In a candid discussion on the 20 Minutes VC podcast, host Harry Stebbings and guests Ryan Peterson, Matteo Franceschetti, Justin Kan, and Steve Schlafman explore their personal journeys of giving up alcohol. They delve into the reasons behind their decisions, ranging from family history of addiction, the desire for improved performance and health, to the realization of alcohol-induced anxiety. The guests share insights on societal misconceptions about sobriety, such as the belief that one's social life will end or that others will care about their drinking choices. They also discuss the positive life changes post-sobriety, including better sleep, sharper focus, and authentic living, while offering advice for those considering a similar path. The episode also touches on the importance of community support in the recovery process and the ease of transitioning to a sober lifestyle contrary to popular belief.
"I decided today that alcohol was just not something that I needed in my life anymore and something I was relying on too much."
The quote highlights Harry's self-awareness and determination to change his relationship with alcohol.
"I had to have a smoke or a drink just to sort of make me feel normal."
This quote underlines the role of substances in Steve's routine and the shift in awareness that led to his decision to quit.
"The only thing we were missing was a habit, the habit of having something in your hand once you go back home."
The quote illustrates the role of habit in alcohol consumption and the possibility of replacing it with healthier alternatives.
"Drinking was tied to just, like, feeling pretty bad during the day. And it was also an emotional escape that I was going to."
This quote connects the dots between alcohol consumption, emotional health, and the decision to quit.
"I would have terrible anxiety tomorrow, but fuck it. And then the next day, there's the anxiety."
The quote captures the challenge of breaking a harmful cycle even when one is aware of its detrimental effects.
"For me, it was like I always found an excuse to keep going."
Harry's quote emphasizes the mental barriers that prevent immediate change, even after acknowledging a problem.
"For me, I had known that I was using substances more than the average person for most of my adult life. And like you, Harry, I would always make some sort of excuse and punt it."
This quote explains that the speaker, Steve Schlafman, was aware of his higher-than-average substance use and would make excuses to defer addressing the issue.
"The most surprising thing to me is since day one, since when I stopped outside. The obvious benefits, but I never miss it again."
The speaker reflects on the surprising lack of desire for substances after ceasing use, highlighting that the habit was not as deeply rooted as expected.
"My drinking was always like this, just escapism of, like, I can actually just be me and be young and be kind of carefree and bluntly get shit faced and forget about it all and do something stupid and laugh at stupid jokes."
Harry Stebbings discusses using drinking as an escape to avoid the pressures of his position and to experience a sense of youth and carefreeness.
"I've also had anxiety most of my adult life. And what I found towards the end and something that Ryan said really landed was, for me, the anxiety, like drinking and smoking actually ended up causing a lot more anxiety than it was reducing."
Steve Schlafman discusses how substance use initially helped with his anxiety but eventually led to an increase in anxiety levels.
"Drinking was like a magic know for me. I would just be able to be and say whatever I wanted, be the person that I thought I could be."
The speaker admits to using alcohol as a means to overcome lack of confidence and to avoid confronting personal issues.
"Zero people cared whether I drank or not, especially at my age. And with my friend group and the one or two people who did pressure me to drink, it was like a heat seeking map for who I shouldn't be friends with."
Ryan Peterson emphasizes that most people are indifferent to others' drinking habits, and those who pressure others to drink may not be suitable friends.
"What it's allowed me to do is actually be more selective on the things that I say yes to and the people that I want to spend my time with."
Steve Schlafman explains how not drinking has enabled him to be more intentional about his social choices and the company he keeps.
"And I would never have thought that I could have fun without being hammered at nightlife before. But it's kind of like having to actually just live your life in normal mode instead of easy mode and figure out how you can have the confidence and be okay with yourself in the situations, even if you're sober, which has been probably pretty good for me."
This quote highlights the positive impact sobriety can have on personal confidence and enjoyment of social activities without the crutch of alcohol.
"I used a streak tracker. So I downloaded streak tracker, and I just started tracking the days that I wasn't drinking."
The use of a streak tracker is mentioned as a practical tool to monitor progress and reinforce the habit of not drinking.
"I am also a user of streaks. Big fan of that app. But someone recommended a book that was called Integral Recovery by this author, John Dupui, who takes sort of Ken Wilbur's integral theory and applies it to recovery."
The speaker talks about using the Streaks app and reading "Integral Recovery" to take a comprehensive approach to sobriety, indicating the effectiveness of combining technological tools with educational resources.
"For me, obviously, biggest improvement in sleep. I think this is probably something that everyone sees."
The speaker emphasizes the significant improvement in sleep as a direct result of stopping drinking, suggesting a common experience among those who become sober.
"Well, yeah, I mean, I think the biggest misconception is that alcohol is not that it's healthy."
The speaker addresses the misconception that alcohol is not harmful due to its legal status, despite it being a poison.
"I actually think the biggest misconception that I had was that it would be difficult."
The speaker discusses the personal misconception that quitting drinking would be challenging, which turned out to be easier than expected.
"I think former drinkers tend to be kind of badass."
This quote suggests that there is a positive perception of those who have successfully quit drinking.
"Not drinking is pretty clear and obvious. One, it's probably like the easiest optimization for anyone to do."
The speaker remarks on the acceptance and benefits of not drinking within certain communities, noting it as a simple yet effective way to improve one's lifestyle.
"Me. You know, it's interesting, Harry, you had said something earlier that really landed for me, which was this idea of, like, if you're not drinking, then can you really be your full self?"
The speaker counters the notion that alcohol is necessary to be one's full self, suggesting that true self-discovery and authenticity can be achieved through sobriety.
"I'm way more authentically myself. Right. Which goes to why, when someone's like, why don't you drink? And I'm pretty open with them is because I'm owning who I am as a person."
This quote emphasizes the importance of owning one's identity and how personal choices can reflect and reinforce authenticity.
"Start with a week, and then from there maybe you extend and you see if you miss it or not."
This quote suggests that taking small steps towards change can make the process less daunting and more manageable.
"Having kids completely turns everything about the way you think and operate on its head."
This quote highlights the profound impact that life events, like having children, can have on one's daily habits and thought processes.
"Being generically right and specifically wrong is extremely dangerous as a leader."
This quote captures the essence of the need for leaders to be well-informed and precise in their understanding of their business.
"Now they are waking up at 7:15 a.m. So on average, our users are sleeping 30 minutes more per day."
This quote provides an example of how external factors, like lockdowns, can affect user behavior, in this case, sleep patterns.
"I'm not necessarily working for big lp base and other partners that I can show up and just purely work for them."
This quote reflects the speaker's desire to have a more personal and direct impact on the entrepreneurs they work with, rather than being driven by institutional pressures.
"The opposite of addiction is connection."
This quote, referencing a saying by Johann Hari, underscores the importance of community and support in overcoming addiction.
"If you'd like more real, open, honest, vulnerable show is like this, do let me know."
This quote invites the audience to engage with the content and provide feedback, indicating the host's openness to shaping the podcast based on listener preferences.
"Hello Sign is an effortless esignature solution used by millions to securely send and request legally valid digital signatures and agreements."
This quote exemplifies how technology can streamline business processes, in this case, through the use of digital signatures.
"Cooleys form more venture capital funds than any other law firm in the world."
This quote highlights Cooley's expertise and experience in the venture capital sector, positioning them as a leading legal service provider for startups and VCs.