Success = Ingrained Intolerance Ep 235



In the Gym Secrets podcast episode, the host discusses the importance of personal growth and setting boundaries, especially in the context of family relationships and entrepreneurial success. The host shares personal anecdotes about confronting outdated perceptions from family members and emphasizes the need to actively combat negative labels to maintain progress. He advocates for entrepreneurs to challenge their self-imposed limitations and beliefs to accelerate growth, using examples like rapid team expansion and mindset shifts. The episode also touches on the significance of a supportive environment for development and the power of belief in achieving rapid business success.

Summary Notes

Introduction to Gym Secrets Podcast Episode

  • The episode originally aired in December of 2018.
  • Focus on customer acquisition, increasing customer value, and retention.
  • Speaker shares personal growth experiences and business lessons.

Welcome to the Gym Secrets podcast. This episode originally aired in December of 2018.

The quote marks the introduction to the podcast episode, setting the context for the discussion on business strategies and personal anecdotes.

Concept of Ingrained Intolerance and Personal Growth

  • Speaker has been reflecting on a concept for two and a half weeks.
  • The concept intertwines with other ideas and is related to personal growth and success.
  • Speaker introduces the concept as "success equals ingrained intolerance."

I'm really excited for this podcast ass video because I've actually had this concept on my mind, this piece, probably for the last two and a half weeks.

This quote indicates the speaker's anticipation to discuss a concept that has been on their mind, suggesting it is of significant importance to them.

Avoiding Home During the Holidays

  • Speaker avoids going home for the holidays due to lack of growth in others.
  • People from the past have difficulty reconciling the speaker's past self with their current self.
  • The speaker's refusal to be put back into the box of others' perceptions.

And so one of the reasons that I don't go home for the holidays is that a lot of people haven't grown since I left, right?

The quote explains the speaker's decision to avoid returning home during holidays, attributing it to others' lack of personal growth and change.

Encountering Misconceptions from the Past

  • Family and acquaintances attempt to label the speaker based on past behaviors.
  • Speaker aggressively combats misconceptions to maintain their current identity.
  • The discomfort caused by confronting these misconceptions head-on.

And so I'll go home and they'll say, oh, like my dad says this, he'll say, you have the shortest fuse out of anyone.

This quote exemplifies the type of misconceptions the speaker faces when interacting with family who remember them differently from who they are now.

The Need for Self-Reaffirmation

  • Speaker feels the need to cleanse themselves of others' attempts to redefine them.
  • The process involves a week of detangling and reaffirming their chosen identity.
  • The speaker's dislike for extended time at home due to its regressive nature.

And so when I leave, I feel like I have to wash myself of the things that people were trying to speak over me.

The quote highlights the speaker's emotional labor in rejecting the labels others try to impose, emphasizing the need for self-reaffirmation.

The Uniqueness of Entrepreneurial Success

  • Acknowledgment that the community's goals are not normal and may not be liked by everyone.
  • The speaker's subjective understanding of becoming more intolerant as they progress in business.
  • The importance of teaching others how to treat the speaker based on their current identity.

And what we are all, as a community trying to accomplish is not normal.

This quote acknowledges that the speaker's community is striving for goals that are outside the norm, which may cause friction with those who have more conventional expectations.

Managing Relationships with Family

  • Difficulty in dealing with family due to deep-rooted perceptions.
  • Speaker's candid admission about the nature of some familial relationships.
  • The strategic management of time and space when visiting family to minimize negative impact.

And it's the hardest with family because I'll be really real with you.

The quote conveys the speaker's struggle with family dynamics, where past perceptions are deeply ingrained and difficult to change.

Personal Relationships and Growth

  • The speaker reflects on the negative impact of maintaining relationships solely based on biological bonds.
  • They emphasize the importance of aligning with individuals who share similar goals and values.
  • The speaker suggests that growth may involve distancing oneself from those who make them feel worse.
  • There is an acknowledgment that their perspective on this matter may evolve over time.

"Because there's no other reason besides the fact that we share a biological bond that I would ever see you again because you don't have the same goals, you don't have the same values, you don't want to do the things I want to do when we see each other."

The quote highlights the speaker's view on the futility of maintaining relationships that lack common goals and values, suggesting that personal growth may require moving beyond such connections.

The Importance of a Quiet Space for Growth

  • The speaker discusses the necessity of having a space free from external judgments to foster personal growth.
  • They stress the importance of being able to develop new attributes without interference.

"And that's why we keep such quiet space, right? Because it's like the only place that you don't have to have your guard up, constantly fending off what other people are trying to tell you about yourself, right?"

This quote explains the value of a quiet space where one can grow without the need to defend against others' perceptions, which might be limiting or inaccurate.

Entrepreneurial Mindset and Detail Orientation

  • The speaker recounts a conversation with a high-level entrepreneur who self-identified as poor with details.
  • They challenge the entrepreneur's self-imposed limitation, suggesting that the need for detail orientation may change as the business grows.

"I was like, don't speak that over yourself. I was like, because your business might need you to be good at details when you go from ten to 20 million."

The speaker is advising the entrepreneur not to label themselves negatively, as this could hinder their ability to adapt to future business needs that may require attention to detail.

The Power of Choice and Identity

  • The speaker emphasizes the fluidity of identity and the power of choice in shaping one's abilities and beliefs.
  • They reference Tony Robbins' philosophy on living in the present and the ability to change instantly.

"You identify these things. Like, man, I'm getting really deep on. I know, but the identity is so fluid. We can change in an instant."

The quote underlines the speaker's belief in the malleability of identity and the potential for rapid personal transformation.

Questioning Deeply Held Beliefs

  • The speaker values the questioning of deeply held beliefs to uncover new possibilities for growth.
  • They share a profound saying about the nature of belief and the rarity of questioning our core convictions.

"One of my favorite sayings in the world, probably one of my favorite saying, like, one of the most profound sayings, is we question all of our beliefs except for those that we truly believe and those we never question at all."

This quote reflects on the paradox of belief, where the most deeply held beliefs are often the least examined, suggesting that growth comes from challenging even our most fundamental assumptions.

Business Growth and Model Pivoting

  • The speaker describes the rapid growth of their business after a strategic pivot.
  • They attribute the success to a change from a "done for you" model to a "done with you" model.
  • The speaker is confident in the continued exponential growth of their business.

"And so from April of 2017 until today, that's like 19 months. I think we've gone from zero to arguably the biggest company in the brick and mortar gym fitness world."

The quote provides an example of how a strategic pivot in business can lead to significant growth, showcasing the speaker's company as a case study.

Scaling Operations and Onboarding

  • The speaker discusses the challenges of scaling operations, particularly in customer service.
  • They recount a story of a friend who rapidly expanded their team due to a surge in demand.
  • The speaker contrasts this with their own company's more conservative approach to team expansion.

"And he hired 30 people in 14 days for his customer service team."

This quote demonstrates the speaker's point about the necessity driving rapid expansion, suggesting that under certain circumstances, businesses can scale much faster than they typically plan for.

Audience Engagement and Word of Mouth

  • The speaker requests the audience to promote the podcast through word of mouth.
  • They emphasize the organic growth of the podcast without the use of ads or sponsorships.

"The only way this grows is through word of mouth. And so I don't run ads. I don't do sponsorships."

The quote underscores the speaker's reliance on the audience's recommendations to grow the podcast's listenership, highlighting a personal approach to marketing.

The Power of Belief and Mindset in Personal Growth

  • Belief systems can dramatically influence outcomes and personal growth.
  • Changing beliefs can lead to different actions and results.
  • The speaker emphasizes the importance of believing in one's ability to achieve rapid growth or change.

"It allows us to break our beliefs because we have to. We have no other choice."

This quote underlines the necessity of challenging and altering our beliefs when faced with situations that require it, highlighting the adaptability of human belief systems.

"The fact that it's just what you believe that changes the outcome and the influence on the other person, is so cool to me."

The speaker is fascinated by how belief can change not only personal outcomes but also how it can influence others.

Experimenting with Physical Transformation

  • The speaker discusses an experiment where they gained a significant amount of muscle in a short time.
  • The experiment was started with a hypothetical question aimed at challenging perceived limitations.
  • The speaker attributes the success of the physical transformation to the mental confines they imposed on themselves.

"I put on, like, 35 pounds of muscle in six weeks... And it was 35 pounds, and a lot of it was muscle within six weeks."

This quote describes the speaker's personal experiment with rapid muscle gain, emphasizing the remarkable results achieved in a short period.

"I started the article off by saying, like, what if you actually had to gain 35 pounds in six weeks and... What would you do?"

The speaker began their article with a provocative question to the reader, which also framed their own mindset for the experiment.

Self-Reflection on Personal Narratives

  • The speaker reflects on the narratives and beliefs we allow others to impose on us and those we impose on ourselves.
  • Questioning these narratives is seen as a key factor in personal and business growth.

"Sometimes I wonder, what things are we allowing to be spoken over ourselves by others first? And then second, what things are we speaking over ourselves that we don't even know that we're doing?"

This quote prompts reflection on the external and internal narratives that shape our beliefs and actions, suggesting that awareness of these can drive growth.

Case Study: Chris and Robin Barnett's Bottleneck

  • Chris and Robin Barnett faced a bottleneck in their business and personal life.
  • The speaker helped them by addressing their beliefs rather than offering tactical business advice.
  • The situation with Robin Barnett highlights the impact of beliefs on personal choices and relationship dynamics.

"We feel like we're stuck, right? We feel like we're in a bottleneck and we're just trying to break through."

Chris and Robin Barnett express a feeling of being stuck, indicating a need for change to overcome their bottleneck.

"Robin, Chris's wife, didn't want to be in the gym anymore... And it was causing some strife in their relationship."

This quote outlines the personal conflict Robin Barnett was experiencing, which was affecting both her work and her relationship with Chris.

Immediate Action vs. Protracted Change

  • The speaker challenges the Barnetts' assumption that leaving the business should take four months, suggesting immediate action instead.
  • This illustrates the speaker's belief in the power of immediate change over gradual processes when the situation calls for it.

"Why doesn't she just get out today?... Why are you choosing to believe that it needs to take four months?"

The speaker questions the Barnetts' timeline for Robin to exit the business, challenging the belief that change must be a slow process.

Growth and Success in Business

  • The speaker has had conversations with successful business owners about growth and success.
  • The common theme is a belief in the possibility of success, which seems to be a critical factor.
  • The speaker has come to appreciate mindset over tactical advice in achieving success.

"We've really just chosen to believe it's possible."

The speaker emphasizes the choice to believe in the possibility of success as a driving factor in their business growth.

Maintaining a Clean Mental Space

  • Successful individuals often keep their environment and mental space uncluttered.
  • This practice allows them to have clear perspective and vision, which is crucial for identifying and addressing issues.

"The higher up you go, the cleaner people keep their space."

This quote suggests that successful people tend to maintain a clean and undisturbed environment to focus better on their goals.

"It gives them such clean perspective and clean vision on what's going on."

The speaker notes that a clean mental space offers clarity in understanding and addressing business challenges.

Business Growth and Decision-Making

  • Entrepreneurs often struggle with deciding which business venture to focus on, especially when one is more profitable and enjoyable than the other.
  • It is suggested that eliminating the less profitable, more complex business could free up resources to double the profits of the more favorable one.
  • The conversation highlights the difficulty of seeing the obvious path due to personal beliefs and emotional attachments.
  • Wisdom in business is equated to the ability to see what others cannot, often obscured by self-imposed limitations.

"And he's like, so I just can't figure out how to grow. And I was like, do you really can't figure out how to grow?"

This quote underscores the entrepreneur's uncertainty about growth, which is challenged by the speaker to provoke a realization of potential solutions.

"It's just the beliefs that we truly believe are the ones that we don't see."

This quote emphasizes that the most deeply held beliefs are often invisible to us, thereby influencing our decisions without our conscious awareness.

Self-Limiting Beliefs in Business

  • Entrepreneurs may unknowingly choose to make less money due to self-limiting beliefs.
  • Gym owners, as an example, might be stuck at a certain income level due to beliefs they haven't identified.
  • The speaker suggests that beliefs should be examined for their practicality and that illogical decisions should be reconsidered.
  • Conversations with successful entrepreneurs often end with them realizing that their self-limiting beliefs were holding them back.

"It's a belief that you have that you haven't identified that's holding you back."

This quote identifies the root cause of stagnation in business growth as unrecognized personal beliefs.

"A lot of times it's just because you're choosing to make less money."

This quote reveals the surprising truth that financial underperformance can be a choice stemming from one's beliefs and decisions.

The Role of Emotions in Business Decisions

  • Emotional decision-making is a common human behavior that can obstruct logical business choices.
  • The speaker points out that logical analysis often reveals clear answers to problems that emotions complicate.
  • Fear of losing clients or facing change can prevent business owners from making necessary improvements.
  • Seeking external perspective can be valuable in overcoming emotional barriers to growth.

"We make decisions with emotions, and we try and logic it later."

This quote explains the human tendency to rationalize emotional decisions post-factum instead of making decisions based on logic from the outset.

"The fear of losing these few clients that are attached to this one trainer is outweighing the potential growth you would have from the key player that you know you need in order to make the model work."

This quote illustrates how emotional attachments can hinder business growth and the importance of evaluating decisions based on their potential for success.

Mindfulness and Positive Self-Talk

  • The speaker advises being mindful of negative comments from others and oneself.
  • Assertiveness in addressing hurtful remarks is encouraged, as well as distancing oneself from those who are unsupportive.
  • Self-talk should be constructive, and beliefs that do not serve one's goals should be discarded.
  • The importance of valuing one's attention and ensuring a good return on it is stressed.

"Be mindful of the things that people speak over you and the tone that they do it."

This quote advises vigilance over the impact of others' words and the importance of protecting oneself from negativity.

"Be mindful of the things that you're saying, and then ask yourself, does this belief serve me? And if it doesn't, get rid of it."

This quote is a call to self-awareness and the conscious choice to adopt beliefs that are beneficial to personal and business growth.

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