The End of Procrastination: Emotional Avoidance & Self-Abuse

In this episode of The Art of Accomplishment, the focus is on understanding and addressing procrastination. Joe, who has overcome his own procrastination, explains that it often stems from emotional avoidance and self-criticism. He highlights that procrastination is not about failing to do tasks but avoiding unpleasant emotional states. Joe suggests that shifting to an iterative mindset and embracing judgment can transform procrastination into productive action. By learning to enjoy the process and listen deeply to oneself, individuals can align their priorities and reduce procrastination, ultimately freeing up energy for more consistent and effective work.

• Procrastination involves self-abuse and questioning of oneself, often requiring deep unlearning.
• It is often a signal that priorities may be misaligned, challenging the effectiveness of one's agenda.
• Procrastination is defined as telling oneself to do something important and then not doing it, often due to an expectation mismatch.

"Procrastination requires the self-abuse. It requires the questioning of self."

• Procrastination involves a cycle of self-criticism and doubt.

"What if the procrastination is a signal that our priorities are just way off?"

• Procrastination may indicate that one's current priorities are not aligned with true needs or goals.

• Understanding procrastination is key to overcoming it; it involves recognizing its effects on one's system.
• The process involves distinguishing between procrastination and prioritization without self-abuse.
• Self-judgment and shame are often linked to procrastination, affecting how tasks are prioritized.

"To understand procrastination was a journey. And the more I understood it, the less procrastination happened."

• Gaining insight into procrastination reduces its occurrence.

"Procrastination is telling yourself you should do something and then not doing it."

• Procrastination is tied to unmet self-imposed expectations.

"If you couldn't be self-abusive, if you couldn't be hard on yourself... how much procrastination would happen?"

• Self-abuse is a significant factor in procrastination; without it, procrastination might decrease.

• The distinction between procrastination and prioritization is crucial; it involves assessing tasks without self-judgment.
• Procrastination can be reframed as prioritization, where tasks are done when one is ready, without guilt.
• The concept of procrastination is often misapplied; many people are more productive than they believe.

"Or is that prioritization without self-abuse? Which is it?"

• The difference between procrastination and prioritization lies in the presence or absence of self-abuse.

"Most people do 100 things a day without procrastination."

• Many individuals are productive and only procrastinate on a few tasks, challenging the label of "procrastinator."

• Procrastination is linked to avoiding certain emotional states, such as fear of judgment or failure.
• Addressing the emotional reality underlying procrastination can lead to its reduction.
• An iterative process, rather than seeking perfection, can enhance productivity and creativity.

"Procrastination is... the avoidance of an emotional state."

• Avoiding negative emotions is a primary driver of procrastination.

"If you actually address that emotional reality... then procrastination just starts disappearing."

• Tackling the emotional aspects of tasks can diminish procrastination.

• Creativity and productivity benefit from iterative processes rather than perfectionism.
• Embracing a child-like approach to initial attempts can foster consistent creativity and improvement.

"You do your first pass of something like you're a three-year-old."

• Adopting a playful, iterative mindset can enhance creativity and reduce procrastination.

• The creative process involves initial uninhibited creation followed by meticulous editing to achieve a refined final product.
• Procrastination often stems from pressure and self-judgment, which can impede the creative process.
• The concept of procrastination is reframed as emotional avoidance, suggesting that enjoyment and non-judgmental attitudes can mitigate procrastination.

"You learn how to just get out of your head, get out of judgment, just let whatever is going to come come and then take as many passes as you need until you think, 'Wow, that thing is amazing.'"

• This quote emphasizes the importance of separating the initial creative phase from the editing phase to avoid self-judgment and enhance creativity.

"The first part of ending procrastination in my life was understanding that it was emotional avoidance. So, and the solution to that was what do I have to do to make this enjoyable?"

• The speaker identifies procrastination as a form of emotional avoidance and suggests that adopting a playful, non-judgmental mindset can transform the process into an enjoyable experience.

• Pressure can lead to procrastination due to the discomfort and tension it creates.
• High-pressure situations can force individuals to act without overthinking, which can be beneficial in some contexts.
• Procrastination involves self-doubt and questioning one's abilities, contributing to delays in task completion.

"Pressure is uncomfortable. Pressure is tension. Pressure is constriction."

• The quote highlights how pressure can create an environment that fosters procrastination due to its uncomfortable nature.

"If you have 30 minutes to write your paper, you're not going to be in your head judging yourself. You got x amount of time. I'm going to just do what comes out."

• This illustrates how limited time can force individuals to focus on the task at hand rather than getting caught up in self-criticism.

• Procrastination is linked to self-judgment and questioning one's capabilities.
• New tasks or projects that are unfamiliar are more prone to procrastination due to fear of failure or judgment.
• Iterative processes can help reduce the fear of making mistakes by focusing on continuous improvement.

"Procrastination requires the self-abuse. It requires the questioning of self, questioning your capacity to get it done."

• The quote explains that procrastination is fueled by self-doubt and negative self-assessment, which hinders progress.

"Most of the time it requires an iterative mindset which is the job isn't to get it done on a timeline. The job is to iterate on it."

• This suggests that adopting an iterative approach can alleviate procrastination by removing the pressure of perfection and encouraging ongoing development.

• Employees often prioritize tasks they are familiar with over unfamiliar ones, which can disrupt business processes.
• This behavior can lead to incomplete projects and hinder company growth when critical tasks are neglected.
• Encouraging employees to tackle unfamiliar tasks first can lead to more successful outcomes and better alignment with customer needs.

"They'll do everything they know how to do and then they'll do the thing they don't know how to do last, if they do it at all."

• The quote points out a common tendency to avoid unfamiliar tasks, which can be detrimental to project completion and business success.

"Some companies really require that sales or marketing and it'll kill the company because that's the thing they didn't know that they didn't feel good about rather than doing that first."

• This emphasizes the importance of addressing critical tasks that may be outside of one's comfort zone to ensure business success.

• A mindset shift can help individuals anticipate and embrace external judgment as an opportunity for growth.
• Positive reinforcement for progress, regardless of perfection, can foster a more constructive approach to tasks.
• Anticipating judgment allows individuals to find freedom and resilience in their responses to feedback.

"You can't stop people from judging you, however what you can do is you can actually look forward to the judgment."

• The quote suggests that viewing judgment as an opportunity rather than a threat can lead to personal growth and improved resilience.

"You're setting it up so that you're just getting positive reinforcement no matter what you do."

• This highlights the value of creating an environment where progress is celebrated, reducing the fear of judgment and encouraging continuous improvement.

• Judgment from others can be a valuable part of the learning process, helping refine ideas and skills.
• Viewing judgment as feedback can lead to personal growth and improvement.
• Distinguishing between judgment and discernment allows for a healthier perspective on criticism.

"Because if I get triggered, I'm going to learn something. Then what on earth would make me scared of being judged?"

• Being triggered by judgment is viewed as an opportunity for learning rather than a threat.

"I can't actually do an art form without judgment and get better."

• Judgment is seen as essential for artistic and personal development.

"Discernment, I think, is better than judgment."

• Differentiating between judgment and discernment helps in perceiving feedback constructively.

• Procrastination might indicate misaligned priorities or ineffective strategies.
• Negative self-talk can obscure the true reasons behind procrastination.
• Recognizing and responding to internal signals can clarify priorities and actions.

"Procrastination is always that's not the thing to do that there's only one question is it do I do it differently or is that actually the right priority."

• Procrastination prompts a reassessment of whether an action is necessary or needs to be approached differently.

"When I stopped beating myself up... All of a sudden, like there was just no idea of procrastination."

• Eliminating negative self-talk can dissolve the concept of procrastination.

"People who do not procrastinate in general pick the right first domino better than the people who procrastinate."

• Effective prioritization is key to overcoming procrastination.

• Sometimes, not acting immediately can lead to better outcomes.
• Non-action can be a strategic choice that allows for natural resolution of issues.
• Experimentation with action and inaction can reveal more effective solutions.

"I started to learn that if I didn't respond within the first 24 hours, often they resolved their own problem."

• Delaying response can allow others to solve their problems, highlighting the value of non-action.

"There was a deeper wisdom that was just there's a better way here that involves non-action."

• Recognizing when non-action is beneficial can lead to smoother solutions.

• Procrastination can stem from a rigid mindset that doesn't allow for exploration or wonder.
• Being open to discovery and aligning with natural rhythms can counteract procrastination.
• Viewing life with curiosity rather than predetermined expectations fosters flexibility.

"Procrastinating is like a form of knowing. I've decided how things should be."

• Procrastination can result from fixed expectations about how tasks should be approached.

"If I've decided what my priorities should be in advance and I'm not living alive in the moment... then I can tell myself I'm procrastinating."

• Pre-set priorities can lead to a disconnect from present needs and natural rhythms.

• Iterative approaches and rapid experimentation can enhance learning and skill development.
• Allowing for mistakes and focusing on learning from them accelerates improvement.
• Creating environments that support rapid iteration can lead to significant progress.

"It allows me to have a lot more iterations, which makes me learn much quicker than most folks."

• Iterative learning enables faster skill acquisition and adaptation.

"Let's just do tons of these. It's okay that people think I suck."

• Embracing frequent practice and feedback, even at the risk of initial failure, leads to mastery.

• Discussion on procrastination not only at a personal level but also within organizations and relationships.
• The concept of perceived procrastination from external influences, such as family expectations.
• The impact of societal and familial pressures on personal desires and actions.

"The internalization of the idea that whatever I want isn't right. So you can almost draw that conclusion at that stage that the thing that I do want is probably not the thing."

• This quote highlights the internal conflict and self-doubt instilled by external pressures, leading to procrastination and self-criticism.

• The process of unlearning negative self-talk and rebuilding self-trust.
• Importance of listening to oneself instead of succumbing to internalized criticism.
• The role of parents and educators in shaping a child's self-perception and trust.

"That's the unlearning that helps you see through the critical voice in your head."

• The quote emphasizes the necessity of unlearning ingrained negative self-talk to enhance personal effectiveness and reduce procrastination.

• Misguided guidance can lead to self-criticism and procrastination.
• The balance between guidance and control by caregivers and its long-term effects on children.
• The importance of attunement and deep listening in overcoming procrastination.

"Somebody who in their best heart wanted the best for me and they were scared and they because of that fear they felt they had to control."

• This quote illustrates how fear-driven control by caregivers can result in a loss of self-trust and increased procrastination.

• Significance of bodily awareness in the learning process.
• The developmental stages of children and their impact on intellectual learning.
• The importance of aligning intellectual and physical development.

"It turns out it's no good to teach people the head piece before the body piece."

• The quote underscores the need for a holistic approach to learning that integrates both physical and intellectual development.

• Deep listening to oneself as a method to combat procrastination.
• Differentiating between internalized judgment and genuine self-reflection.
• The importance of addressing underlying emotions to move past procrastination.

"The solution for procrastination on some level is to actually listen to yourself really deeply."

• This quote highlights deep self-listening as a key strategy for overcoming procrastination and achieving personal alignment.

• The challenge of facing discomfort and judgment in personal projects.
• The tendency to default to intellectual reasoning instead of holistic self-check-ins.
• The process of confronting and accepting emotions related to judgment and abandonment.

"Feel the abandonment, feel the lack of connection, and then the judgment becomes less and less scary."

• The quote suggests that by acknowledging and feeling emotions related to judgment, individuals can reduce its power and impact on procrastination.

• Introduction of practical exercises to address procrastination.
• The difference between theoretical understanding and practical application.
• Encouragement to engage in experiments to better understand and combat procrastination.

"I actually have a couple of exercises that I think are really useful for procrastination."

• This quote introduces the idea of practical exercises as a means to apply theoretical insights into actionable steps to reduce procrastination.