How To Fix Your Brain’s Addiction To Anxiety & Worry - Dr Russell Kennedy

The discussion explores the pervasive nature of anxiety in modern society, emphasizing the role of uncertainty as a primary driver. Dr. Russell Kennedy highlights that anxiety is not a singular emotion but a cycle of bodily alarm and mental worry, often stemming from unresolved childhood trauma. He suggests that traditional cognitive therapies may not fully address anxiety's root causes, advocating for a somatic approach that reconnects the mind with the body and the adult self with the inner child. The conversation also touches on gender differences in anxiety expression, the limitations of medication, and the potential benefits of alternative therapies, including psychedelics.

• Anxiety is prevalent due to the inability to tolerate uncertainty, often stemming from unresolved childhood trauma.
• Modern distractions, such as smartphones, limit our capacity to handle uncertainty, leading to increased anxiety.
• Anxiety is described as a cycle of bodily alarm and mental worry, each energizing the other.

"Anxiety isn't one thing. It's actually two things...the state of alarm that's held in your body and this worrisome, the warnings, what ifs, worst case scenario or your mind comes up with."

• Anxiety involves both physical sensations of alarm and mental processes of worry, creating a reinforcing cycle.

"People worry because what worry does in my opinion is it makes the uncertain appear more certain."

• Worry provides a false sense of certainty, offering temporary relief from anxiety by narrowing down possible outcomes.

• Childhood experiences of uncertainty, such as having a mentally ill parent, can lead to an intolerance of uncertainty in adulthood.
• The lack of repair or resolution of childhood trauma exacerbates anxiety and uncertainty.

"If you're in an environment where your parents fight...the children are probably going to have a better more resilient and more capable nervous system than children that don't have any trauma that don't have any wounding."

• Resilience in children is developed through the repair of trauma, not just the absence of trauma itself.

"It's not so much the trauma, it's the fact that it wasn't repaired."

• Unrepaired trauma leads to persistent anxiety and uncertainty, as the nervous system remains on high alert.

• People-pleasing behaviors often originate from unmet childhood needs and a fear of abandonment.
• Children learn to meet their parents' needs to receive affection, which translates into adult relationships.

"So we find a way to get our needs met by getting our parents' needs met."

• People-pleasing is a strategy to avoid abandonment by ensuring others' happiness, often at the cost of one's own well-being.

"You internalize the lesson. I'm not okay if you're not okay. That your emotions are my responsibility."

• This mindset leads to an unhealthy cycle of dependency and self-neglect, driven by fear of abandonment.

• Hypervigilance and irritability are common responses to uncertainty in women and men, respectively.
• These behaviors are coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety and uncertainty.

"Hypervigilance is what all the possible permutations. What could happen? What could happen?"

• Hypervigilance involves constantly anticipating potential threats, often leading to heightened anxiety.

"Men tend to get activated. And often with men, anxiety, uncertainty, intolerance shows up as irritability."

• Irritability in men is a socially acceptable way to express anxiety, providing temporary relief from internal tension.

• Blame offers a temporary escape from self-critical thoughts, providing relief from anxiety.
• Victim mentality is linked to anxiety, as individuals feel powerless to change their circumstances.

"Blame actually feels good. If you look at the neuroscience of blame, you're taking yourself out of the default mode network."

• Blame shifts focus from internal self-criticism to external factors, reducing anxiety temporarily.

"I haven't met anybody with a significant anxiety disorder that didn't have an underlying victim mentality."

• Victim mentality perpetuates anxiety by reinforcing a sense of helplessness and lack of control.

• The default mode network is a brain state associated with negative self-appraisal and anxiety.
• Breaking free from this network requires awareness and active engagement in tasks.

"When you're locked in that default mode network...your brain will default into this repetitive, reproducible kind of self-awareness."

• The default mode network is a mental state where negative thoughts and anxiety flourish, often unconsciously.

"I'm learning more ways that we actually become aware that we're in this default loop because there is a feeling to it."

• Recognizing and disrupting the default mode network can help alleviate anxiety by shifting focus away from negative self-evaluation.

• Worry is a mental process that attempts to create certainty in uncertain situations, often exacerbating anxiety.
• It is a habitual response that provides temporary relief but ultimately reinforces anxiety.

"I'm just trying to add in worry. Like what worry is as a part of that. Is it, uh, markedly different?"

• Worry is a distinct aspect of anxiety, serving as a mental strategy to cope with uncertainty but often leading to more anxiety.

• Anxiety often stems from unresolved childhood trauma or wounding, which manifests as an "alarm" in the body.
• This alarm is a physical sensation that can be mistaken for anxiety and is often linked to the default mode network in the brain.
• Healing anxiety involves addressing this alarm, which represents a younger, unresolved part of oneself.

"We have this trauma that's too much for us to bear. I don't like using the word trauma too much, but we have this wounding typically from our childhood that's too much to bear."

• Childhood trauma or wounding can be overwhelming and is a critical factor in the development of anxiety.

"Once you see that alarm in your body is a version of your younger self... that alarm is this unresolved part of you that didn't get the repair that you needed when you were younger."

• The alarm is a manifestation of unresolved childhood issues, representing a younger version of oneself that needs healing.

• Worry serves as a distraction from the underlying alarm in the body, often worsening over time as a coping mechanism.
• Rumination provides a false sense of certainty, reinforcing fear and anxiety.

"The worries tend to have to get worse and worse and worse and more intense to keep up their ability to keep you out of that alarm in your body."

• Worry intensifies as a means to distract from the deeper, unresolved alarm within the body.

"You're reinforcing the fear because the certainty helps to remove the uncertainty, but it reinforces the fear."

• Rumination creates a cycle where certainty temporarily alleviates anxiety but ultimately reinforces underlying fears.

• Individuals with stable childhoods are less likely to develop chronic anxiety from situational stressors compared to those with unresolved childhood trauma.
• Anxiety can be exacerbated by past trauma, but situational factors can also induce anxiety regardless of childhood experiences.

"Combat veterans that go through the same firefight, the ones that will show up with PTSD are the ones that had the childhood trauma most of the time."

• Childhood trauma predisposes individuals to anxiety and PTSD in response to stressful situations.

"If you had a stable childhood when you go through that breakup, you're unlikely to really completely lose it or it's going to be time limited."

• A stable childhood can buffer against prolonged anxiety in response to life stressors.

• Many people mislabel emotions, confusing anxiety with other feelings like anger or frustration.
• Therapy is essential for gaining insight into these mislabelings and addressing unresolved issues.

"I think we are not, as Jordan Peterson says, we're not transparent to ourselves. We have severe blind spots."

• Individuals often lack self-awareness regarding their emotions, necessitating therapeutic intervention.

"I do believe a lot of quote unquote anxiety is unresolved grief."

• Anxiety is frequently rooted in unresolved grief, which remains unprocessed and manifests as anxiety.

• Healing anxiety requires both cognitive and somatic therapies, addressing both the mind and body.
• The focus should be on feeling and addressing the alarm in the body rather than solely on cognitive solutions.

"We believe that we can heal everything with cognitive therapy. And that's why I think somatic therapy is so important."

• Cognitive therapy alone is insufficient; somatic therapy is necessary to address the physical manifestations of anxiety.

"We need both. So, we need to allow ourselves to feel that alarm, find it first."

• Healing involves acknowledging and addressing the physical sensations of alarm in the body.

• Techniques like breathing exercises, focusing on positive memories, and physical sensations can help manage anxiety.
• These methods aim to change the brain's representation of alarm and break the anxiety cycle.

"Put your hand over that area and breathe into it and just stay with it for a second and see if it provides you with some comfort."

• Physical techniques, like placing a hand over the area of alarm, can provide comfort and help manage anxiety.

"Hypnitations... take your particular alarm and we feed that to you in a way that we get you into this relaxed state."

• Hypnitations involve using relaxation techniques to address the specific alarm and promote healing.

• The default mode network in the brain plays a significant role in the cycle of anxiety and worry.
• Shifting focus from internal to external can help break the anxiety loop.

"We need to pull you out of that default mode network. And we do things by improving your anterior singular cortex."

• The default mode network perpetuates anxiety, and shifting focus can help disrupt this cycle.

"Your mind is a symptom. It's not the underlying cause."

• The mind's worries are symptoms of the deeper, unresolved alarm in the body.

• Anxiety is deeply rooted in the subconscious mind and often encoded at a subconscious level.
• Superficial techniques such as breathing or tapping provide temporary relief but do not address the underlying cause of anxiety.
• Anxiety is challenging to treat because worry has historically served as a protective mechanism, especially from childhood.

"But again, it's not especially if you've worn this anxious groove for decades sometimes, it's not going to feel better right away."

• Addressing anxiety requires deep work, as superficial solutions do not suffice for long-term relief.

"The worry when you go into your head, you don't feel the alarm in your body so much."

• Worry acts as a coping strategy to distract from the physical sensations of anxiety.

• Meditations are designed to help individuals connect with their unconscious mind and address anxiety at a deeper level.
• Consistent practice of meditation and self-connection is crucial, even when not feeling anxious, to build resilience.

"You're not going to want to do the meditations. You're not going to want to and especially when people start feeling better, they stop doing it."

• There is a resistance to engaging in practices that heal anxiety, especially when symptoms subside temporarily.

• Childhood experiences significantly impact self-perception, often leading to self-blame and negative self-referential thoughts.
• The default mode network, including the posterior cingulate cortex, plays a role in maintaining these negative self-perceptions.

"If your childhood wasn't that great and children tend to blame themselves, they stop loving themselves and they create all sorts of reasons why they're not lovable, that sticks in that posterior singulate cortex."

• Early experiences influence the default mode network, reinforcing negative beliefs about oneself.

• Anxiety and worry can become addictive due to biochemical processes involving dopamine and other neurotransmitters.
• The brain rewards worry with biochemical rewards, making it challenging to break the cycle of anxiety.

"If we scare the crap out of ourselves, we actually get in the brain. We get rewarded for that."

• The brain's reward system reinforces anxiety and worry, complicating the healing process.

• Traditional talk therapy has limited effectiveness in addressing the root causes of anxiety.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is helpful for coping strategies but does not address the underlying alarm in the body.

"I think there's a limited amount of benefit you get. I think it's valuable, but I don't think it's going to heal you."

• Talk therapy provides insights but does not fully address the somatic roots of anxiety.

• The acronym 'ALARM' represents Abuse, Loss, Abandonment, Rejection, Maturity, and Shame as core contributors to anxiety.
• Addressing these underlying traumas is essential for healing the body's state of alarm.

"If you experienced abuse, physical, emotional, sexual abuse, loss, loss of parents, loss of divorce, abandonment is the A. R is rejection or bullying."

• Identifying and addressing these traumatic experiences is crucial for resolving anxiety.

• The insular cortex is involved in mapping the body onto the brain and plays a role in processing physical and emotional pain.
• Interoception, the awareness of internal body states, is linked to anxiety and the default mode network.

"The insular cortex is basically what maps the body onto the brain and the posterior part of it deals a lot with physical pain."

• Understanding the insular cortex's role can aid in developing strategies to manage anxiety.

• Taking physical action can help break the cycle of anxiety by shifting focus away from the default mode network.
• Engaging in activities and connecting with oneself can alleviate anxiety symptoms.

"Action is a good antidote to anxiety. It takes you right out of develop mode as soon as you connect."

• Physical movement and self-connection are effective strategies for managing anxiety.

• Medication can be effective for some individuals but often serves as a temporary solution.
• The medical profession lacks the time and training to address the deeper emotional roots of anxiety.

"I have nothing against medication, but I think in this environment as a medical doctor, we're not trained in, you know, trauma."

• While medication helps manage symptoms, it does not address the underlying causes of anxiety.

• Healing chronic anxiety involves addressing deeply ingrained patterns and subcortical unconscious programs.
• Traditional therapy focuses on coping, but true healing requires addressing the root causes.

"Traditional therapy for anxiety helps you cope, but it really doesn't help you heal."

• Effective anxiety treatment requires a holistic approach that goes beyond cognitive strategies.

• Healing involves connecting the adult self to the child self and the mind to the body.
• Crippling anxiety can be alleviated, making life more livable, though not completely rid of it.
• The right approach to therapy is crucial; relying solely on the mind to heal the mind is ineffective.

"Connecting adult self to child self and mind to body. That's how we heal."

• Healing is about integrating different parts of oneself, particularly bridging past and present selves.

• Psychedelics can help access nonverbal areas of the brain and alter subconscious patterns.
• They paralyze the default mode network, providing a new perspective on self-perception.

"Psychedelics paralyze the default mode network, so if your default mode network is telling you you're a piece of [__] and you take this, you know, psilocybin or whatever it is and all of a sudden that voice is gone, it's like, oh my god, this is a brave new world in here."

• Psychedelics can silence negative self-talk, offering a transformative experience.

• Talk therapy is valuable but doesn't address the core alarm causing anxiety.
• Without treating the underlying alarm, therapy only helps in coping, not healing.

"Talk therapy is valuable. No question about it. But unless you go and get the alarm in the system, that's truly what's causing the anxiety in your mind is this alarm, this old unresolved wounding that's stuck in your system."

• Talk therapy addresses symptoms but not the root causes of anxiety.

• Resolving past trauma involves reconciling self-reproach and understanding the child's perspective.
• Healing requires treating the younger self with care and understanding.

"It's coming to terms with the self-reproach that we hold for that child who was abused, abandoned, neglected, whatever."

• Healing involves acknowledging and addressing past self-blame and trauma.

• Men often express anxiety as irritability, while women tend to ruminate.
• Emotional literacy, including knowing emotion words, contributes to emotional balance.

"Men, as I said earlier, often it will show up as irritability. In women, it's usually rumination."

• Anxiety manifests differently across genders, influenced by emotional expression and literacy.

• Tears have an adaptive function in the brain, offering relief from overwhelming emotions.
• Lack of emotional release can lead to severe consequences, including suicide.

"The reason why I think men kill themselves much more often than women do is women have tears."

• Emotional release, such as crying, can alleviate psychological distress and reduce suicide risk.

• Allowing oneself to feel is crucial for overcoming anxiety.
• Overthinking often masks under-feeling, leading to anxiety.

"If you can't feel yourself, you're going to have to do something to just try and discharge that energy."

• Feeling emotions is essential to processing and overcoming anxiety.

• Somatic therapy and internal family systems work are recommended for addressing anxiety.
• Men's groups and retreats offer a supportive environment for emotional expression.

"I'd like to work a little more with psychedelics, but it's not legal yet. So, that that's an issue."

• Alternative therapeutic approaches focus on bodily sensations and internal family dynamics.

• Healing involves providing oneself with what was lacking in childhood: being seen, heard, and understood.
• Codependency arises from neglecting self-awareness and prioritizing others' needs.

"If your parents didn't show an interest in knowing you and understanding you, you probably won't have a big interest in knowing and understanding yourself."

• Self-awareness and addressing unmet childhood needs are crucial for overcoming codependency.

• Anxiety treatment requires addressing the root cause, not just the symptoms.
• Resources like courses and books offer alternative perspectives on anxiety.

"My website um the anxietymd.com. That's my my Instagram as well, theanxietymd.com."

• Resources are available for exploring new approaches to understanding and treating anxiety.