Jordan Peterson: How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be | E113

In a profound discussion between Steven Bartlett and Jordan Peterson, the conversation revolves around self-awareness, truth, and personal growth. Peterson emphasizes the importance of confronting personal inadequacies to foster self-improvement and meaningful connections. He critiques societal tendencies toward superficial personas and underscores the value of authenticity. The dialogue also explores the psychological impact of achieving goals, the necessity of struggle for fulfillment, and the unintended consequences of technological advancements. Peterson advocates for individual empowerment over political solutions, urging a commitment to truth as a guiding principle for personal and societal betterment.

• Self-reflection involves confronting one's own inadequacies and making a conscious effort to improve.
• Sitting down and asking oneself what they are doing wrong and what they can fix is a crucial step towards self-awareness and personal growth.
• This process is often uncomfortable and involves facing truths that one may not want to hear, but it is necessary for genuine self-improvement.

"If you want to know something about yourself, sit on your bed one night and say, 'What's one thing I'm doing wrong that I know I'm doing wrong that I could fix that I would fix?' You meditate on that, you'll get an answer, and it won't be one you want, but it'll be the necessary one."

• This quote emphasizes the importance of introspection and the willingness to confront uncomfortable truths for personal development.

• Authenticity and truth are essential for meaningful connections in relationships.
• Wearing a mask or maintaining a persona can prevent genuine connection and lead to dissatisfaction.
• Real relationships strengthen when individuals communicate their true feelings and desires.

"I believe it's really difficult to truly connect with someone if you're not speaking and being your truth...since then I would categorize my relationship as being the strongest thing I've ever seen in terms of a romantic connection with someone."

• This quote illustrates how embracing truth in relationships leads to deeper and more fulfilling connections.

• A persona is a necessary social tool but can become detrimental if it overshadows one's true self.
• The journey from persona to authenticity involves acknowledging one's inadequacies and striving for genuine self-expression.
• Acting out a role or persona can lead to a lack of meaning and fulfillment in life.

"The problem arises when that functional shell is all that there is, and then the real person underneath is just desperate and unhappy because nothing of what's being acted out reflects a true underlying reality."

• This quote highlights the dangers of relying solely on a persona and the importance of authenticity for personal fulfillment.

• Imagining who you could be and aiming towards that vision is crucial for personal growth.
• Many people remain in unsatisfying situations due to fear of the unknown and uncertainty.
• Making a plan and taking actionable steps can help overcome the fear of change and lead to a more fulfilling life.

"Imagine who you could be and then aim single-mindedly at that...it's like make a plan, man."

• This quote encourages individuals to envision their potential and take deliberate steps towards achieving it.

• Career dissatisfaction should be addressed by analyzing specific problems and taking steps to improve one's situation.
• Updating a resume, identifying inadequacies, and applying for new jobs are practical steps in career advancement.
• Effective negotiation with employers involves being prepared and presenting a clear plan for mutual benefit.

"What you need to do is you have something to say...it's bad for both of us...if your boss is in principle not amenable to such a discussion, then what you should seriously consider doing is finding another job."

• This quote outlines the importance of addressing career dissatisfaction through preparation and negotiation.

• Self-awareness is crucial for personal development and involves recognizing one's inadequacies.
• Building self-awareness can be challenging but is essential for meaningful self-improvement.
• A structured approach to understanding one's strengths and weaknesses can lead to personal growth.

"On that point of understanding my inadequacies or someone's inadequacies, I really believe that it's really difficult to undergo self-development if you don't have self-awareness."

• This quote underscores the importance of self-awareness as a foundation for personal growth and development.

• Self-reflection is crucial for personal growth, especially when life becomes unbearable due to negative emotions and behaviors.
• Identifying and addressing one's own faults, even if they seem trivial, can lead to rapid personal improvement.
• Humility is necessary to recognize one's own arrogance and privilege, which can hinder personal progress.

"Like you got to be desperate this is no game this it's like my life is not everything I wanted to be and perhaps it's not everything that I need it to be."

• Recognizing dissatisfaction with one's life is a starting point for self-reflection and change.

"You ask yourself you sit on the bed and say okay man I'm ready to learn something like what what's one thing I'm doing wrong that I know I'm doing wrong that I could fix that I would fix."

• Honest self-assessment can reveal areas for improvement, even if the answers are uncomfortable.

• Privilege is often unearned and can lead to existential guilt due to historical atrocities.
• Responsibility for privilege involves living a virtuous life, speaking truth, and respecting others.
• Envy of others' perceived advantages often overlooks their hidden struggles and complexities.

"When the left radical Lefty types go after people for their unearned privilege they have a point."

• Acknowledging unearned privilege is important, as it is a valid critique of societal structures.

"The way you pay for your privilege is with your virtue. I mean that most particularly you have these opportunities and this existential guilt and the way you expiate that and atone is by doing your best to live the best possible life you can manage."

• Virtuous living is a way to atone for the privileges one may have been born into.

• Struggle and chaos are integral to personal fulfillment and growth, contrary to the desire for an easy life.
• Achieving goals is not the end; continuous striving for higher goals is necessary for a meaningful life.
• The pursuit of unattainable goals fosters personal development and enriches life experiences.

"We're built to walk uphill and when you reach the Pinnacle of the Hill you want to stop and appreciate the vision but the next thing you want is a higher Hill in the distance because it's the uphill climb that it's it's from the uphill climb that we derive our value."

• The journey and struggle towards goals provide value and meaning to life.

"You want a horizon of ever-expanding possibility and so it does happen to people is they because they've staked their soul on the attainment of an instrumental goal."

• Constantly seeking new challenges and goals prevents stagnation and promotes lifelong growth.

• Remote working can hinder meaningful social connections and personal development.
• Physical work environments offer opportunities for forming friendships and learning social skills.
• The lack of in-person interaction may lead to a loss of important formative experiences.

"I hate it and I hate it for a variety of reasons because I feel like there's very few institutions in in our in my life where I have a chance to meaningfully connect with with people."

• Remote work limits opportunities for building interpersonal relationships, which are vital for personal growth.

"The problem with virtualization is that we don't understand our environments well enough to be certain that we're not excluding something vital when we concentrate only on what we think conceptually is important."

• The shift to virtual environments risks losing essential aspects of human interaction and learning.

• Virtual collaboration allows for efficient project management and global communication.
• New technologies offer radical possibilities but require careful integration into daily life.
• Balance between virtual and real-world interactions is crucial to maintain well-being.

"I meet with him virtually once a week and it's actually very efficient... I can have an interview and discussion with anyone anywhere in the world even in a foreign language and that's like unbelievably remarkable."

• Virtual meetings enhance efficiency and global reach, allowing collaboration without geographical constraints.

"These new technologies they're unbelievably radical and they're very hard to master and so we all have to be careful and try to keep our feet on the ground to some degree when we're using them."

• The radical nature of new technologies demands careful and grounded usage to avoid potential pitfalls.

• Incorporating routine exercises can significantly reduce anxiety and improve mental health.
• A balance between personal time and connected activities is essential for sustainable living.
• Culture and intimate relationships are vital components of a balanced life.

"I do a series of exercises that my wife taught me... that reduces my anxiety during the day I would say about 25%."

• Regular physical exercises contribute to mental health improvements and anxiety reduction.

"There's this balance between privacy introverted privacy let's say and disconnect from everyone except for my wife and then contemplated reconnection with the virtual world that seems to be working out pretty well."

• Balancing privacy with virtual connectivity is key to maintaining personal well-being and productivity.

• Technological advancements often come with unforeseen consequences that require careful management.
• Historical and philosophical perspectives highlight the alienating effects of technology.
• Deceit and dishonesty can compromise decision-making and personal integrity.

"We don't know how to manage the unintended consequences of our technological prowess."

• The complexity of technology necessitates a cautious approach to managing its unintended effects.

"Technology does alienate us because of its artificiality and its coldness and its mechanistic nature."

• The mechanistic nature of technology can lead to a sense of alienation from the products of human effort.

• The pandemic exposed societal unpreparedness and the rush to imitate authoritarian responses.
• Overreliance on opinion polls rather than scientific evidence influenced public policy.
• The pandemic response may have caused more harm than the virus itself, with no clear endgame in sight.

"Part of the reason that we overreacted... is that we were unprepared for such things in our naivety."

• Societal naivety and unpreparedness led to overreactions and authoritarian measures during the pandemic.

"None of the covid policy for the last year was driven by Reliance on science it's all opinion poll and that's really pernicious."

• Public policy during the pandemic was largely driven by opinion polls rather than scientific evidence, leading to questionable decisions.

• Solutions to serious problems are best found at the individual level rather than through political means.
• Encouraging individual responsibility and development is seen as a theological rather than political endeavor.
• Political dialogue requires input from diverse temperaments to effectively address societal challenges.

"The right solution to the more serious problems is to be found at the level of the individual."

• Individual responsibility and development are emphasized as key to addressing serious societal issues.

"There has to be a continual dialogue between people of different temperaments so that we can keep the ship of State... tracking to an Ever moving destination."

• Effective governance and societal progress require ongoing dialogue between individuals with diverse perspectives and temperaments.

• Wisdom is crucial in the present, especially as we advance technologically.
• Technological devices like smartphones can have unintended consequences if not used wisely.
• Individuals must be smart and wise enough to wield powerful technologies responsibly.

"If you're going to have a hydrogen bomb, you better be wise enough to wield it."

• The quote emphasizes the necessity of wisdom in handling powerful technologies to prevent negative outcomes.

• Encouraging others should not involve forcing personal biases or intentions.
• It's important to ask genuine questions and listen to understand others' needs.
• Avoid assuming responsibility for others' destinies and focus on facilitating open dialogue.

"Disabuse yourself of the notion that you know what is best for this person."

• This quote highlights the importance of humility and recognizing one's limitations in guiding others.

• Honest questions promote genuine dialogue and understanding.
• Avoid manipulative questioning that aims to lead others toward a predetermined conclusion.
• Listening attentively allows individuals to express themselves and find their own solutions.

"Your questions should be honest, and if you ask people questions and you really listen, they will untangle themselves."

• The quote underscores the power of authentic inquiry and active listening in fostering meaningful communication.

• Comedy is inherently dialogical, involving interaction and feedback from the audience.
• Comedians refine their material through audience reactions, creating a dynamic exchange.
• Humor involves a sophisticated interplay of self-criticism and transcendence.

"Comedy is the most dialogical of the entertainment forms."

• This quote reveals the collaborative nature of comedy, where audience engagement shapes the performance.

• Happiness should not be the primary aim; instead, focus on achieving meaning and depth.
• Life's experiences should encompass a range of emotions, not just superficial happiness.
• Aim for personal growth and transcendence, which may lead to moments of happiness.

"Aim to climb uphill to the highest peak you can possibly envision, and that's better than happiness."

• The quote suggests that striving for meaningful goals provides a more fulfilling life than the pursuit of happiness alone.

• Personal triumphs often arise from overcoming deep despair.
• Interactions with others reveal both their struggles and their victories.
• The experience of helping others is profound but can also be emotionally challenging.

"Even in the revelation of their triumph, the initial depth of their despair."

• This quote illustrates the dual nature of personal success, highlighting the contrast between past suffering and present achievement.

• Truth-telling is essential for positive change in the world.
• Faith in truth, beauty, and love can guide actions toward a better future.
• The impact of truth is unpredictable but necessary for personal integrity and societal progress.

"You speak truthfully and you watch what happens, and you take your consequences."

• The quote emphasizes the commitment to truth as a guiding principle, despite the uncertainty of outcomes.