my phone of like, hey, humility is increasing your regard for others."

Alex Hormozi shares a practical tool he uses—a checklist on his phone—to remind himself of the importance of humility and to focus on others before entering public engagements.

• Alex Hormozi discusses his internal motivation, distinguishing between "away from" and "toward" motivations.
• He identifies a tendency to be driven by a desire not to feel like a failure rather than being pulled towards positive goals.
• Alex acknowledges that his best self operates on "pull motivation" but still struggles with being driven by avoidance of pain or failure.
• He has noticed that his performance varies depending on his motivational state and his ego's influence.

"Most of my motivation has been trying not to feel like a failure in my own eyes than it is to pull towards something I'd like to."

This quote explains that Alex's primary driving force is the fear of failure rather than the aspiration for success. It highlights the introspection he has regarding his motivation.

• Alex reflects on how his ego flares up during interactions, leading to a more analytical and colder demeanor.
• He links pride to anger and fear, suggesting that these emotions can negatively impact his behavior.
• By being aware of this pattern, Alex is attempting to control his reactions and improve his interactions with others.

"I think my worst self is just kind of a light version of anger, because I think pride creates anger a lot of times, you know what I mean?"

Alex is recognizing that pride can lead to negative emotions like anger, which can then affect his behavior. He is considering this a lesser version of his true self.

• Alex is actively working on self-improvement to provide better content for his audience.
• He emphasizes the importance of humility, listening, and understanding others rather than trying to prove himself right.
• Alex feels more connected and performs better during live interactions, such as on stage or during live streams, and considers using live formats as a tool for improvement.

"It's about increasing my regard for others. It's about listening more. It's about seeking to understand, not to prove right."

In this quote, Alex outlines his approach to self-improvement, focusing on valuing others, enhancing his listening skills, and prioritizing understanding over being right.

• Alex openly shares his current focus on personal development to improve the quality of his work.
• He expresses a sense of responsibility to his audience and a desire to provide value for their time and attention.
• Alex's transparency about his shortcomings and commitment to growth is aimed at fostering a better connection with his audience.

"I'm working on right now in an effort to make better stuff for you guys because I want to, ideally, suck less in the future than I do today."

This quote demonstrates Alex's candid admission of his faults and his dedication to personal and professional development for the benefit of his audience.

• Alex Hormozi discusses his current personal challenge of overcoming the tendency to retreat into a defensive, analytical mode.
• He expresses discomfort in sharing this but does so to align with his life goal of dying with no secrets.
• Alex believes that pride and shame isolate individuals, making them feel alone.
• He recognizes the importance of social dynamics and the fear of being shunned by the tribe.
• The process of caring less about societal judgment is gradual and involves selective agreement with societal norms.
• Alex has found that sharing his secrets reduces the fear and pain associated with them.
• He mentions the saying, "Shame cannot exist in the light," to emphasize the power of transparency in overcoming shame.
• His aim is to be seen and accepted for who he is, including his flaws.
• Alex expresses gratitude to his audience for their support and for helping him become a better version of himself.
• He acknowledges the role of Layla in encouraging him to share his feelings with his audience.

"When you're not, sometimes I think I retreat into my more analytical side that tries to just defend stuff, and I don't like it."

This quote reveals Alex's self-awareness about his defensive reactions and his discomfort with this aspect of his behavior.

"Pride isolates us. It makes us feel alone."

Here, Alex identifies pride as a barrier to connection with others, highlighting its isolating effects.

"And a lot of that, I think, also comes from shame, which is that we feel ashamed of things that we have done or things that we have thought, and we think about what other people would say about us."

Alex links shame to the fear of judgment, suggesting that it contributes to feelings of isolation and concerns about societal perception.

"But shame isolates us. And so my hope and my experience has been every time that I've kind of shared a secret or shared something that I was ashamed of, I realized that my fear of the light of it getting exposed was far greater than the pain of exposing it to begin with."

Alex shares his personal experience that opening up about his secrets has been less painful than the fear of exposure, indicating the therapeutic effect of vulnerability.

"So shame only exists in darkness, which exists in isolation."

This quote encapsulates Alex's philosophy that shame thrives in secrecy and that bringing issues to light can diminish its power.

"And so my goal is to die with no secrets so that, at least in my mind, everyone sees me for who I am."

Alex states his life goal of complete transparency as a means to be fully known and accepted by others.

"This audience that you guys coming together has been something that was beyond what I expected. It's certainly more than I deserve, and I'm truly grateful."

Alex expresses deep appreciation for his audience's support, attributing his personal growth to their influence.

"But I was feeling rather in the dumps, and Layla said you should tell people about it. So here I am."

The quote indicates Layla's role in prompting Alex to share his vulnerabilities with his audience, demonstrating the value of having supportive individuals in one's life.

• Alex Hormozi thanks his audience, referring to them as "Mosie Nation," for their unexpected and undeserved support.
• He credits the audience for their role in his journey towards becoming a better person.
• Alex acknowledges that his content usually focuses on business, but he chose to share his personal feelings due to Layla's suggestion and his current emotional state.

"Mosie Nation, I love you guys. This audience that you guys coming together has been something that was beyond what I expected. It's certainly more than I deserve, and I'm truly grateful."

Alex uses this quote to convey his heartfelt gratitude to his audience, emphasizing the positive impact they have had on his life.

"And you guys help me be a better version of me. And so I just want to say thank you."

In this quote, Alex acknowledges the audience's contribution to his self-improvement and explicitly thanks them for it.

"If you are new, there's a whole bunch of other stuff that's much more business focused on this channel."

Here, Alex provides context for his usual content, indicating that his channel typically concentrates on business matters.

"But I was feeling rather in the dumps, and Layla said you should tell people about it. So here I am."

This quote shows Alex's willingness to be transparent about his emotional state and the influence of Layla's advice on his decision to open up to his audience.