067 - "Yeah, but..." Hunting

Nick, a young adult exploring the intersection of faith and life, discusses with his mentor Kyle the struggle between seeking personal glory and affirmation versus prioritizing faith in God. They delve into the idea that the desire for glory and affirmation is inherently good and God-given, but it becomes problematic when pursued independently of God. Kyle emphasizes that God intends to bestow both glory and affirmation upon believers, as supported by biblical references. The conversation also addresses the importance of embracing encouragement from others and overcoming the internal "yeah, but" voice that undermines self-worth, advocating for a healthier acceptance of positive affirmation.

• Nick introduces himself as someone in his 20s seeking answers about life and faith, with many questions similar to those of his audience.
• Nick introduces Kyle, his mentor, who will help him find better answers to these life and faith questions.

"I'm Nick. I'm in my 20s, trying to figure out life and what faith has to do with it. I've got a lot of questions, probably very similar to the ones you've got, but here's the thing. I'm looking for a better answer, and it's difficult to find someone who can help."

• Nick is seeking deeper understanding and guidance on faith-related questions, indicating a journey of exploration and learning.

• Nick describes his personal rating system, which ranks experiences from 1 to 5 to help make decisions.
• The scale: 1 (hate it), 2 (don't like it), 3 (good), 4 (awesome), 5 (absolutely love it).

"My friends know this about me. I rank things out of from one to five, and it makes me make a decision. So. So one is, I hate it. Two is I don't like it. Three is. It's. It's. It's good."

• Nick uses a personal rating system to evaluate his experiences, which aids in decision-making and reflecting on his feelings.

• Nick shares his struggle with the desire for glory and affirmation, sometimes prioritizing them above Christ.
• He identifies affirmation as the root of his desire, equating it to wanting validation and praise.

"I think the idol, the thing that I want to love more than Jesus is affirmation. I want somebody to say, hey, good job."

• Nick recognizes his struggle with seeking affirmation and glory, which can overshadow his faith and relationship with Christ.

• Kyle defines glory as a destination and affirmation as the way to achieve it.
• The desire for glory is deemed good, as God promises to bring believers to glory.

"I think glory is your destination and affirmation is the way you get there."

• Glory is seen as the ultimate goal or state, while affirmation is the process or steps taken to reach that goal.

• Kyle emphasizes that God intends to bring believers to glory and that seeking self-glory is where people go astray.
• He references Hebrews 2:10 to support the idea that God's goal is to bring many to glory.

"God wants to bring you to glory. How do I know that? Because he directly says it in Hebrews 2, verse 10. He says that his goal is to bring many sons and daughters to glory."

• The pursuit of glory is aligned with God's plan, but the issue arises when individuals seek glory independently of God.

• Affirmation is described as momentary praise or recognition, while glory is a more permanent state of identity.
• Kyle explains that affirmation accumulates to form glory, which becomes an identity.

"Affirmation is the same thing. And I said this earlier just a minute ago, and let me just return to it to define it. Affirmation, I think of as it's a moment. Somebody affirmed me in the hallway today and said, good job on the talk last weekend. Oh, man, thanks. That's great."

• Affirmation is transient and contributes to the formation of a lasting identity in glory.

• Nick discusses his tendency to view enjoyable things as bad or irresponsible.
• Kyle attributes this mindset to unhealthy religious beliefs that can pervade Christian circles.

"Good things I immediately deemed bad. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, that's enjoyable. Oh, can't. That's. I should do something more responsible."

• Nick struggles with associating enjoyment with irresponsibility, a mindset influenced by unhealthy religious teachings.

• Kyle reiterates that God wants to give glory and affirmation, supported by Philippians 4:19.
• The narrative arc of the Bible shows God's intention for humanity to live in glory with Him.

"Philippians 4. 9. My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. He meets your needs by giving you the riches of his glory."

• God's provision of glory is meant to fulfill human needs, aligning with the biblical narrative of humanity's stewardship and eventual glorification.

• The discussion concludes with the idea that pursuing glory independently from God leads to idolatry.
• The challenge is to seek glory and affirmation as gifts from God rather than through personal effort.

"I think again where we get off track is I go looking for glory not given to me by God, but earned through my own effort."

• The pursuit of self-earned glory is cautioned against, emphasizing reliance on God's provision for true glory and affirmation.

• The discussion begins with the concept of idolization, which is viewed as placing something above God.
• The struggle with seeking affirmation or glory is explored, recognizing the natural human need for affirmation and glory as part of how God created us.
• There's a distinction between seeking affirmation as a gift from God versus pursuing it through personal effort.

"And idolization is putting something above God."

• Idolization is defined as prioritizing something over God, setting the stage for the discussion on affirmation and glory.

"You're actually made for glory and affirmation."

• Humans are inherently designed to seek affirmation and glory, which is not inherently bad but part of God's creation.

• Individuals have the choice to seek affirmation and glory as gifts from God or through their own efforts.
• Pursuing affirmation through personal effort can lead to negative consequences, such as having to undermine others and maintain a facade.

"You have a choice about how you seek affirmation and glory as gifts from God unearned or as the fruit of your own effort."

• The choice lies in accepting glory as a divine gift or striving to earn it, with implications for personal conduct and relationships.

"To get glory and affirmation on your own, you will have to crush other people. You'll have to take it, you'll have to seize it."

• Seeking affirmation through personal effort involves competitive and potentially harmful behavior towards others.

• The conversation shifts to evaluating personal motivations and actions in seeking glory and affirmation.
• The importance of recognizing and addressing idolatry in the pursuit of affirmation is emphasized.

"You said you think you have an idol of wanting glory and seeking affirmation. I'd say, great. How are you currently pursuing that?"

• Self-reflection on one's methods of seeking affirmation is crucial to understanding and addressing idolatry.

"I live for people to tell me whether or not I'm doing good. Yeah. And I'm sad when I don't get it."

• Personal experiences highlight the emotional impact of seeking external validation and the need for acknowledgment.

• Healthy affirmation is essential and aligns with biblical teachings, emphasizing the need for encouragement within the community.
• The discussion includes personal anecdotes about learning to accept encouragement and recognizing it as a positive and necessary aspect of life.

"Healthy affirmation is really important. When I started doing public speaking, people would say, good job or thank you. I was always very awkward because I was like, oh, this is bad."

• Initially, accepting affirmation can be challenging, but it is an important part of personal growth and community interaction.

"God actually made me to need encouragement from the body to say, good job, and to go, oh, wow, great."

• Encouragement from others is a divine design, intended to support and uplift individuals within a community.

• The Bible provides numerous references supporting the importance of encouraging one another.
• Verses from Thessalonians and Hebrews emphasize the role of encouragement in fostering love, good works, and community strength.

"Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

• Encouragement is a biblical mandate, essential for personal and community development.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it's called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."

• Daily encouragement is vital to prevent moral and spiritual decline, reinforcing the need for constant support.

• Encouragement serves as a protective measure against the deceitfulness of sin, which aims to undermine self-worth and identity.
• Sin deceives by making individuals feel inadequate, isolated, and unworthy, contrasting with the belief that they are valued and gifted by God.
• The narrative one chooses to believe plays a crucial role in self-perception and spiritual well-being.

"Because sin's deceitfulness is to say, you're not good, you're actually useless, and no one cares about you, and you're alone and you don't belong and you'll never do a good job."

• Sin aims to lower self-esteem and make individuals doubt their worth and capabilities.

"The one that God wants you to believe is that you really are his son or daughter and you are enough, and he has given you gifts and he does have big plans for you."

• Emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's value and potential as seen through God's perspective.

• Seeking encouragement from trusted individuals can be more impactful than from strangers.
• Affirmation from people who truly know you provides genuine validation and reassurance.
• There is a balance between needing affirmation and relying on it excessively.

"There's just. Actually, there's a few people who I trust to go, if you say it was good, I really believe it was good."

• Highlights the significance of receiving feedback from trusted sources.

"I think that's not necessarily a weakness. To need that affirmation now where it becomes a problem."

• Needing affirmation isn't inherently weak, but dependency on it can be problematic.

• Affirmation should be consumed in a healthy manner, avoiding dependency that undermines self-validation.
• The transition from law to grace in religious contexts illustrates the shift from rigid rules to a more nuanced understanding of consumption.
• Affirmation should not replace divine validation but complement it.

"There's a healthy way to consume and there's a healthy appetite in need that you have, and there's an unhealthy way to go after it."

• Distinguishes between constructive and destructive approaches to seeking affirmation.

"And it can become the thing you have to have to feel validated. And that's the line that I would say."

• Warns against allowing affirmation to become an essential requirement for self-worth.

• Individuals may struggle with accepting encouragement due to self-critical tendencies.
• Deflecting or disregarding affirmation can prevent individuals from experiencing its full benefits.
• Developing the ability to receive positive feedback is crucial for personal growth.

"I would say that's probably why you're starving for affirmation is maybe you're bad at receiving the affirmation God's already bringing your way."

• Suggests that difficulty in accepting affirmation may lead to a constant need for it.

"The healthiest things you can develop as a follower of Jesus is the ability to receive good news about you."

• Encourages the development of openness to positive feedback as part of spiritual and personal growth.

• Self-doubt can overshadow the positive impact of encouragement, leading to internal conflict.
• Embracing encouragement involves acknowledging one's achievements and potential despite perceived shortcomings.
• Courage can be fostered by accepting rather than dismissing encouragement.

"My gut reactions go, yeah, but in my head. Yeah, but you don't know what I don't know."

• Illustrates the internal conflict between receiving praise and self-doubt.

"What's going to give you courage? Is it to yabut encouragement or is it to take the encouragement to take it?"

• Posits that accepting encouragement can build courage and confidence.

• The conversation begins with the identification of a negative internal voice, referred to as "yabut," which questions and undermines positive thoughts or encouragement.
• It is suggested that this voice may originate from past authority figures such as parents or teachers and becomes internalized over time.
• The process of addressing this involves recognizing the voice, disagreeing with it, and seeking divine guidance to align with a more positive self-image.

"Yabba, you identify and you ask yourself, where does that voice come from? Is that God's voice to me?"

• The speaker emphasizes the importance of discerning the origin of negative thoughts, questioning whether they are divinely inspired or self-imposed.

"Sometimes that voice is a pattern. It's somewhere in your life you were taught to yabut and maybe it's an authority in your life, a teacher, a parent, or Somebody who, when something good would happen, would come along and would yabut your encouragement."

• The negative internal voice is often a learned pattern from past interactions, which can be recognized and challenged.

• A simple process is suggested: recognize the negative voice, consciously reject it, and replace it with positive affirmations or encouragement.
• The importance of accepting encouragement without attaching negative qualifiers is highlighted.

"Step one is to recognize that that's what's being said in your head. Step two is to say, I don't agree with that. God help me agree with you."

• A step-by-step approach is outlined to help individuals reject negative internal dialogue and replace it with positive reinforcement.

"I'm just going to receive encouragement and just train yourself to go, thank you. And then believe it."

• Training oneself to accept and believe in positive reinforcement is crucial for overcoming self-doubt.

• The discussion explores the difference between genuine conviction, which is constructive, and the destructive nature of the "yabut" voice.
• Conviction is described as a divine correction meant for personal growth, whereas "yabut" is an internal criticism that hinders progress.

"So part of why I think I listen to the yeah but is like, well, what I mean, I know the Holy Spirit convicts me."

• The speaker acknowledges the challenge of differentiating between constructive divine guidance and negative self-talk.

"If you get the encouragement and then you hear the yabba and you're like, that's God convicting me. That's a sandwich. He doesn't make sandwiches."

• The analogy of a "sandwich" is used to illustrate how mixing encouragement with criticism can dilute the positive impact of genuine encouragement.

• Encouragement is positioned as a powerful tool that can instill confidence and foster positive change in areas of perceived weakness.
• Believing in positive feedback can lead to behavioral changes and improved outcomes.

"That should give you encouragement, put courage into you, that maybe the spots where you're not doing as great can get better."

• Encouragement is seen as a catalyst for improvement, providing the confidence needed to address areas of personal development.

"If you think you're gonna fail, you're likely to fail. If you think you're gonna succeed, everything changes."

• The belief in one's potential to succeed is emphasized as a critical factor influencing future outcomes.

• The episode concludes with a call to action to eliminate negative self-talk and embrace positive reinforcement.
• The importance of recognizing and addressing self-doubt as a small yet critical step towards personal growth is reiterated.

"Kill the yabbits. Happy hunting. Love you guys."

• The final message encourages listeners to actively work on eliminating negative internal dialogue and embrace a more positive mindset.