I Married For Money Ep 327

Summary Notes


In a candid discussion, Alex Hormozi emphasizes the significant impact of choosing the right life partner on one's net worth and business success. He shares his unconventional love story with Layla, revealing how their relationship started with a focus on business collaboration rather than romance. Despite lacking initial romantic chemistry, their shared interests and complementary skills in sales and operations led to a rapid growth in their joint business ventures. Alex and Layla's partnership, which began with a logical decision to marry, evolved into love over time. He advises that a partner can either be a supportive cheerleader or an active fullback in business, highlighting the importance of role division and mutual growth. Hormozi also touches on the necessity of managing the dichotomy between closeness and distance in a relationship to maintain intrigue and trust, and how their prioritization of their marriage in 2020 significantly improved their personal and professional lives.

Summary Notes

Importance of Marriage in Net Worth

  • The most important decision for increasing net worth is not business, industry, market, pricing, or lead generation strategy, but rather who you marry.
  • A spouse can either be a source of constant friction or a pillar of support.
  • Most marriages fall into either the 'grating' or 'neutral' category according to the speaker.

"It is who you marry. And the reason that I think this is one of the most important decisions you make in your life is because that person will either be constantly grading at you or that person will be supporting you."

This quote emphasizes the impact a spouse can have on one's life and success, suggesting that a supportive partner can be a significant asset, while a negative relationship can be a detriment.

Inability to Change One’s Spouse

  • One cannot change the fundamental nature of their spouse.
  • The speaker often receives questions about making a spouse more like Layla, particularly in terms of business interest, but stresses that change is not possible.
  • Acceptance of a spouse's nature is implied as necessary.

"How do I get my wife to be like Layla? How do I get her to like business? And the simple answer is, you don't, because you don't change who you marry. They're not going to change."

The quote directly addresses the common inquiry about changing a spouse's interests, particularly in business, and provides a straightforward response that individuals cannot change who they marry, highlighting the importance of compatibility and acceptance.

Unconventional Courtship and Marriage

  • Layla and the speaker's relationship began with a short, low-commitment date.
  • There was no initial romantic chemistry; the interest was based on mutual intellectual stimulation and shared interests.
  • The relationship developed over time from a business partnership into a romantic partnership.
  • Layla's transition from her job to join the speaker in business was a pivotal moment in their relationship.

"We actually went on a date, and it was a 15 minutes date because I try to get her to do Froyo because I said it was low commitment, and if either of us was weird, we could dip out really quickly."

This quote describes the low-pressure nature of their first date, which was intentionally brief to allow an easy exit if needed, reflecting a practical approach to dating.

"But over time, obviously, we worked on that. But in that first couple of dates, she was in fitness, and she was, like, one of the top salesmen at 24 hours fitness at the time."

This quote acknowledges that while there was no initial romantic spark, the couple had shared interests and recognized each other's talents, laying the groundwork for their future partnership.

"And so at that point, she actually left her roster of personal training clients and joined me in launching the gyms."

This quote marks a significant commitment by Layla to leave her job and join the speaker in business, which was a turning point in both their professional and personal relationship.

Business Partnership and Division of Roles

  • The speaker attributes the success of their businesses to Layla's partnership.
  • Understanding the division of roles was key to scaling their business from $400,000 a month to millions.
  • Layla and the speaker naturally worked well together, complementing each other's strengths.

"I think there's no coincidence that my businesses exploded once I met Layla, because she really was the yin to my yang when it came to everything that we had to do."

The quote suggests that Layla's involvement was a catalyst for the business's success, highlighting the synergy between the couple's skills and efforts in their business endeavors.

Division of Responsibilities

  • Layla and Alex started as a strong sales team, tag-teaming responsibilities.
  • They realized the need to divide tasks as the business grew.
  • A mentor helped them by assigning 80% of tasks to Layla, leaving marketing, sales, and product to Alex.
  • Layla's growth-oriented attitude and commitment to not letting the business fail were pivotal to their success.
  • Alex attributes the business's explosive growth to Layla's operational skills meeting the demand he generated.

And so he took this big marker, and he drew a big circle around, like, 80% of it, and he was like, all this goes to Leila.

This quote highlights the mentor's role in dividing tasks between Layla and Alex, emphasizing Layla's significant responsibility in the business.

And I think that's one of the big reasons that we were able to massively explode after that, because we had an amazing operator who could basically fulfill all the promises and handle the flow that I could generate.

Alex's explanation shows the effectiveness of the division of labor, with Layla's operational excellence complementing his sales and marketing efforts, leading to the business's rapid growth.

Personal and Professional Relationship Dynamics

  • Layla and Alex's business relationship evolved amidst their personal relationship, raising concerns among employees.
  • Alex proposed marriage as a strategic and logical progression of their partnership, considering their backgrounds, interests, and successful work relationship.
  • They were engaged for less than a week and married on a Wednesday night, with only a pastor in attendance.
  • They informed their parents post-marriage, an unconventional approach that worked for them.
  • The business side of their relationship was natural, but they had to work on the romantic aspect.

And so I actually came to Layla, and I had a true proposition, all right? Like a proposal in the truest sense of the word.

Alex's recollection of proposing to Layla indicates how their personal and professional lives were deeply intertwined, leading to a marriage proposal that felt logical and strategic.

So we were engaged for less than a week, and that was it.

This quote captures the rapid progression from engagement to marriage, reflecting their decisive and unconventional approach to their relationship.

The Role of a Partner in Business

  • Alex believes a partner can play one of two roles if not involved in the business: a cheerleader or a fullback.
  • A cheerleader supports from the sidelines without interfering with critical moments, while a fullback actively blocks and tackles obstacles.
  • The metaphor emphasizes the importance of a partner's support in an entrepreneur's journey.
  • A partner who detracts from the entrepreneur's goals is not fulfilling either supportive role.

They can either be a cheerleader or they can be a fullback.

Alex introduces the concept of a partner's role in an entrepreneur's life, using sports metaphors to differentiate the types of support a partner can provide.

And that's my point is that if they're not doing one of these two things, they are detracting from what you ultimately want to do.

This quote stresses that a partner's lack of support, or any action that detracts from the entrepreneur's objectives, is not conducive to success, highlighting the necessity of a supportive role.

Access to Content and Engagement

  • Alex encourages listeners to access the video version of the podcast for enhanced content.
  • The video format offers additional effects, visuals, and graphs that may appeal to different learning styles.
  • Alex's invitation to his YouTube channel implies a commitment to providing valuable content in various formats for audience preference.

If you ever want to have the video version of this, which usually has more effects, more visuals, more graphs, drawn out stuff, sometimes it can help hit the brain centers in different ways.

Alex suggests that the video version of the podcast could offer a more engaging and visually stimulating experience, catering to viewers who prefer such content.

Go check that out if that's what you are into. And if not, keep enjoying the show.

With this quote, Alex gives his audience the option to choose their preferred content format, showing respect for diverse preferences and promoting continued engagement with his material.

Role of a Cheerleader in a Relationship

  • A cheerleader in a relationship provides support by helping their partner detach from work and gain perspective.
  • This role helps in recognizing the importance of other aspects of life, which can lead to better decision-making in business.
  • The cheerleader offers context and perspective on the relative importance of business in one's life.

"And the role that cheerleader plays is that when you are not at work, it helps you detach from work. So you gain distance, gain perspective, can realize that there are other things that are important in life which ultimately will actually make you a better business person."

This quote emphasizes the cheerleader's function as a provider of balance and perspective in a partner's life, highlighting the value of detachment from work-related stress for overall well-being and improved business performance.

Fullback Dynamic in Relationships

  • Layla and the speaker employ the "fullback" dynamic, where one partner blocks while the other advances, and they alternate roles.
  • Both partners are active participants on the field, contributing to the relationship's progress.

"The other role is the dynamic that Leila and I have, which is the fullback role, which is that one person is blocking while the other person carries the ball down the field, and we're rotating."

This quote describes the teamwork within the relationship, where both partners take turns in supporting each other to move forward, metaphorically passing the ball and blocking as needed.

Dichotomies in Relationships

  • Relationships contain dichotomies that must be managed, not solved, similar to business challenges like micromanaging versus delegation.
  • Relationships have a dichotomy between closeness and familiarity versus distance and intrigue.
  • In the early stages of a relationship, closeness improves it, but too much familiarity can lead to a lack of variety and intrigue.
  • Actively creating space is crucial for maintaining a balance between familiarity and intrigue, especially for couples who work and live together.
  • The goal is to find a middle ground in the closeness-intrigue dichotomy and to manage the relationship's natural pendulum swing between the two.

"And I think this was such a. I'm going to share this with you because I think it's so valuable. As Americans or many of us in the western world, we want to solve problems when in reality, many times there are dichotomies that must be managed but cannot be solved."

This quote introduces the concept that some challenges in relationships are ongoing and require constant management rather than a one-time solution, drawing a parallel with complex issues in business management.

Creating Shared Reality in Relationships

  • Couples must work to share experiences and create a shared reality to grow together in the same direction.
  • Entrepreneurial stimulus from business leads to personal growth, and it's important to align this growth with a partner's growth.
  • The aim is to prevent growing apart and feeling disconnected or like strangers in the long term.

"And so if you're in one of those relationships, then the goal should always be, how can we share our experience? How can we create a shared reality? How can we grow together and make sure we are growing in the same direction?"

This quote stresses the importance of mutual growth and shared experiences in a relationship to maintain a sense of connection and understanding over time, avoiding the risk of feeling alienated from one's partner.

Relationship Dynamics and Personal Growth

  • Maintaining a relationship involves finding a balance in the dichotomy of change.
  • Creating space in a relationship can lead to a stronger connection upon reunion.
  • Love can be intentionally developed through actions rather than just felt spontaneously.
  • Open communication about dissatisfaction can lead to significant improvements in a relationship.
  • Shared reality and truth are foundational for moving forward with integrity.
  • Understanding each other's roles in a business and personal relationship is crucial.

But I think that in order to maintain the relationship, it's maintaining the middle ground of that dichotomy.

This quote emphasizes the importance of balance and adaptability in sustaining a relationship amidst change.

And I think that we need to create more space to be missed, especially if you work with your spouse.

The speaker suggests that absence can strengthen a relationship, particularly when partners work closely together.

We both share the belief that you can create love through actions.

This conveys the idea that love is not only a feeling but can be built and nurtured through deliberate, loving actions.

I was not in love with Layla when we got married. Real talk.

An honest admission that love can start from a logical decision rather than romantic feelings, and can grow over time.

We were so fear driven that we were going to lose the thing that we made.

The speaker acknowledges that fear can be a driving force in business and personal decisions, influencing behavior and relationship dynamics.

And so by even just admitting that we had a shared reality, it allowed us to move forward with a perspective of truth and integrity first.

Openly discussing and agreeing on a shared reality can pave the way for progress and honesty within a relationship.

Figuring out whether the person is a cheerleader or a fullback is an important step.

Recognizing and understanding each other's roles and support styles is essential for relationship and business harmony.

Business Success and Personal Fulfillment

  • Business success can be driven by fear, such as the fear of poverty or loss of status.
  • Financial success does not guarantee personal happiness or a fulfilling relationship.
  • Prioritizing personal relationships over business can lead to greater overall satisfaction.
  • Business decisions can be based on logic and strategic thinking, leading to successful outcomes.

As you're building your business in the beginning, you fear being poor.

This quote reflects the common fear of financial failure that motivates many entrepreneurs in the early stages of business.

We had made $30 million in profit in the last 24 months.

A statement of significant business achievement that sets the context for the speaker's reflection on personal vs. business priorities.

We were going to prioritize our marriage.

The decision to focus on the marriage over business signifies a shift in priorities towards personal fulfillment.

Our marriage probably tripled that year in terms of how much better it is now, et cetera.

An expression of the positive impact that prioritizing the marriage had on the quality of the relationship.

Integrating Business and Personal Life

  • Balancing closeness and space in a relationship is key when working with a spouse.
  • Identifying and addressing underlying resentments can improve relationship dynamics.
  • Expressing unhappiness can diffuse tension and lead to mutual understanding.
  • Radical candor and emotional honesty are important for a healthy relationship and business partnership.

And so what's interesting is that in 2020, despite the fact that our businesses got hit because of COVID and Whatnot, our marriage probably tripled that year in terms of how much better it is now, et cetera.

Despite business challenges, prioritizing the marriage led to significant improvements in the relationship.

I think even saying, hey, I'm not really happy with how life is going for us was actually really valuable.

Acknowledging personal dissatisfaction can be a catalyst for positive change in a relationship.

And so if you have a spouse who's in your business, I think figuring out whether the person is a cheerleader or a fullback is an important step.

Understanding your spouse's role and how they support you in business is crucial for navigating the relationship.

Business Philosophy and Strategy

  • Love and business decisions can be approached logically and strategically.
  • A successful business can be built without initially selling anything, focusing on providing value instead.
  • Sharing personal experiences can provide valuable insights to others in similar situations.

We married for logic. We married for business reasons.

An unconventional approach to marriage, highlighting a strategic decision based on logic rather than solely on romantic love.

We do $85 million a year. Like I said, I have nothing to sell you.

The speaker's business success is mentioned to underline the credibility of their advice, emphasizing that their intention is not to sell but to share knowledge.

If you enjoyed this, hit the subscribe button and I will see you guys in the next video.

A call to action for the audience to engage with the content if they find it valuable, a common strategy to build a following and share insights.

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