Honoring The Game (w Tom Bilyeu) Pt. 2 Sept. '22 Ep 483



Alex Hormozi and the host discuss the profound impact of mindset and beliefs on success. Hormozi argues that the key differentiator between successful and unsuccessful individuals is not resources but resourcefulness, and the refusal to attribute power to external circumstances. He emphasizes the need to question and shift deeply held beliefs that may hinder progress, citing the importance of mentorship in challenging and reshaping these perspectives. Hormozi also shares personal insights on happiness, suggesting that excessive focus on happiness can be counterproductive, advocating instead for presence and appreciation of the human experience. The conversation also touches on the concept of framing experiences, with Hormozi introducing the "grandfather frame," which encourages viewing life from the perspective of one's older self to foster gratitude and diminish stress. The host and Hormozi agree that while success is unpredictable and failure is inevitable, fulfillment should be the ultimate goal, with Hormozi concluding that owning one's circumstances is crucial, as external validation or excuses will not lead to personal growth or achievement.

Summary Notes

Attribution of Success and Circumstance

  • The distinction between successful and less successful individuals is often attributed to their perception of circumstances.
  • Self-made billionaires who started from nothing show that resourcefulness is more critical than resources.
  • Successful people view business as a game and strive to learn from their experiences to grow their businesses.

"The difference between a self made billionaire who started with nothing and someone who else started with nothing is not the resources, obviously, because they both started at zero. So what else is it? It's their resourcefulness, not the resources."

This quote highlights the importance of being resourceful and using one's abilities to overcome a lack of resources. It is not the starting point that determines success, but the approach and mindset towards one's circumstances.

The Nature of Truth and Beliefs

  • Truth is defined by its ability to predict future outcomes.
  • People often hold beliefs that they do not recognize as such, which can negatively impact their lives.
  • Questioning deeply held beliefs can reveal false assumptions and lead to more effective actions.

"That, to me, something is true based on its ability to increase your ability to predict the future and the outcome of your actions."

Tom explains his criterion for truth: the ability of a belief to accurately predict outcomes. This practical approach to truth emphasizes the importance of beliefs that are validated by experience and results.

The Power of Questioning Beliefs

  • Orson Scott Card's quote emphasizes the danger of unexamined beliefs.
  • Asking oneself about beliefs that may be false can uncover underlying assumptions that impede success.
  • It is crucial to be open to feedback from mentors to challenge and change these beliefs.

"We question all of our beliefs except for those that we truly believe and those we never think to question."

Alex shares a quote that captures the essence of critical self-reflection. It suggests that the most deeply held beliefs are often the least examined, yet they can have the most significant impact on our lives.

The Role of Sales in Challenging Beliefs

  • A good salesperson helps clients overcome false beliefs about themselves or reality.
  • Sales involve presenting a solution to a problem and convincing the client that the solution will lead to the desired outcome.
  • Breaking down false beliefs can make the sales process more straightforward.

"The process of being a good salesperson is being able to help people break the beliefs that they have about themselves or about the realities that are not true."

Alex discusses the role of a salesperson in helping clients to challenge and change their limiting beliefs. By doing so, salespeople can more effectively match their solutions to the client's needs.

The Concepts of Leverage, Skills, and Traits

  • Understanding leverage is crucial in business.
  • Skills deficiencies are the easiest to address through practice and learning.
  • Changing beliefs requires compelling stories and evidence that challenge one's reality.
  • Traits such as focus and discipline are essential for entrepreneurial success.

"A lot of people are limited by either the skills, the beliefs, or the traits they have, right. And so the skill deficiency is the easiest one to fix."

Alex explains that entrepreneurs often face limitations based on skill, belief, or trait deficiencies. Skills can be improved through practice, but changing beliefs and traits can be more complex and require different strategies.

The Value of Alternative Education and Mentorship

  • The 'guru' space, despite its criticisms, can be a valuable source of learning.
  • Traditional education often fails to teach practical skills such as finance and mindset.
  • The internet has made it easier to access knowledge and mentorship from successful individuals.

"I'm a big believer in the alternative education space, the whole guru space that everyone laments and hates. I learned everything from that space."

Alex expresses his support for alternative education platforms and the value they have provided in his own learning journey. He acknowledges the role of experienced individuals in teaching practical skills that are often not covered in traditional education.

Reflections on Personal Growth and Competitive Advantage

  • Acknowledging the advantages of learning from others can fuel personal and professional growth.
  • Each generation faces different challenges and opportunities, leading to intergenerational conflicts and misunderstandings.
  • Recognizing the benefits of the current era can help in leveraging them for success.

"Gary didn't have, like, really hit me, right? And so I think that there's Gen Z that's coming up and whatnot. There's always these disconnects and there's, I don't see wars. There's conflict between age groups, et cetera."

In a moment of epiphany, Alex realizes the significance of having access to resources and mentorship that previous generations lacked. He reflects on the generational differences in opportunities and the potential for misunderstanding between age groups.

Entrepreneurial Mindset and Generational Progress

  • Entrepreneurs often aim to make the world a better place and have an impact.
  • Advancements should ideally make things easier for the next generation, signifying success in their endeavors.
  • There is a sense of competition with predecessors, but also gratitude, as their help allows the next generation to progress faster.
  • Access to information has leveled the playing field, allowing younger entrepreneurs to accumulate knowledge and experience rapidly.
  • The new generation can be as skilled as older entrepreneurs due to resources like Warren Buffett videos and financial education.
  • Success is not just about personal achievement but also about contributing to the collective progress and enabling others to excel.

"But on the flip side, if you ask an entrepreneur what his goal is usually to make the world a better place to have an impact, et cetera."

This quote illustrates the altruistic aspect of entrepreneurship, emphasizing the desire to contribute positively to society and make a meaningful impact.

"So of course it would make sense that I get there faster. And I'm sure you've like, there are guys in their mid twenties with nine figure companies and they're killing it."

Alex reflects on the rapid success of young entrepreneurs today, acknowledging that their accelerated progress is partly due to the foundation laid by previous generations.

Embracing Competition and Leveraging Strengths

  • Competition can be a positive force, encouraging individuals to excel and push their limits.
  • Tom speaks to the importance of competition, suggesting that it should not be feared but embraced as a means of personal and professional growth.
  • Speaking and verbal skills can provide a competitive edge, as exemplified by Tom's strategic use of these talents.
  • The concept of a fixed versus growth mindset is introduced, with a fixed mindset viewing competition unfavorably due to self-doubt.
  • Competition is likened to a sport, where age or physical ability doesn't limit one's ability to compete and succeed in business.
  • The joy of competition comes from the process and the challenge, not just the outcome.

"Just figuring out doing both, because you should want to fucking crush all of them."

Tom encourages Alex to maintain a competitive spirit, suggesting that the desire to excel should extend to surpassing everyone, including himself.

"There's only one thing that I've ever gotten a disproportionate return on, and that is speaking."

Tom identifies speaking as his unique strength, which he has strategically leveraged for success, demonstrating the importance of recognizing and utilizing one's talents.

The Importance of Fun and Honor in Competition

  • The concept of fun in competition is crucial; losing sight of enjoyment can lead to a negative experience.
  • Honoring the game and fellow competitors is important, rather than focusing solely on personal victory.
  • The discussion shifts from a competitive mindset to one of respect and appreciation for the collective journey and contributions of all players.
  • The concept of game theory is introduced, with a focus on the infinite game of business, where the goal is to keep playing rather than to win in a finite sense.
  • Success is ultimately about personal fulfillment and self-perception, not external metrics like wealth or accolades.

"I would see both sides of it, right? You've got the guys who are ahead who I used to be like, I'm going to do all this, right? And the guys behind them, like, they're so lucky, right? If only I had right that thinking."

Alex acknowledges the advantage of learning from those ahead while also recognizing the benefits that future generations will have, creating a more balanced perspective on competition.

"But if I did my job, I won't be because somebody else will be better than me if I did my job."

This quote captures the essence of progress and mentorship, where the success of future generations is a testament to the impact and guidance of the current generation.

The Human Condition and the Pursuit of Fulfillment

  • Fulfillment is identified as the ultimate stable goal across both joy and pain.
  • The most exhilarating moments come from the process of working hard and the anticipation of potential success.
  • Tom emphasizes that the journey and the challenge are often more rewarding than the actual achievement.
  • Understanding the human condition involves recognizing that satisfaction is temporary and the pursuit of challenges is a constant in life.
  • The conversation highlights the necessity of finding joy in the struggle, as success cannot be guaranteed.

"You're working really hard at something and it's working. And if you pull this off, there's huge upside. That moment. It's better than the actual huge upside."

Tom conveys the idea that the process of striving towards a goal, with all its challenges and potential rewards, is more fulfilling than the achievement itself.

"All that matters is how they feel about themselves and they're by themselves. That's it. Please only chase that."

The ultimate measure of success, according to Tom, is internal satisfaction and self-perception, rather than external validation or achievements.

Embracing the Entrepreneurial Journey

  • Entrepreneurship involves appreciating the excitement before achieving a milestone.
  • Achieving micro wins and envisioning continued success can be pivotal moments.
  • The entrepreneurial journey is characterized by cycles and continual climbs that one must learn to love.

"I love that moment before the moment, as you were saying, I was thinking back to the few of those moments that I've had."

This quote highlights the anticipation and excitement before achieving a significant milestone in one's entrepreneurial journey.

"And so you better love the climb."

This quote emphasizes the importance of enjoying the process and journey of entrepreneurship, not just the outcomes.

Moments of Realization and Growth

  • Experiencing a sales team's success independently signifies a shift in business growth.
  • Transitioning business strategies, like switching from in-person to licensing, can lead to significant financial breakthroughs.
  • Realizing the potential for consistent success after a history of failures can be a transformative experience.

"And I remember I hired my first salesperson and they closed the sale, and I wasn't there."

This quote illustrates a pivotal moment where the speaker realized their business could succeed without their direct involvement.

"And that day I made, like, $60,000."

This quote conveys the speaker's surprise and realization of the potential scale of their business success.

The Impact of Financial Success

  • Financial success can lead to drastic lifestyle changes, such as moving from modest living to owning a mansion.
  • The emotional impact of financial milestones can vary; initial success may feel more significant than subsequent ones.
  • It's crucial to separate self-worth from financial achievements and recognize the transient nature of success.

"That was the crazy moment when I went from my starter mansion to my big mansion."

This quote reflects on the speaker's personal experience of a significant lifestyle change due to financial success.

"I learned very quickly a the money is not making me feel better about myself, which I secretly thought it would."

This quote reveals the speaker's realization that financial wealth did not equate to personal happiness or self-worth.

Self-Definition and Motivation

  • Self-identity can be shaped by one's actions and achievements.
  • Early career struggles can challenge self-definition due to a lack of evidence of success.
  • Ambition can sometimes overshadow the pursuit of happiness.

"I think a lot of my definitions have been defined by my actions, and so I am the person who has done these things."

This quote explains how the speaker sees their identity as a reflection of their past actions and accomplishments.

"I remember thinking in college, because you're young in college, and it's like, be happy and all that stuff, and I just remember being like, fuck happiness."

This quote captures a moment of frustration where the speaker rejected the pursuit of happiness in favor of achieving personal goals.

Redefining Happiness and Success

  • Overemphasis on mood can lead to an obsessive pursuit of happiness.
  • Shifting focus from introspection to action can lead to a more balanced emotional state.
  • Joy can be found in the full spectrum of human experiences, including suffering.

"I'm just going to do shit. And hopefully it works out."

This quote signifies a shift from obsessing over happiness to taking action and hoping for positive outcomes.

"If you are present, you're present. Like most people aren't present ever."

This quote suggests that being fully present in the moment allows one to experience life more fully, including joy in the face of adversity.

Philosophical Approaches to Life's Challenges

  • The "frame of the veteran" philosophy helps cope with repeated negative experiences by choosing to feel less affected from the start.
  • The "grandfather frame" is a concept to foster gratitude by imagining looking back on life with appreciation.

"If this negative thing were to happen a thousand times over and over and over again, how would I feel in the thousandth time?"

This quote introduces the "frame of the veteran" philosophy, which aims to reduce the emotional impact of negative experiences by preemptively accepting them.

"Is there a way that I can think of a frame that would allow me to feel gratitude?"

This quote leads to the introduction of the "grandfather frame," which is a mental approach designed to help the speaker feel gratitude more deeply.

Perspective on Age and Wealth

  • Alex reflects on the hypothetical situation of being 85 years old with wealth but limited time.
  • He imagines the experience of waking up in a younger body and appreciating the physical capabilities he once took for granted.
  • This mental exercise helps him stay present and reduces stress by providing perspective on the transient nature of current problems.

"I'm, like, close to dying. A little creaky. I've got tons of money, not a lot of time, and I somehow sacrifice all the money I have just to be my age again."

This quote highlights the imagined trade-off between wealth and youth, emphasizing the value of physical health and time over financial riches.

Frames of Reference

  • Tom discusses the importance of frames of reference and their impact on people's success.
  • He observes that intelligence is distributed evenly, but ineffective worldviews can hinder smart individuals from achieving their goals.
  • Tom aims to help people change their frames of reference to more effective ones.

"So I'm at quest and I've got 1000 employees who grew up hard in the inner cities, but intelligence is evenly distributed, right?"

Tom points out that intelligence is not the issue but rather the mindset and frames of reference that individuals use to interpret the world and their abilities.

Deathbed and Brain in a Vat Frames

  • Tom uses two potent frames of reference: the deathbed frame and the brain in a vat frame.
  • The deathbed frame provides perspective on the insignificance of certain stresses when faced with mortality.
  • The brain in a vat frame helps Tom detach from past events and recognize the malleability of memories and identity.

"I use a deathbed frame of reference to say, okay, how will I think about this?"

The deathbed frame of reference helps Tom gain perspective on what truly matters in life by considering how he would view current stresses from the point of view of his deathbed.

The Role of Fear in Success and Failure

  • Alex believes that fear, based on past experiences or future projections, is a significant factor in why people do not succeed or fail to persist after setbacks.
  • He values the frames of reference as tools to overcome these fears and maintain resilience.

"It's the fear of photons that fall on an object that prevent people from starting."

Alex metaphorically describes fear as a barrier to action, suggesting that people's perceptions, rather than the actual events, often hold them back.

Wealth, Identity, and Fulfillment

  • Tom and Alex discuss the concept of identity, particularly in relation to success and wealth.
  • Tom emphasizes the importance of finding fulfillment rather than tying one's sense of worth to wealth or fame.
  • Alex admits that he still partially defines his self-worth through his business achievements.

"The thoughts that I think are useful because they've resulted in fulfillment."

Tom values thoughts and actions that lead to personal fulfillment over those that result in wealth, suggesting a deeper measure of success.

Resilience and the Possibility of Losing Everything

  • Both speakers acknowledge the possibility of losing everything and the importance of not letting success define one's identity.
  • They recognize that while skills and resourcefulness can help rebuild after a loss, success is not guaranteed.

"If I lost everything tomorrow, I might not ever gain it back."

Tom accepts the uncertainty of life and the potential inability to regain lost success, reinforcing the idea that identity should not be tied to material success.

Final Thoughts and Where to Follow Alex

  • Alex provides information on where listeners can follow him and his content.
  • Tom and Alex conclude with a discussion on owning one's circumstances and not making excuses.

"Do not cast power to your excuses. Own your circumstances, because no one else will."

This quote from Alex encapsulates the theme of personal responsibility and empowerment, urging individuals to take control of their lives and not attribute their outcomes to external circumstances.

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